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hey you guys. its me heather. well, i have good news but i also have bad news. i am 18 years old and 4 months pregnant. i am happy to announce that i got into college this year. my classes start in october. but my bf says that its too much for us at this point. i dont even have anything going on. i dont work yet, hopefully i get the job that im getting interviewed for tomorrow. i think this is the perfect chance to do something. my bf is my biggest support right now and hes making me feel so low. im trying to better myself before and after the baby. hes worried about financial situations but we dont really have any. we live with his grandparents and we dont pay bills except for our own..car insurance, phone..etc..i dont know what to think. i thought that i was doing this to better myself and do something with my life for the baby to have a better future but it seems everyones against it for their own reason..whats so wrong with me wanting to go to college right now? ↓
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| Name: Rachel | Date: Sep 14th, 2005 5:25 PM |
| Hey heather that's great you got into college. I would hope your bf would understand how much it means to you to go. It sounds to me like a great opportunity for ya. Stay strong honey and i'm sure all will work out for the best. ↑ |
| Name: amena | Date: Sep 14th, 2005 5:33 PM |
wow, I would give anything to have the means to go to college. I would say that is my biggest regret about having my son and my soon to be child so close together is that we haven't quite figured out how to go back to school. You are really fortunate to atleast be able to get started now, it really is now or never sometimes. Just try reasoning with him, and if you have to compromise then do it.Good luck, and congratulations on getting into college.
amena ↑ |
| Name: Beverly | Date: Sep 14th, 2005 7:20 PM |
| Talk to your boyfriend... tell him exactly how you feel just like you explained to us in this post. Your education is VERY important. I would give anything to go back and get my highschool diploma and your in college a lot of people dont get that far. So take advantage of your intelligence and get as far as you can. If your happy where your at, thats all that matters and hopefully your bf will see things that way to. If you think what you are doing is the right thing then chances are that your right where you need to be. It might be stressful but you've gotten this far to make it into college you can do anything as long as you put your mind to it. Maybe your bf feels as if its going to be to much for you. If you think you can handle it let him know.. Good Luck!! ↑ |
| Name: TRINNI | Date: Sep 14th, 2005 10:32 PM |
| HEATHER GIRLFRIEND LET ME TELL YOU....."GO FOR IT" BELIEVE ME FROM EXPERIENCE.....I LISTENED TO OTHERS AND DIDN'T GO, AND IT HAS BEEN 11 YEARS. THERE NEVER GOES A DAY BY WHEN I DON'T THINK I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I WOULD HAVE WENT. I AM TELLING YOU THIS SO YOU WON'T EVER HAVE TO GOLD THIS BURDEN OVER YOUR HEAD OR RESENT YOUR BOYFRIEND.....TRY YOUR BEST TO GO, IF YOU GET THERE AND THINGS HAPPEN AND YOU CAN'T FINISH...WELL AT LEAST YOU STAARTED OR TRIED. THE BF TALKIN ABOUT FINANCIAL PROBLEMS...WELL YOU CAN GO TO COLLEGE WITH FINANCIAL AID, AND "THIS IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR FAMILY FOR FINANCIAL REASONS...LOL.....IF YOU NEED SOME ONE TO SUPPORT YOU ON WHAT EVER DECISION YOU MAKE...HOLLA BACK AT ME......TRINNI ↑ |
| Name: Toshia | Date: Sep 14th, 2005 11:18 PM |
| It's not your boyfriends choice. College is something that will affect you for the rest of your life in a positive manner. There is no time like the present. This is something you do not want to compromise on. I am 31 years old and telling you this from experience. Men will come and go but an education is for a life time. You may love this man and think you are going to be together for ever but there are no guarentees. People die, people get divorced but nobody can take an education away from you. If you start making compromises like this so early in life you will resent him for it. The longer you wait the harder it will be and the more the bills will pile up and the more you'll find excuses not to go. A lot of local colleges also offer at home classes over the computer. I don't want to sound harsh but you should never let anyone talk you out of bettering yourself. You are an independent woman with or without a man. I will be your biggest support system need be. I promise you will not regret doing this for yourself. ↑ |
| Name: Sara D. | Date: Sep 14th, 2005 11:35 PM |
| Heather---What kind of schooling do you want to do? I only ask because if you are 4 months pregnant then in another 4 months you are going to want to stop going to school for a little while to recover from baby and be with baby for a little while? Only if for a little while. I was wondering if that is why boyfriend doesn't want you to start it now, knowing that in a couple of months you are going to be taking time off? Not trying to defend him, but--is that what he is worries about? Does he not want you to go at all, or just want you to wait until after the baby is here? ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Sep 15th, 2005 3:23 AM |
