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Hi! I haven't heard from you in awhile,how are things? ↓
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| Name: Texas_Mom | Date: Oct 25th, 2006 2:08 AM |
Hi Lizzi,
Life is good. Very calm. Daughter called me twice over the weekend. She only wants her bedroom furnishings. I told her I would have to think about it. I'm kinda in between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, I don't want her sleeping on an old broken bed at her dad's house, on the other hand, SHE made the choice to move in with him. It's not really a big deal for me to give her the bed that is still in her room here, however, how will she ever know the full effect of her choices if I don't let her be without luxuries for a while? She told me she won't be back to sleep here anymore. I told her that's fine. I didn't get upset. I was very calm. I have also discovered that she wrote VERY hateful, nasty things about me to a friend of hers on the internet. I really don't want to do anything nice for her because I know deep down inside that she will turn on me just like a snake. I don't trust her or her words. I'm still very deeply disturbed and hurt by her actions and words. I'm letting time be my friend. In the meantime, last weekend I babysat one of my granddaughters for the first time in many months. I was thrilled that my sons ex-girlfriend called ME to babysit. I was so happy to see her. She has grown so much and she's just a doll!!! I just got through babysitting for my other granddaughter a few minutes ago. She is a month older than my other one. She is my other sons daughter. I am also picking up my boyfriend's daughter from school everyday. Some days, his daughter brings her son, who's only 7 weeks, over to visit into the evening. My boyfriend loves to spend time with his grandson. Yes, we still have family all around us and the grandbabies are so very important to both of us. Our weekends usually consist of my boyfriend and I shopping, watching movies, and just spending time together without any kids around, except if we're needed to babysit. We're always available for that wonderful task!!!! Our home is now a very calming and relaxing atmosphere with lots of love and laughter. I really feel sorry for my daughter that she chooses not to be a part of what we have. How are you? Your car??? Kids? Dad? Life in general? I hope you have a wonderful evening and a great day tomorrow. I haven't had much time to chat lately. Been busy with work and such. Talk to you soon. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 25th, 2006 1:56 PM |
| Hi Texas_Mom! I understand your hardship with your daughter but if that's the way she wants to be then what can you do right? I think if I were you I'd tell her the bed stays and her dad will have to buy her one for his house along with anything else she may need to go with it! After all,that bed will come in handy for your family members that may want to stay the night sometime or something.I think it's really sad when mothers and daughters don't get along,I mean aren't they supposed to be like the best of friends as well? I'm lucky in that I have a very good relationship with my mom. I wouldn't want it any other way. Me and my mom help each other through everything from emotional woes to financial troubles. Neither of us has much money but if the other one is ever in need of a few extra dollars,we always help each other out as long as we have it to give. I wish sometimes I'd had a daughter but nope,I was given a son,oh well! Sometimes I regret only having one because my sons 15 now and there are other family members who have little girls and sometimes it makes me sad that I don't have one.But I made my decision to have my tubes tied long ago. And someday I'll have grandkids....maybe? Maybe my son will bring a baby girl into the picture one day?! My car is fixed!!!! The timing belt broke and the water pump was shot but thanks to.....(yes my dad!),he helped get it taken care of and got me back in my car! He didn't do the work but he hired his friend to do it and paid him for me and I will pay him back when we get our incometax money in february! My dad is like two different people and you just never know which one your going to get when you talk to him.His nicer side doesn't come out often though,it's usually the other. My husband always tells people he has (several) father-in-laws,lol! Anyway,I'm so glad to have my car back,I always hated driving other peoples vehicles! I wanted my own! Anyway,what are your holiday plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas? We always go to my grandmas house and have a big party in the basement,it's really alot of fun! The basements all decorated and we have food and goodies galore and lots of drinks to choose from,(both alcohol and non-alcohol). My two uncles play guitars and sing and some of us dance,it's really alot of fun and I'm looking forward to it! :) Anyway,i just wanted to see how you were since we hadn't talked in awhile,get back with me when you can o.k.? ↑ |
| Name: Texas_Mom | Date: Oct 25th, 2006 3:01 PM |
Lizzi,
Glad to hear your car is on the road again. No plans for Thanksgiving or Christmas. My folks live in Kentucky. One sister lives in Tennessee, the other in California. One brother lives in Florida and the other in Michigan. We're spread out so far that everyone usually meets in Kentucky for Thanksgiving. I'm sure my dad will invite the ex and the kids, again this year. I have no intention of being there. I miss my sisters and brothers, however, it's not worth the trip to be somewhere where my boyfriend isn't welcome. My parents dislike him very much and it's just too much drama for us. I would like for my kids and grandkids to spend some of the holidays with us but if they have other plans, maybe my boyfriend and I will go away somewhere together. I'll have to wait and see what happens. Anyway, sounds like your family is a lot of fun. You're right about my daughter. If she wants those things, she can beg her dad for them. Plus, I've got step daughters that need a bed to sleep in when they visit. I've also got the baby crib set up in her old room so the grandbabies have a safe place to sleep while visiting. I'm glad your "other" dad helped you get your car fixed. Glad to hear you have a good relationship with your mom. My relationship with my mom is strained, to say the least. Both my parents still love the ex and think he is still part of the family. That's ok. I don't have to partake in whatever their plans are. I'm happy with myself and don't need their approval to live my life. For crying out loud, I'm in my 40's now. I'm not a teenager anymore and can make my life choices without having their blessing. Well, you take care and I'll talk to you soon. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 27th, 2006 3:12 PM |
