So my husband and I have been through ups a downs over the 5 years that we have been married. With dealing with his ex in the beginging who made out life hell, always trying to start stuff and cause trouble. then she never came around at all to now she is here all the time, not just with the kids but here, at out house. My kid's dad was in the milliitary when my husband and I got together and he was pretty good. He didn't hardly pay child support, but he came saw her as often as he could. But when he got out he went down hill fast, and now he never sees her and never sends any type of support. This has been for about three years. My husbands ex's family is very envolved in the kids lives, they see them, do things with them, and buy them many things.They sometimes even by things for my kid. Which is some awsome cause they don't have to. I Know they are greatfull for me in the kids life becuase it is way more stable then it was before I came along. It still is a little strange sometimes that they buy her things becuase I 'm not sure how they really feal about it, like If they feel like they have to Or I will get mad that the other kids are getting things. I do get a little upset. Not that the other kids are getting things all the time, but because my child isn't He has 3 and I have one. I am so affriad that she will grow up with a complex, that she is the step child, the one that always gets less, means less. My husband says we can't get her things to make up for what the other kids family gets them because we can't afford it, and becuase then his kids would think that we love her more, and he doesn't want them growing up thinking that. I thnk their is more of a risk with my kid having a complex becuase she never gets to do the things the other kids get to do than just telling the kids look were just trying to even things out a liitle.
other problems we have is that y husband is pretty jelous. In the begginig we didn't go out with out each other because everything was new. Then after a year of marriage, we wanted to have a night out every once in a while. I got to got out with my friends just a few times before he put the nix on that. So it was several more years before i started to be able to go out again. That was in this last year. I'm talking maybe once every 2nd or 3rd month.We live in a small town and we went out in this small town, so anything that happened would get around. He went out with his friends as often as this but had been doing it for a while now. He didn't like that fact that I was going out sometimes but he let me. Until one time he fouund out that at the bar one of my ex boy friends was there, and I didn't leave. Now in all fairness, I did have idea that he might be there. Nothing happened at all. But he was very angry that he was there. He kicked me out of the house for a few days, and even when I came back it was just suppose to be tempporary. I pleaded and begged, but noting was working. He said that I hored around on him and he hated me, and would never love me again. he took of his ring. After I while I did too, in hopes that he would put his back on. Neither one of us has. We did start to get along better. Bet his still said that this didn't mean that he was going to stay, but he was going to try. He offten would say something about me horing around, or the only reason he staying is becuase I begged him to. things Have never been the same, they way his kisses or talks to me. Things had gone down hill before any of this had happened and we had already talked about splitting up, but i guess we always thought maybe when things with money and school were better we would be better. After this I'm not sure that It will ever be the same. Like I said I didn't cheat, but i understand that it hurt him. I did want to see my ex, I had always stayed friends with my exes before. I just wanted to see how he was doing, have him see that I was dong great. Another thing that really bothers me is that when my husband goes out he is a big flirt. He hangs out with single guys, he flirts with girls, says things he shouldn't gets girls to show him and his buudies their boobs. And this is what he tells me. I think of the saying, a dirty dog barks first. Mybe he thinks I do what he does when he out. Also he has a job where his time his pretty free. He could be any where at any time and I would never know. He has more then one cell phone becuase he works for a cell phone company, so he could have girls call him or see them and I would never know. Some times I think he sees his ex. Before we started seeing each other they were already divorced, and he had another girl friend. Well he cheated on his girl friend with his ex wife, and she liked being the other women. I even found out that when we first stared dating that he hooked up with his ex wife a few times and I'm not to sure that he didn't see his ex girl friend a few times to. this was before we had done anything or got commited, but still. His ex wife is a very pretty girl, and I am jelous of her I know. She makes me mad because she hasn't always been the best mom. But I can't help but be jelous be cause she gets plastic surgery( boobs, lipo, tummy tucks) her hair and nails done all the time. New clothes, and gets to travel all over with guys. I don't want to live the life style she does but it is hard for me to see her have all this when she doesn't even have a job. I use to have nice things, now I have to think about even buying things at walmart.
The last thing is that a few weeks ago my feet started going numb tinggling, and It started going up my legs to my chest. I went to the doctor and they found a tumor pushing on my spine and growing into my chest cavity. It has been removed, I am ok. the tumors are caused by a gentic dissorder and the tumor I have can come back, plus it genetic and my daughter has it, but no tumors, atleast ofright now.
But I can't work for like 2 months. my husband jokes and says that I guess I can't leave you now, thats a steight ticket to hell. I know hes joking, but I know hes for real too. I don't want to be a burrden on any one. I don't want to be with some one who doesn't love me. But maybe Something like this is what we need to get us back where we were. ↓
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| Name: dianna | Date: Feb 19th, 2008 5:52 PM |
| HI, you are going through so much in the recent past. I am glad first that your surgery went fine. I am sorry but as you describe him, (but you know him better than anyone) he is not that sincere or commited. Just the fact that you are doubting him this much seem negative. I think you can do better. You sound much more "substance" than what it seems he is used to. Hang in there. ↑ |
| Name: Julian | Date: Feb 19th, 2008 8:21 PM |
| I can make you feel better so send me an email. Do keep in mind that I like a lot of girls.... ↑ |
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