| thank you RACHEL, i need that self confidence back a little..=D no no no AMENA!!! its not now or never. things are tough but you cant hold your head low because of that. im taking a class for medical assisting. its 3 months at a time...you can take off 3 months if you needed to and then go back and its really easy to get financial aid. college seems expensive and not everyone qualifies for grants but you cant depend on them anyway. im going to be paying maybe 105 maximum every month. colleges really try to help you out anyway they can because it benefits the both of you. theres not only Universities and those kind of things there are also the colleges that you go to year round, take off a term if you need to, they just freeze all you information till you come back, and they are not as long but can still make you decent money. trust me i know what you talking about. when i found out that i was pregnant, god forgive me, but i didnt think i wanted this baby, simply because i thought it had ruined the chance for me to become a physical therapist..and maybe ill never be one but as long as i get to work with people in the medical feild, its fine with me. this baby is a blessing and you have to work around what god has given us but you cant give up because where are you going to be in 5 or 10 years? you dont want to be working at whataburger for the rest of you life. better yourself for the future of you and your child. you can take a one year course at the college and trust me..like i said, they work with you. BEVERLY..i talked to my college rep about my bf and you sound exactly right. She said that sometimes guys get scared because their gf is doing better and wanting to do something and doing something about it...my mother didnt graduate from high school either but she went back and got her GED and then went to LVN school at the hospital supported by the colleges and im pretty sure if she has 6 kids and is out of school for a long time and still managed to do it...so can anyone. keep your head up. TRINNI..hey, thak you too for your support, my rep. kept asking me what did i think i would benefit from going to college and all i could think of was finances..lol... everything would be so much easier and thats why i need my bf there. i took the acceptence test today and past it with one of the highest scores they had seen so that makes me feel really good too. Toshia..thats so right...education is the only thing that will make me feel like i have gotten somewhere and i have done something with my life and thats the whole reason i want to go. i want a better future to look foward to and plus my dad had passed away and i remember him always telling me to go to college because he didnt and he had to work so hard for his money. i dont want to be like that and i want to show everyone that doubted me that i can do something and just because im having a baby doesnt stop me. my baby also deserves a better life. i want my bf/fiance to always be there too but i just want his support also. SARA D....hey chica, im going to a private one year school. my rep has already told me that i can take off for a term but i dont think im going to do that. i have seen women that have their babies and recover for a few days and go back and catch up on notes and stuff from their class mates. thats only if the pregnancy goes well though. if not ill take off a term. im actaully 18 weeks pregnant...thought i was 16...but i havent seen the doctor , i went today but the lady told me she must have deleted my appointment so i have to go back. i think hes just worried because HE has all these finances...he still has a lawyer to pay off and the other day at the college he had to pay my $100 application and acceptance fee. i think hes just stressed because he feels like everything is on him. he wont feel like that for long because i HAVE to get a job, even if i wasnt going to college i hate depending only on him. i didnt used to have to only depend on him until august and thats when i didnt have anymore money in my account. but we'll get through it..thank you guys alot. ↑ |
| Name: SANDIMARION | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 4:41 AM |
| WRITE ME BACK AT [email protected] THINK YOU VERY MUCH AND YOU CAN EMAIL ME ABOUT ANYTHINK IF YOU WANT ↑ |
| Name: To: SANDIMARION | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 4:55 AM |
| Why do you want to still her baby. ↑ |
| Name: lonely | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 9:10 AM |
theres nothing wrong, u r doing the right thing for urself and ur kid, and even your bf. i know how stubburn men can be sometimes, but when he realises ur decision is final he should change his mind, try talking to him about it in a friendly way. u r veryu strong person so be proud of urself.
all the best. ↑ |
| Name: STAY IN SCHOOL!!!!! | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 2:14 PM |
Higher education is extremely important, and while you're pregnant just take TWO courses at a time. Don't take more than two since (1) you are new to it and (2) carrying the baby will drain some of your energy.
After you have the baby you need to try to go into a transitional home for single mothers because you don't need to get accustomed to the abuse of your boyfriend, nor do you want to have to depend on him and his grandmother. If you can't get into a home for single mothers can't you go live with your parents or other close relatives?
I don't know what you consider bad news (you mentioned bad news in your post), but I wish you the best in school and with your blessed baby.
