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My husband recently said it was ok for us to start trying to get pregnant when he gets back from basic training and so we were talking about it today and he told me that he just told me that to shut me up. That he wasn't ready for kids. He said that if I wanted kids with him I would just have to wait until he was ready. It kills me cause I'm so ready for children. I get so upset when he tells me he's not ready. And the fact that he would toy with my emotions really bothers me. I'm hoping that when he comes back from basic he'll decide he's ready again and be serious about. i got so happy and started planning it and figuring out when I would ovulate and talked to him about and he just let me go on and on about it. I'm so devastated.. I know the time will come but It's so hard waiting. ↓
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| Name: SenseOfPoise_n_rationality | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 1:51 AM |
| Well maybe if you talk to him and really tell him how you feel. . he may understand more! I know im not a person to be talking (16 and engaged) but i know if i just talk to him he always understands better! We are having a little boy in oct. So best of luck to you. ↑ |
| Name: youngwife | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 1:59 AM |
| Well I'm only 17. I've explained to him how I feel and he says I don't care what he wants. Wow your pregnant. Did he want a baby your finace. That's awsome I really wish I was pregnant. There nothing I want more than to be pregnant with his child. Our 1 year anniversary is next month. I kinda get jealous of girls who are pregnant. I know that's wrong but I really want a child I'm praying that I accidently got pregnant this cycle he didn't nut in me so I'm relying on pre cum. Everytime we talk about I get so upset he knows how I feel he says no cause he's not ready he keeps putting it off. How old is your fiance. My husband is almost 24 and I'll be 17 this month. Well I guess whenever he gets ready thats when it will happen unless i got pregnant this cycle. I've even gone to the extreme of wiping his nut off of me and inserting it myself. So just maybe I'll get pregnant. ill know the end of thismonth I know it wil be more enjoable for the both of us if were both ready but it breaks my heart cause I'm ready now. ↑ |
| Name: SenseOfPoise_n_rationality | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 2:06 AM |
| Yea i am pregnant my fiance is 18! We are going to get married really soon at a court house! But yea he was fine with me being pregnant! If i were you i dont know what i would do. Love is a very weird and strong feeling! And sometimes you just have to wait. . . he will change his mind because he is getting older! Hopefully huh?! ↑ |
| Name: youngwife | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 2:08 AM |
| Well hopefully once he sees the money we wil have coming in and gets away from his nieces which drive him crazy he will be ready. I know when the days comes it will be great but waiting is hard. I really hope that day comes very very soon. What does your fiance do? Obviously my husband is military. I can't wait to be pregnant. ↑ |
| Name: SenseOfPoise_n_rationality | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 2:15 AM |
| He lays block, and makes $14 an hour. . i dont have a job! Some guys are different than others! He is very understanding. He makes the money, and i clean and do laundry. . we live with my mom . . We only have for a week and we wont be here long! Just till we are on are feet! WE did live in a motel for 3 weeks. But it was to expensive!! ↑ |
| Name: youngwife | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 2:36 AM |
| Wow. Me and my husband lived with my mom the whole time we were dating and part of out marriage. Then we lived with his mom for 3 months but now we have our own place. ↑ |
| Name: SenseOfPoise_n_rationality | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 4:38 AM |
| Omg i cant wait till we have our own home, trailer, apartment w/e i just love being alone with him!! And then we can really start are family! ↑ |
| Name: youngwife | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 2:18 PM |
| Yeah It's a wonderful feeling. It's taken us a while but it's finally happening he's finally getting into the Air Force and getting our lives moving. We've been toghter for about 2 and a half years. I never though an older man would ever be interested in me but he was. We have a two bedroom apartment it's nice but not extremely nice. What state do you live in. ↑ |
| Name: Petrona | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 2:38 PM |
| youngwife: whatever you do, do not get "accidentally" pregnant. It will not improve your relationship and I can't even begin to tell you how much your husband will resent you and possibly the child you would be carrying. He's probably feeling the pressure of starting something new and doesn't need anything else to distract him right now. Please, believe me that it's for the best that you wait until you're both ready. ↑ |
| Name: youngwife | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 3:09 PM |
| I know that. I've stopped talking about it. He's so stressed with joing the military that I decided to just let it go. The time will come when hes ready it will be more enjoyable for the both of us. If I did get pregnant this month its because we decided to go off bc so i would have a period. ↑ |
| Name: SenseOfPoise_n_rationality | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 7:08 PM |
| Well i live down south in florida! So everything is so expensive like first, last, security! ↑ |
| Name: cinner29 | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 9:40 PM |
youngwife, it sounds like you are doing more then just going off of bc. It is really important in all marriages to respect your partner. If he isn't ready to be a father then you must give him some time. The 2 of you have made a lifelong comittment to each other so take some time and wait for the time to be right for both of you. Having a child changes everything. Enjoy your marriage and your husband(you have only been married a year) and when the time is right you will both know.
