Home » Pick Your Crowd » Divorced Family » confused

Hello, guest
|

Name: tb

[ Original Post ]

I'm 25 and been married for 8 years and we've had problems for 7 of those 8. I've stayed because of my son and because I feel guilty for leaving him all by his self. He says he's happy. I don't understand how he can be if I'm not. I think he's just comfortable and doesn't want to be alone. My son is so attached to him I'm just afraid it will tear him apart. ↓

Name: Justine | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 3:13 PM

You could seperate but it takes a really strong heart to keep things honest and fair. I did it and my son is ok with things. And I still love my ex a little bit. But it's been alot of emotional work to see my ex fall in love with another great girl. And to let my son go to be with his dad often. It's really a challenge. And I'm happy and I've respected my true worth. I hope you figure out what's best for you. Try to listen to your head and your heart and make them agree :) ↑

Name: tb | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 3:18 PM

Thanks for replying. My husband says he won't seperate. It's divorce or nothing. He said he didn't get married to be seperated. That's what makes it so hard either we stay together or we get divorced. ↑

Name: seperated mom | Date: Jan 14th, 2006 5:01 AM

Sure there are things that keep people together other than love, but no other reason is worth it. you love your baby enough to die for him, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your happiness for the next 10-15 yrs to make him 'happy'. Kids are good at sensing when things are not quite right. If you are close with your child, he will know you are unhappy, and ultimately, he will be unhappy too. Don't give up on your hopes and dreams for your life just because you are a mom. You need and deserve to be loved and cared for in a real and passionate relationship. Don't lock yourself away in a marriage to a man who would even think of being happy if you cried one tear or spent one day in regret. Show your son that you are strong enough to be on your own and rebuild your life the way you want it to be. Someday he will be able to look at his mother and know that he wants a wife just like her...........someone determined to stand her ground and not allow anyone to cheat her of the happiness she deserves. OR.........you can be the downtrodden wife that he pities......your choice. ↑