I love school, and I'm not quitting until I get my Ph.D. I am carrying my baby, but I decided not to take more than two when we return in January. My first trimester caused me to sleep a lot, and this last trimester might be a little trying, so I feel it is in my best interest to stick with two courses (until my angel is born). ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 5:18 PM |
TO: stay in school
are you serious? you think that im going to go to a girls home and that my bf is abusive? i love my bf to death and we dont fight, i wrote this post a while back, so just to let you know, ive already finished my first term. My bf is a wonderful guy, he just worries about our finances, this is his first child and hes nervous. we got way past that situation already. But im shocked that you would tell someone to go to a girls home. I am very mature and i have my head on straight. his grandmother loves me and its not like we dont help her out. Shes not that old to where people "use" their grandparents. I would never use her. His grandmother is basically his mother. My mother and the rest of the family are very supportive of us and what we do. I dont think that i need to go off and live by myself right now. ecspecially since im HAPPY....some women like to be pampered. I do my share...his grandmother left the country for a few months anyhow so its not like im using her, shes not even here. My man treats me like a women and i depend on him as much as he depends on me. Im not broke and i cook, clean and EVERYTHING else that comes my way. i love it and im happy. i appreciate your comment but im upset that you would tell someone to leave their "family" alone. This is my family. We are happy, we have a baby and everyone else approves. My other relatives have their own families too..thats part of life. Im glad that your in school, Im continuing also. ↑ |
| Name: Sara D. | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 6:17 PM |
Heather---I am glad to hear that things are working out for you! Do you know how long you are planning on taking off of school after the baby? I am very proud that you have this ambition to do all of this! There are NOT alot of people out there such as yourself! I wish you and your boyfriend all the luck in the world! When things start to get REALLY hard after the baby is born--You keep up this strengh!
Best Wishes!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Response to Heather's response | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 8:41 PM |
FROM YOUR ORIGINAL POST
i think this is the perfect chance to do something. my bf is my biggest support right now and hes making me feel so low. im trying to better myself before and after the baby. hes worried about financial situations but we dont really have any. we live with his grandparents and we dont pay bills except for our own..car insurance, phone..etc..i dont know what to think.
___________________
______________________
I
am the person who titled my post "Stay In School".
Now, why are you getting offended by what I suggested when you are the one who said "my boyfriend is making me feel so low". I simply read your post and gave you my suggestions. Furthermore, I never suggested that you go into a girl's home (because I assumed you were an adult). What I recommened was a transitional home (which is a home for single women, and the counselors will soon help you transition from that home into a home of your own--for you and the baby).
Some of you people are TOO sensitive. If you are going to ask for advice from strangers then be sure to write what you mean instead of sending the wrong messages. Finally, you mentioned staying with his grandparents (as if you were not happy there), so how was I supposed to know you consider them YOUR family?
Like I said, some of you are far too sensitive. ↑ |
| Name: mira | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 9:10 PM |
| 3 days and nothing come up are i am pregnant maybe ↑ |
| Name: Mary | Date: Dec 26th, 2005 9:11 PM |
To Mira
Please interpret?????? ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Dec 27th, 2005 6:23 PM |
thank you Sara D. well, i didnt want to take off of school at all, i was thinking about going back a week after i had the baby but i want to breastfeed so i dont think thats going to work..haha. i wanted to start back in jan. but they told me that if i started in jan. and then for some reason couldnt come back a week after then it would mess up my finances and loans. I dont want something to go wrong where i couldnt go back and plus i dont think i would be emotionally, physically or mentally ready, you know? i have to take a&p and thats supposed to be one of the hardest classes, not sure i could do that a week after. i want to bond with my baby anyhow so i think they said the term after starts in march. I think thats when im going to go back. if my baby is ful term he'll be 5 weeks by then but if he comes at 38 weeks (hopefully) then hell be 7 weeks!! ah, i cant wait! i want my little man out! but healthy...haha.
to stay in school...are you married or have a bf? when someone doesnt support what you do...even if its a simple thing like spending money or buying something for yourself that wasnt necessary, wouldnt it make you feel bad? i mean, ok, maybe the word low wasnt right, but it did bring my spirits down. im used to getting what i want...that might be why im happy..haha.. no, but seriously, my grandmother and them didnt believe in me when i got pregnant so they werent alot of support at all. my mom wanted me to but my brother which is the oldest didnt so i dont know what she was thinking, so i pretty much had to show them that this is what i wanted. My bf was there through the whole thing and at the last minute he starts getting nervous and didnt know what to do. Theres alot of things that go through a young couples minds though when things like this happen. my bf is only 19 and he works his azz off bcuz he doesnt want to go to college until i finish and our son has part of the WORLD we want for him but then again, he sort of feels like he doesnt amount to me because ill be the support system making the money before he does...he doesnt realize hes the one who got me here..i guess when he feels bad it makes me sad that he cant see what hes doing for us. i guess his mixed feelings brought us down. we've already talked about this though..this thread was a little old. he knows now that without him, i cant do this either.
btw, can i have your real name please..haha... ↑ |
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