I do feel bad for you that he changed his mind. It must be harder now that you were looking forward to it. His indecision is more then likely just a sign that he isn't ready yet. ↑ |
| Name: boobahkish05 | Date: Jul 9th, 2006 4:10 AM |
| if you want kids so bad get pregnant , your married it's your body. I'm sorry but no one is ever really ready for kids , well, maybe the older weman and men that are in there late 40's. ↑ |
| Name: Petrona | Date: Jul 9th, 2006 4:25 AM |
To boobahkish05:
Before you go about giving advice that could potentially ruin someone's marriage, I suggest you read this link:http://www.babycenter.com/dilemm
a/pregnancy/pregnancysex/1149609.html
. It wouldn't hurt for you to look at this too, youngwife. ↑ |
| Name: zasamich | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 3:56 PM |
Having a baby is like a nuclear missile launch where both people have to turn the key at the same time. You both have to be ready, there's no going back, and it changes everything.
I'm sorry he lied to you, that was wrong. But it really is important to wait until you're both ready. You have so much time ahead of you (I know that's irritating to hear, but true). Pregancy and kids don't make a marriage easier. So give yours time to develop and strengthen. Enjoy silly things like going to the movies without a babysitter, sleeping in on weekends...the babies will come in time. :) ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Jul 11th, 2006 5:27 PM |
| Well that was a really nasty thing that he did you need to both sit down and talk things through. ↑ |
| Name: mystystar | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 12:44 AM |
That is very disrespectful. I believe it should be a "joint" decision and you should come to a compromise. Its not your way or his way... its "both of your ways". *sigh*
Just remember that men carry a stupid gene. =D ↑ |
| Name: daisyusa | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 2:21 AM |
| youngwife, I'm assuming you got married at 16 and dated for a few ???? before that. Your husband is 24, an adult, you are 16 and still in high school. I don't understand how your parents let the 2 of you live together in their house. Isn't that statutory rape? I'm sure you're mature for your age, but what does a man who is past college age see in a little girl? That would never be alowed in my house, the police would be called and charges filed. I would certainly wait on getting pregnant. I just don't know what else to say. I feel awful writing this, but doesn't anyone see how wrong this is? I read that another reader is 16 and engaged, you girls are just so young. I really do wish all the best for you. Marriage isn't easy at any age. And please forgive me if I have come across as being rude, I don't wish to be. Please, all of you, take care of yourselves. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 1:15 PM |
daisyusa,
it's no use. I have attempted to write to youngwife as well, but she's a naive young girl who thinks that she knows it all. The sad thing is, is that she receives support for her decision here. I don't condone her actions at all that's why I haven't written b/c it makes me sooo sad, but when I saw your post I thought that I'd reply. ↑ |
| Name: sally24 | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 5:50 PM |
Well he shouldn't toy with you like that you should tell him hey I understand if you are not ready for a child but you have to understand I am and it hurts me when you say things like that.
Second men truly will never be ready my husband wanted children with me from the moment we got together but when he was ready three months after we got married unexpecdetly we found ourselves pregnant and he wanted an abortion I looked at him as if he was crazy and said that was not ok , after a few days he realized what an ass he was and know hes very excited about this baby , baby's are not always planned , if he is having sex with you he better be prepared for anything , other than that tell him you would like a time frame or something. ↑ |
| Name: babey_g_311 | Date: Aug 4th, 2006 7:16 AM |
| I think that pregnancy has to be a double agreement....in the past year or so thered be times whered my hubby would be like lets have a kid and id say no, and vice versa until one day we both just kinda said yes, than I said lets think about this for a month and if we're both in agreement we'll go ahead....I wouldnt be able to keep the secret that I had intentionally tricked him into getting me preggers, plus if he doesnt think hes ready than its going to strain your marriage, alot......best of luck ↑ |
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