| Hey there Texas_Mom,I'm sorry you will be missing your family so much! It's sad that your parents want to accept your ex more than you and your boyfriend,that's not right! I hope that you can still find a pleasant way to enjoy the holidays anyway! As long as you and your man are happy and together then that's all you really need right? Oh,and some good food and drink too right?! I'll send happy wishes your way o.k.? Talk to you soon,take care! ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 28th, 2006 3:31 AM |
| To Texas_Mom---You are absolutely right, family members that don't stick by your side and judge you aren't really worth the effort. As much as it hurts, you don't owe them anything. As long as you are happy with your life and your boyfriend, that's what really counts. I'm sorry your daughter hasn't been the best. I agree, I wouldn't give her the bed. She willingly left them behind and therefore, if she wants a bed, well, her father should buy her one. The saying goes, you made your bed, now ly in it. It's harsh but she made her choice. One day, she will realize and perhaps apologize for all the harsh things she has done. Only time will tell. You hang in there, keep your head up high, and keep up the positive spirit. You deserve it even though your ex and family members may not think so. The ones that really know you, are the ones, who will stick with you. Sure, it hurts and hurts deeply but you can't change them. They have to be willing to change themselves and chances are no matter what you do, they won't. It seems like you have learned to accept them for who they are and that's all you can do. Cheer up and enjoy those grandbabies. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 28th, 2006 3:34 AM |
| Lizzi---Can I come over for the holidays? It sounds like you all have a great time!!! Those are times to remember. You know, you mentioned you wished you had a daughter, but you have a son. Son's are blessings to their mothers. The make their mom's proud. Your day will come and perhaps you will have those grandbabies to share your love with. Just think of all the spoiling you will get to do?? Anyways, I hope you and Texas_Mom will have great holidays and a wonderful New Year. ↑ |
| Name: Texas_Mom | Date: Oct 28th, 2006 6:51 AM |
Tweetybird & Lizzi,
Thank you so very much for including me in your thoughts. It means a great deal to me. Don't worry, I will not let anything spoil the festivities of the holidays, even if I'm not with my parents and siblings. I'll invite sons, daughter, step-daughters, boyfriends, girlfriends, grandbabies...oh, we'll have a blast. Tweety, I agree, lets make plans to be adopted by Lizzi's family!!!! What dish can we bring to pass? LIzzi, you are surely blessed with such a close-knit family. I will keep my chin up and be strong and happy. I forgive my parents for their faults. I don't hold it against them. They have the freedom to like or dislike whomever they choose to. I accepted the way my parents are when I was around 14 years old. That's when I started running away. I guess Texas was far enough since this is where I landed. I believe I am the enigma of the family because out of us 5, no one is quite as vocal, brutally honest, and will not be controlled. Yes, when I was a teenager I was told I was totally out of control. At least that statement was true!!!!! Out of THEIR control. I still miss my siblings very much, especially my sisters. We have such fun together. Well, maybe next year. Great news tonight, my youngest son stopped by for a quick visit tonight. I haven't seen him in many, many months. Every time I try to call him, he claims I'm lecturing him. We had a very nice chat. I hugged him tight, kissed him many times, and told him I loved him and please come back anytime. My heart was singing!!! I'm so happy. I realize that the trials and tribulations with my daughter will not last forever. I sincerely hope one day she realizes that I'm really not the "bad" guy. She has not called and asked for her bed again. When she does, I will let her know that the bed stays. Dad will have to take care of that need for her. We will spread good cheer, enjoy the food and libations with whomever would like to join us. Every year, I prepare dozens of sour cream cut out cookies. I prepare the frosting from scratch and color it accordingly. I have every imaginable sprinkle, etc. to decorate them with. When the kids were young, they loved it. Now, it's just us big kids!!! Wish you 2 could come over and decorate cookies with us. Well, girls, I hope both of you have wonderful holidays and that they run smoothly. Talk to you soon. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 29th, 2006 1:54 AM |
