Okay gal's
Do I have the right to tell my in-laws that I don't want to go to a family reunion with a 1 month old?
I'm due a few weeks before the reunion and they are a little insistant that I go so I can show off my little less than one month old,. It's going to be out side, if it was inside I may feel a little diffrently but with all those odd relitives and germs I'm not so sure. My husband is going to be gone for the national gurad that weekend and I just figured I'd stay at home, but they want out litlle one there. I feel bad but I'm really not in the mood. Any advice? support?
Thanks
Faith ↓
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| Name: cinner29 | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 10:12 PM |
Is the reunion near your home or do you have to make travel arrangements? Do your inlaws live near you? If it is close to where you live you might tell your inlaws that you will "wait and see" how you feel on the day. There are so many adjustments once the baby arrives that it is often difficult to know how each day will go. Whenever I made plans with people I used to always say that I would try and make it but if I couldn't then I would call them first thing in the morning and let them know. Most people understood since this was my first baby and there is always a settling in period.
It sounds like your inlaws are eager to show off the familiy's newest additon, which is wonderful but the enviroment must be right for you and your baby. It might be nice to take a whole bunch of photos of them, you and your husband, and your baby and put them into a really nice photo album as a surprise so that they can take that to the reunion and show off the little one. Hopefully they will understand that you are only doing what you feel is best for your little one and will support you in your decision. ↑ |
| Name: Faith | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 10:25 PM |
cinner29
It's not it's like a 2-3 hour drive and they are extened. My in laws cousins that they grew up with. But I totally love the idea of sending a bunch of pic, that would probably make them feel better and settle things down a bit. Thanks so much.
It just seemed really difficult to try and take my 2 year old daughter and my new born son. While my husband can't be there. I got to thinking if he was going to be there it wouldn't be to bad, but I'd rather not.
Thanks so much
Faith ↑ |
| Name: Fiona | Date: Jul 5th, 2006 2:59 PM |
In laws should be stopped from taking over! You will probably be tired from doing the nightfeeds and still recovering from the birth anyway. The first few weeks with a new baby are very busy and tend to be home-based - you're not going to feel like going out.
Send them some photos. You call the shots. Don't give in to any demands that you feel you can't meet or you'll end up by feeling more resentment. ↑ |
| Name: Sarah M | Date: Jul 5th, 2006 5:16 PM |
| If they want to see your lil baby they can see it when its right for you not for them. I know I wouldnt want a new born around that many people that early thats just to much. I would tell them sorry that they will have to all see him/her a diff time ↑ |
| Name: lbarnwell | Date: Jul 5th, 2006 10:14 PM |
| Follow your gut feeling. If you don't want your little one exposed than tell them you can't make it. You need to take that time to bond with your new little one. It will be better and less germs and worrying about stuff. Stay home and enjoy your time with your little one! ↑ |
| Name: Stacy | Date: Jul 5th, 2006 10:29 PM |
Faith,
You have the right to tell your in-laws "NO, We will not be able to attend the reunion". If your in-laws push the issue, tell them you'll be more then happy to send photo's of your new little one to the reunion. Your husband should also tell his parents, that he doesn't feel comfortable with you attending the reunion without him, & that he would prefer it if you stayed "safe" at home with the baby.
Good luck!! I know how bad in-laws can be. ↑ |
| Name: Stacy | Date: Jul 5th, 2006 10:30 PM |
Fiona,
Your advice is perfect!!! ↑ |
| Name: Angela1 | Date: Jul 5th, 2006 10:38 PM |
| Yeah I wouldnt think it would be that good of an idea. You dont want your baby outside that long. It would also be different if you had a camp trailer. But if it would be difficult to get your baby indoors and away from the excitment then I wouldnt want to take my newborn. Maybe you could ask your husband to talk to them and convince them to understand that it isnt that you dont want to go but it would be to difficult with your new baby without your husband. ↑ |
| Name: Rebecca | Date: Jul 15th, 2006 2:17 AM |
| Its good to interduse them to the cold and flu beacuse it builds up thier antibodies but yah i totally see where yaare coming from and yed u do have a right to say no ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jul 15th, 2006 3:02 AM |
| You absolutely have the right to say no, especially if it something you not comfortable doing. I am also in a dilema myself. I'm going in to have a planned c-section on Jan. 5th and my son's 3rd birthday is on February 13th. I usually have a big birthday party for him, but with a new baby I just don't feel comfortable having so many people around. At the same time I don't want to hurt feeling. ↑ |
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