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I've been thinking for the last couple days maybe I am too attached to my unborn baby, for how many weeks along I am. I am only 6 weeks, and I am so concerned and worried about him/her/them all the time. When the doctors asked me if I wanted to go ahead with emergency surgery for my tumor I wouldn't let them - I already kind of "loved" the baby, and would rather risk something happening to me, than it. I don't know if I should just try to stop thinking of it that way - and just start thinking along the lines of "it's only a few milimeters of cells"... or what. I'm afraid that if the surgery (which I will HAVE to have to 15 weeks) causes a miscarriage then I'll be traumatized. Is anyone else really attached already? or am I being silly? ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 6:11 PM |
| It isn't out of the ordinary for you to feel the attachment you do so soon because there is a baby growing inside you no matter how small at the moment. However,you need to take extremely good care of yourself and do what the doctors feel you should do too. If I were you ,I would go ahead and have the tumor removed now rather than wait until later.No matter what,you will have this baby IF it is meant to be. If your surgery cause you to miscarry wouldn't you rather miscarry at an early stage of pregnancy than a much later one? You say you're attached now but that feeling will only continue to grow stronger as the baby grows larger. I say,fix yourself first while the baby is still so small,I think it would be less complicated for the surgeon to operate now than it would be if the baby was half grown.It's your call but this is my opinion. Good luck with whatever you decide. ↑ |
| Name: nicole jones | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 6:30 PM |
The thought has crossed my mind the last couple days that maybe I should just get the surgery, but I haven't been in the amazing amounts of pain that I was... so I feel like maybe I don't really need it as bad as they say I do. I could actually feel the tumor growing before - now it only hurts just a bit every now and then. I have already decided that if the baby does not make it through the surgery (either sooner or later) I am going to go back on the clomid as soon as humanly possible. It worked the very first time before, and if the tumor wasn't an issue I'd be in perfect health. That eases my mind some - but it still doesn't help completely. I guess I'd just really like THIS baby to be okay... even though I know I can have another one.
If it starts to hurt really really bad again, I will probably get the surgery done - I just hope that is in 8 or 9 weeks... instead of 1 or 2, because then I may be able to have both, the baby and the surgery. ↑ |
| Name: Renee_Miracle | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 10:00 PM |
1. I found out I was pregnant seventeen days into my pregnancy, and I became attached at that moment. No, YOU ARE NOT TOO ATTACHED.
2. As the months went by I found out during one of my ultrasounds that the fibroid (which I had forgotten even existed because it was so minute in the past) had grown.
3. I don't know if you're referring to a fibroid when you say tumor, but if so that can easily be resolved by having a cesarean. My baby never caused me ANY PROBLEMS during my pregnancy, no morning sickness or anything, and I never even dialated. My daughter was born three days overdue (through a scheduled cesarean). We did not want her to get trapped by the fibroid, so that is why I had the cesarean (along with the fact that I/she was overdue). My precious angel was born very healthy, and she is now fourteen weeks. I loved her then, and love her now. I don't know what I would do without her.
I'll pray that you don't run into any problems carrying your little miracle baby :) ↑ |
| Name: nicole jones | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 10:08 PM |
| Unfortunatly when I say tumor, Renee, I mean a 5 inch tumor that is attached in my abdomen (they haven't yet figured out what exactly it's attached too), right above my uterus. They also haven't figured out if it is cancerous or not, because they cannot do a biopsy without hurting the baby. I don't feel like it's cancer, because I'm still young - but it is still growing, about 2 inches every month, and needs to be removed ASAP. I wish a ceserean would be the only complication, but unfortunatly I will have to have surgery before giving birth one way or another (scheduled or emergency). Congratulations on your baby, and I'm glad things worked out well for you. Hopefully everything will be okay for mine. I'm more worried about the anesthesia than anything, I haven't been able to find anyone who went through surgery while pregnant, to ask how the baby turned out. ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 10:08 PM |
| From the min i found out i was prgrnant with my son who is now two i loved him! ↑ |
| Name: vane20 | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 10:19 PM |
| i know how you feel nicole. with the miscarrigae i had 2 days ago im very upset. and i was already attached also. i know i can have another one, but i wanted this one, and now ill never forget him no matter how many more babied i have. it doesnt matter that hes just "millimeters of cells", you love him the same because you feel like wherever you go he goes too, and now i feel so empty and lonely even though my hubby and my 18month old are with me. its a feeling of loss nobody else can feel only the mother. but i agree with Lizzi about rather having a miscarriage this early, i was 9wks. i never heard my baby's heartbeat and in a strange way im glad i didnt, cause i think i would be hurting a whole lot more thatn i am right now. i wish you the best. p.s. a friend of a friend had surgery while pregnant, had her appendix removed when she was about 2-3months, and everything went okay. she said the doctors didnt even see the baby, he was just too tiny. anyway, good luck with everything, keep in touch ↑ |
| Name: nicole jones | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 10:37 PM |
| Thanks for letting me know about the surgery Vane, I think the doctors are maybe just being safe by telling my that I will almost definitly lose the baby - I know that medicine can do amazing things these days, I just don't have the best of luck... and can't wait until it's over and I can relax. That's mostly the reason I do want it done now (and would have already done it if it was a little safer), because once that's taken care of then there isn't any other problems and the baby would be home free. ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 10:41 PM |
You not at all being out of the ordinary by feeling attached to you baby. I thin alot of people become attached their baby as soon as they find out, if not they usually are by the time they hear the heart beat for the first time. In your case I think just knowing that the tumor is their and you were able to concieve this baby or babies is beyond a blessing.
