I really don't know what I should do. I told my family on the weekend that i'm pregnant. about 7 1/2weeks now. My mom at first was supportive, giving me advice and wanted me to tell other family the next day. Then the next day she tells me that she thinks that my boyfriend isn't going to stick around if I do have this baby, and she thinks its best (even though she thinks abortion is wrong) for me to have an abortion.
I told my guy that and he said that he agrees with her! At first he thought of abortion but told me that whatever I decided, he would be there to support me 100% of the way. He'd even started thinking about getting the child interested in metal music like him when they were old enough, and told me he wanted to tell his brother and his mom. Now he's completely against it.
I really don't know what to do. I thought I could just give in and force myself to go with their wishes and even started to set up and appointment. I don't think I can go through with it. I feel its the wrong thing to do.
I asked my mom the other day if she would come with me to get it done and she said she would, I don't think I'm going. Yesterday she wanted me to call her to let her know how I was doing because I was so upset. She was the one who started crying on the phone because SHE was upset about the situation! I asked her "how do you think I feel?". She had to let me go because she was too upset to talk. Now I think that she doesn't want me to do this either. I feel so alone and confused I don't know what to do. I need HELP ↓ ↓
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| Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 8:47 PM |
No abortion is NOT best if you dont want it !! Dont EVER let anyone pressure you to get an abortion because chances are you will live the rest of your life regretting.... its YOU that is going to carry this baby, and its YOU that is going to give birth to and look after your baby... so YOU should decide... dont let anyone else do it for you.
Its easy for any man to say to get an abortion... but you will probably resent him in the long run for making you do that and then you will be left with NO man.. and NO baby.
of couse your mum is upset to begin with.... but once she holds her beautiful grandson / granddaughter she will love them to bits !!
If you CANNOT go through with this abortion.. then i am begging you DONT do it.
Listen to your heart.. thats all i can say.
Goodluck. ↑ |
| Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 8:50 PM |
| Another thing... my man at the time also pressured me to abort... and my whole pregnancy he was an asshole to me about my pregnancy etc... WELL i DIDNT listen to him, and i DIDNT abort my daughter... and when i look at my daughter now i am so bloody glad.... i look at all the things in her i would have missed out on if i had listened to everyone else. Im now a single mum because i gave my daughters dad the flick... i couldnt be with someone that wanted our baby to be aborted. ↑ |
| Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 8:50 PM |
| AND I COULDNT BE HAPPIER !!!! =) ↑ |
| Name: confusedmum2b | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 9:33 PM |
| That's what I've been trying to tell everyone. The father started out not being too thrilled but was prepared to see it through, now he's wanting out. Its really hurtful because it's not like I planned this to happen. And right from the start I told him that I thought I was pro choice, but now that I have to choose, I can't do it. This is my first time being pregnant and all I could think of when I had my results confirmed by the doctor was "is it a girl or a boy?". There's no way I can go through with it knowing I could have had a beautiful little baby in my arms in 7 months or so. And there are the health issues that can arise from the whole abortion process, and the possibility of infertility. I don't think they understand that if i abort, I may never be able to have a child and will always ALWAYS wonder what would have happened if.... I just don't know how I'm going to tell my boyfriend that , even though he says its the smarter thing to do, and wait til we're prepared, I can't go through with an abortion. ↑ |
| Name: ..RoSey.. | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 10:10 PM |
Just tell him.... i know its hard but you needa stand your ground... this baby is your own flesh and blood .. he is not, guys come and go... babies dont !! babies stay forever.
It takes 2 to tango.... you didnt get on top of yourself... your man seems to think abortion is the easy way out.. well it is NOT the easy way out.. woman suffer so much more after abortions mentally and physically its not just a quick solution...
and yes you could be holding a beautiful baby in your arms in 7 months time !! and you should be excited about it !!! The day my daughter was born was by far the best day of my life and i wouldnt change a thing.
Dont worry what other people think.... only worry about YOURSELF and what YOUR heart is telling you. You are so lucky to be pregnant, alot of woman cant even get pregnant.
Honeslty tho.. if you went for an abortion please make sure its because YOU wanted it and not someone else... its so easy to get talked into an abortion from the man you love.... but if he loved you back then he would NEVER EVER pressure you into something like this... he would leave the choice upto you and support you either way. ↑ |
| Name: confusedmum2b | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 10:36 PM |
| I'm going to try and tell him tonight when he gets off work. Its not like I havent considered his suggestion. I've thought and cried over it for days. He know that. I'm going to tell him that evn though he thinks its the "smart" thing to do, I can't bring myself to do it. I'll tell him to look at how depressed I was just thinking about it. I'll obviously be even worse than that if I was to go through with it. I don't want to sound like I'm forcing fatherhood onto him but he was involved too. I would love it if he would be there for me through this but if I have to do it alone, I'll still feel better than I would having an abortion. I just hope that he at least understands or tries to understand where I'm coming from. ↑ |
| Name: red87 | Date: Nov 20th, 2008 3:45 AM |
I agree 100% with what Rosey has told you.
I am a single mom - and of course it is tough at times but it is sooo worth it. I love my daughter more than anything in this world!
Another thing you could take into consideration is adoption. I mean - if you don't think you are able to care for the baby. But otherwise don't do something your not 100% sure of...You will be kicking yourself for it for the rest of your life. ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Nov 20th, 2008 4:08 AM |
| Its your decision! yes you made that baby together, but you have to do every thing like rosey said you will have to live with that for the rest of your life ↑ |
| Name: Joeys_Mam | Date: Nov 20th, 2008 4:11 PM |
| If you want an abortion go for it, but do not have an abortion because your mother wants you to, or your boyfriend does. It's your decision, not theirs. Never do anything permanent unless you are 100% sure it's what you want, or else you'll spend the rest of your days regretting it. ↑ |
| Name: confusedmum2b | Date: Nov 26th, 2008 12:18 PM |
Thanks for all of your input you guys. It only reinforced what I already was thinking about the situation. I still don't think that I could bring myself to get an abortion so I guess I should start getting ready for baby.
I also started talking to my boyfriend's mom to see what she thought, she agrees that even though he wants me to terminate the pregnancy, it's my choice and I'm the one who will have to live with it. I'm glad she feels that way because I feel I have someone in my corner now. She even reassured me that I'm not going to be alone through this. I certainly hope she's right, but I'm feeling so much better now that I don't feel I'm being forced to kill my baby.
I just hope that morning sickness etc gets better after the third month like people say it does. ↑ |
| Name: Tiffanyjim | Date: Dec 27th, 2008 4:46 AM |
| HI, my name is Tiffany and my husband names is Jim. We have been looking to adopt, if their is anyone that would like to talk to us our email [email protected]. ↑ |
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