| Tweetybird4 and Texas_mom,Hey girls!!!! I wish we could all get together and bake cookies too!!! That's okay that we can't though,I will think of you both as I'm having a holiday drink in good cheer! :) I do have a little bit of bad news. My dad is being an asshole again! My mom stopped by after work tonight and told me that this morning my dad started in on her running her down and she grabbed her make-up and ran out of the house in tears! She had to wait til she got to work to put her make-up on. My mom is such a sweetheart and she is the last person in the world who deserves treatment like that. I get so angry and upset because I see how much she hurts and I can't do a damn thing about it! I have never ever in all my life met anyone like my dad. Oh,then he also told my mom that his relationship between him and my son is over because my son only comes around when he wants to make money!!!!!! I told my mom that if dad wasn't such a mouthy moody asshole then maybe my son might be more willing to come and just hang out with his grandpa!!! My mom understands why he doesn't come over willingly. She always says someday dad will meet his maker and be made to see how he treated people! Then later tonight I get a call from my dad asking me how my cars running and asks my son to come over and help him with something!!!! First he's one way and then another,I've never met anyone like him!!! Mom told me that someday when she's had enough she will do something. I told her gee mom it's been almost 40 years,you haven't had enough yet?! The next time I talk to her I am jokingly going to tell her not to leave dad until I have my car paid for or else he will come and take it from me! Nah,she will never leave him no matter what he says or does,it's just that sometimes her feelings get so hurt by him that I think sometimes the thought crosses her mind but it won't ever happen. I just wish he could be nice and normal but he isn't. It's the way he's always been and the way he'll always be. Thanks for listening. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 29th, 2006 11:03 PM |
| To Lizzi--Gosh, Lizzi....this is terrible. Your poor mom. Tell her if she does decide to leave, to slowly get the things that are so important to her out of the house without him knowing about it. Pack a little at time in a box, then take it to your house to store. Then, if she is ever ready to take that step, she can just walk away. Leave behind everything else. Although, she probably shouldn't come to your house because he may come looking for her and put you in the middle of it too. Or, will your husband stand up to him? If he will, then maybe it's possible. Wow, perhaps he needs to be on medication but I'm sure his pride would never allow him to see a doctor for his moods. He doesn't think he does anything wrong. I don't blame your son for not wanting to go visit. Gees, if all he does is complain, forget it. Friday, there was a special on 20/20 and Good Morning America about this woman's husband beating her in front of the children. The one son was forced to video tape the husband beating her. It was her boss at work that started documenting the physical signs of abuse and would keep an eye on her. Finally, one day, the woman reached her breaking point, when her eye was beaten shut, she went to her boss and told her she had enough. Her boss called the police, they taped the phone call to husband, heard his verbal abuse that he was going to kill her if she didn't get her behind home, and they went in and had him arrested. I believe he ended up with a 36 year sentence for his abuse to her. Their 19 old daughter wouldn't stand up and admit that her father wasn't abusing her mom. Perhaps she was threatened, too. Yet, the jerk was very arrogant in the court room and thought he could control the whole situation. Well, unfortunately, he couldn't. I guess this abuse went on for a long time before she could finally leave him. It's sad your mom has put up with this for so long. She probably wonders where she would go or what would she do if she left him? That is something that usually holds a person back. Tell, your mom, we care about her too and we're very sorry she has to deal with this. She is so lucky to have you. I'm sure she's very thankful. I doubt things will ever get better with him but one day, he's going to be left all alone. If only that day was here, right??? Well, I hope your week will go better for you all. XOXOXOXOX ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 30th, 2006 4:03 AM |
| Hi Texas_Mom---You are a very smart woman. You see the negativity around you, yet you don't let them get the best of you. Koodles to you. I've found this to be true.....when you lose some of your family, there is always others that can replace them (even though they may not be blood). Think of it this way, you have your internet family, who care about you---just the way you are. Obviously, you realize you can't change them and you don't have to change yourself for them but for us, here, you can be yourself. That's what really important.....is being yourself. Still, I'm sorry you've had to deal with hardship throughout your life. Sometimes, things happen for a reason.....I guess it's how we handle what we've been through and we learn how to change things to make our lives for the better. So, stay you and we will always love you!!!XOXOXOXOXOX ↑ |
| Name: Texas_Mom | Date: Oct 31st, 2006 11:54 PM |
Tweety,
Thank you, my dear!!!! I really appreciate all your kindness and love. I totally agree with you that everything happens for a reason even though it may not be revealed right away. The trials and tribulations that we endure only make us stronger. Thanks for being you, tweety!!! ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Nov 1st, 2006 3:58 AM |
| Hey Texas_Mom--You are welcome anytime. Listen, would you be willing to email me, I truly enjoy chatting with you more? [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Texas_Mom | Date: Nov 5th, 2006 12:42 AM |
Hi Tweety,
I sent an email to you and all the recent drama is there. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and I look forward to chatting with you more. You really have given me some very sound advice and I appreciate it very much. Talk to you soon!!! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Nov 8th, 2006 4:16 PM |
| Texas_Mom and pj754,I'm baaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
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