I think if I was told that I had to have the surgery either now or when I was 15 weeks I'm not sure what I would do. It would be easy for me to say that since the risks are the same at either stage that I would opt to have the surgery done now. I think the problem that your going to run into later on is the fact that your going to see you baby's heart beat and you'll hear the babies heart beat and should you lose this baby or babies because of the surgery it's going to be that more painful.
I have a feeling that the tumor was probably your reason for having to go on clomid to concieve in the first place. ↑ |
| Name: nicole jones | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 10:46 PM |
| The risks aren't the same Ethansmom... the doctors told me that after 15 weeks the risks to the baby deminish a lot. They said if I do it now I will definitly lose it, and still probably could then. But they said later is better. ↑ |
| Name: nicole jones | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 10:47 PM |
| If I wait as long as possible there is a chance that it could come out okay. ↑ |
| Name: vane20 | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 11:24 PM |
| ur in a tough situation nicole. but i think it is better to do it as late as possible, that way survival chances for your baby will be greater. i wish you luck from the bottom of my heart and may god be with you. ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jul 16th, 2006 11:30 PM |
Okay it's just me but the reason that I decided to have a planned cesarean with my second child is because the risks to me and the baby where far less then those if I tried a VBAC. So unless the doctor told me after running some tests that I had to have the surgery right now I think I would wait. You being given the option to either lose your baby forsure now or dealing with a possibility that you might lose the baby.
This ones really hard. Because at the same time the further along you become the more attached you will become to this baby/babies. ↑ |
| Name: mommyagain | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 2:48 PM |
| Nicole... you can only feel how you feel. No way is right or wrong. You have wantedthis for a long time now it is here... of course you are attached. Medically do what the dr says, its hard i know but if he thinks it it is too risky for U to wait then do it now if he thinks you can wait it out till the second trimester do that. It is a very tough situation but we are all here for you. I will EVEN pray! ↑ |
| Name: nicole jones | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 4:41 PM |
| I know nothing is "right" or "wrong"... I guess I just feel strange, because I don't really know anyone that has even started calling it "the baby" until they started to show - so I didn't know if other people got attached as quick as I did. ↑ |
| Name: mommyagain | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 4:44 PM |
| Oh Nicole... I call it the baby... not only that... I am only 11 weeks along... only had one Dr appt and already started the nursery!! Just got the crib yesterday!!! It is ok to be attached. Sometimes I worry I wont love it enough or that I dont want it enough. I know I want it. I know I love it. I just have to tell myself these are normal pregnancy feelings and go one day at a time. You are going to be a great mom no matter what happens. ↑ |
| Name: Petrona | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 6:26 PM |
| Nicole, I'm already attached to my Baby Pea and would probably put off anything that would jeopardize her/his health at this time as well. My sis-in-law has surgery to remove a cyst the size of a tennis ball while pregnant. She knew there was a chance she would lose the baby so she also waited. My nephew is now 12 years old and a real sweetheart. ↑ |
| Name: Sarah M | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 6:34 PM |
| Heck i was calling my baby "the baby" when i first found out cause whether I lost it or not it was still my baby. I wouldnt worry that just means you love your baby ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 7:43 PM |
| I don't think that you're too attached at all Nicole. Some women have to acclimate to the idea of having a new life inside of them, while others embrace preganancy to it's fullest. I think it's awesome that you already are being selfless when it comes to your child. Technically it isn't a fetus yet, but depending on your beliefs it already has a soul and a life's plan. I've read some of your other posts and of course you're excited about the baby. You have tried so hard. I'm so scared to get attached in fear of losing it, but that's how I am about everything. I keep my expectations low so I won't be disappointed, but you're outlook is much healthier. Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: babey_g_311 | Date: Jul 20th, 2006 6:52 AM |
| I dont think you can be too attached....Im 11 weeks pregnant and right from the moment I found out I was pregnant if I lost it I would lose it...but the bond grows even stronger every week...Id be seriously depressed if anything happened to my baby now I allready love it. ↑ |
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