my husband and i have been together for 10 years and still have problems with his ex wife and older kids
we recently went to a funeral of my husbands cousin my husband . When we arrived his exwife was there with oldest daughter from there marriage, his ex wife really didn't know the deceased at all they have been divorced for at least 19 years and she never spoke to the deceased in that time can anyone tell me what right she had to be there ↓
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| Name: Lory | Date: Jul 13th, 2007 4:32 PM |
| I'm really not sure wether she should have been there...but, thinking about your step-daughter...she could have been there as support for her. On the other hand...I have the x from he!! I would have felt uncomfortable (or should I say want to puke)with her being there....only b/c she wouldn't have her daughter's best interests at heart. We still have probs too after 13 yrs. I'm sorry I couldn't have offered the greatest advice...but only my opinion. Have a good day! ↑ |
| Name: bluenight | Date: Jul 13th, 2007 7:51 PM |
my step daughter had her husband there for support also
and besides my step daughter was not close to the deceased either just some family dinners once a year ↑ |
| Name: patty | Date: Jul 14th, 2007 3:19 PM |
| No right at all. Some of the Xs just have to be involved or included because they cant let it go. ↑ |
| Name: just a thought | Date: Jul 17th, 2007 8:13 PM |
| i read so many of these and it seems as if the "new" wife thinks that she has rein over her husband and ALL of his family. Just remember you divorce husbands an wives not children or other family members. Being a second or third or whatever wife intails that you will have to put up with some crap. ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Jul 17th, 2007 10:48 PM |
just a thought,
I'm going to have to disagree...it seems the "old" wives think they need to control every aspect of the x hubbys lives after a divorce. No...it should not entail coming with crap...as it so often does. ↑ |
| Name: just a thought | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 8:38 PM |
| If there is one job harder than being a parent its being a step parent. I am both and it was" easier" when I wasn’t a step parent. I'm not saying that the new wife has to put up with everything, but pick you battles. And yes it does mean that you will have to put up with some crap, as does the ex, for one thing they know that some other women is in their child’s life. Sometimes I get mad, and even complain, but I have to remind my self that we often can’t change other people's behaviors, so we have to work on our own. To bluenight I really understand how upsetting it can be, after rereading my statement I know it came out harsh and that wasn't what I attended to do. I am put in situations a lot that I am like wow she is really overstepping her boundaries, and sometimes it is more than I can handle too. Like I said it’s not about always putting up with crap but really deciding if what their doing really even matters. ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 10:39 PM |
just a thought,
A big A-MEN to you on saying you need to pick your battles....there are times when you just have to....when whomever has overstepped their boundaries. Which in my case...ALWAYS happens. And..thank you..it is soooo true on deciding if some what they are doing really matters....b/c most of the time it doesn't! And...I haven't been in that position..but, I can understand how it feels to have "another" woman in my child's life....I don't know how I would handle that...but, hopefully I would be mature about it. Have a good day!! ↑ |
| Name: mama-b | Date: Jul 24th, 2007 5:16 PM |
| It's called Cardinal Works of Mercy. ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Jul 25th, 2007 1:35 AM |
| Name: bluenight | Date: Jul 27th, 2007 4:38 AM |
thank you all for answering
this is something I have to deal with now so she doesnt show her face at my childrens gatherings you seee all of there kids are grown and have kids of there own also ,, the oldest three step kids ar ebigs brats with me me on there minds in fact one told my husband she just wanted his money and no love they have cheated stoled lied through there teeth and mommy does nothing well now that they are grown they have no morals or common sense. I hope there children survive .. I am an ex wife myself I know were the bounderies with my ex if I feel a need to show I care I send A card to my ex husband not show up and sit with the family which I am no longer apart of........ ↑ |
| Name: jammers80 | Date: Jul 27th, 2007 10:17 PM |
bluenight,
i understand your frustration completely. i have a question for you? How many kids do you and your husband have? how many did he have when you met him? how does your kids and your step children get along? ↑ |
| Name: Renea | Date: Jan 21st, 2008 10:07 PM |
| They were just showing respect. They may have thought that they were expected. Think of it as you going to a coworker's mom's funeral. You don't know her directly. How did she find out about it anyways? Who ever told them must have thought they should attend. I hope you sat hand in hand with your husband and stuck to him like glue the whole time. ↑ |
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