|
ok i have a myspace page that i keep in touch with people from my home town people that i have known for years. and my husband on the other hand has one but the majority of his friends are skinny women from our area where we live people that he just looks up, and he is always on there talking to them. I guess i'm just feeling a little down and would like some advice on the topic because it is killin' me. i want to start crying right now. i just don't know what to do. ↓
|
|
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 2:45 PM |
| well yeah he does because of the fact that the only time he is on myspace is when i'm sleeping at night. and when i ask him about them he gets all defensive like why am i looking at his stuff. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 2:50 PM |
hello christen
chin up life always has a way of balancing out.
Tell him he doesnt need a stranger from down the road to talk to when your there! Maybe he feels a bit jealous because you have a bigger network of friends than him. Men are like big babies you have to stroke their egos alot ....and when your not patting them on the head and telling them theyre the best thing to ever come into your life they feel threatened and like big babies they retaliate like one ...oh shes talking to such and such ..im not good enough well ill show her....im gonna do the same! only ill make sure that she hates it more ...(hence only women)..next time take him a cup of coffee, sit on the desk or chair next to him and actually look interested in the chat ask questions become involved "And whats Gretel up to today anything interesting?" If he is attention seeking he will get bored with it once he knows it doesnt bother you.
If he is actually making friends it can of course be alot more intricate. If you havent ironed out any kinks in your relationship and do not completely trust your partner 100% Girl-friend is out of the question...we are but women after all. i dont know if im making much sense for you
one thing i can pass on that im sure of, is to always always always talk about your fears to your husband, as your insecurities will fester until there is no coming back. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 2:55 PM |
| well he told me when i was about 5 months pregnant that he wishes he could have done things differently that i was the perfect wife and everything he wanted but he never got to expirence the single adult life. and he was actually talking about leaving me for his own selfish reasons. we got into a huge fight , i would never keep his daughter from him (i'm due in about 3 weeks) but i told him do you really want to miss out on your families life. your little girls first smile laugh words so you can go out and do you own selfish thing? and he said he wanted to start a clean slate and forget about the things that he had done to me in the past as far as cheating on me before we were married and what he had just said to me. thats what scares me because i don't want someone just to be there. i want him to want to be there for me and his child and if he doesn't want me then he needs to leave but still be there for his child. does that make any sense? i'm trying not to be the selfish person here but i don't know what else to do. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 2:56 PM |
| he goes to school at night and doesn't get off until around 10-11 pm and by that time being pregnant i'm usually asleep by the time he gets home. but i did have his password at one point and then he changed it when i asked him about stuff that he would write. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:25 PM |
| anyone else have any suggestions of what i can do? ↑ |
| Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:31 PM |
| Ok christen i read everyones post. and going to speak of my own experiances. I met my husband when i was 13yrs old he was 19, got married when i was 16 he was 21. Yes he cheated before we got married but i thought well if we get married he will change. NOT so I thought ok if we have a baby he will most def come around and change had my daughter when i was 18. Ok not to mention he drank alot and was abusive at times but very verbaly abusive and mentally too. and yes cheated alot. I stay married for the sake of my child and was married together for 10&1/2yrs. We have been separated for 4yrs now he just filed for divorce after he found out i was pregnant which was fine for me. He is now with a lady he met online whom he cheated with. so be careful if he is hiding it and being defensive something is not right. Go with your gut it is most of the time right. in the end i found out that he had cheated with 15 different women during our relationship which only 12 i knew about. Some were people i knew and brought to my house. just saying be careful and if your not happy now it won't get better and don't try and change him cause he don't want to change himself. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:34 PM |
Hey christen just read your later posts and darlin' start packing!!!
he doesnt deserve you and You deserve better!! Staying in a relationship for the sake of your baby is not good for the soul. If you take this route you will be in for a long lonely road...you deserve so much more!!! He already does as he wants without thinking about you. YOu probably are the perfect wife but he is not the perfect husband...and he is out there, go and find him. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:34 PM |
| I don't because I wouldn't begin to know how to make one but my son has one. Actually I'm not that interested in having one of my own anyway.I'm just happy to talk to others on here! :) ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:36 PM |
| I'd nip it in the bud before he decides to take things further and arranges a meeting with these women because it will happen before you know it! ↑ |
| Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:37 PM |
| And christen there is someone out there who will love you and only you and the baby. My borfriend is the sweetest man and cares for my 12yr old very much so. And loves me and only me. I am white my boyfriend is a black man my ex is white and of corse my daughter is but we don't see color at all when we look at one another. when i first talk to my daughter about me seeing someone of another race she was about 8 and she looked at me and said mom its ok "LOVE HAD NO COLOR" I wanted to cry cause i know i taught her something that didn't come from her dad. So no matter what happens it isn't the end of the world and when i left my husband it was worth anything any mount of money could buy my freedom and happiness. good luck with what ever happens. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:38 PM |
| If he doesn't want you snooping then he's clearly got something to hide,take care of it now! ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:38 PM |
| yeah thats what i have been thinking about too. tonight is going to be fun because we are going to have a long talk about things and i'm sure it will get ugly but it has to one way or another i suppose. i just dont' know what to do about it. i am at my witts end with him but its just too hard for me to deal with right now. ↑ |
| Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:38 PM |
| whos to say he hasn't already met some of them. once a cheater always cheater!!! ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:46 PM |
| see the thing about it that sucks is his profile even states that he is married with a little girl on the way. and these women are so freakin' sleazy that that doesn't bother them i guess. and when i asked him about the "new friends" that he added he said that he was telling them about the ultrasound pictures that i have on my profile. ↑ |
| Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:49 PM |
| Girl.....my ex use to take my daughter with him to see some of his women. Some women are just as bad as men and yes the one he is with now was also married. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:49 PM |
| Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:51 PM |
| Name: marija | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:51 PM |
| marlene ...that ex of yours is SAD!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:53 PM |
| Oh and he cheated on me while i was pregnant too that was one the hardest things i had to deal with. Don't waist your time. I was so mad i didn't leave my ex sooner then i did and that i waisted all those years of my life on him being so so so so unhappy. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:53 PM |
| man that is so scary i don't wnat him taking my daughter doing any of that. i'm thinking about going home early from work and be like open your myspace page. and if he is like no then i'm going to be like then get out. because i pay for everything even the damn internet that he chats on! ↑ |
| Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:54 PM |
| That is why is now an EX and he still cheats on this dumb bitch and she knows it too i don't know what the hell it was bout this man that i stayed with him so damn long and she won't leave his ass now she has since told me she was sorry for everything. dumb ass woman!! ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 3:54 PM |
| thank you so much marlene for showing me that there is alot of this kind of things that happen. i'm just scared about the stress it is going to cause me and i only worry about that because of my baby. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 4:08 PM |
| i'm just sick and tired and now my stomach is all in knots i'm think about asking to leave work like now ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 4:20 PM |
| you guys are such a big help i know i came here for some good advice thank you again. i will let you know how it turns out. ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 4:24 PM |
My husband and I both have myspace accounts. The only girls that he has on his friends list are friends that we share. If I do not know them he does not have them on his list.
His line: You never put yourself in a situation where you don't want people to talk or assume there is more going on them what is.
Although I trust my husband completely I would be extrememly upset with him if he started to add girls to his friends list,especially if they were local girls. Because this would completely go against what he believes and would put him a position to have me wonder or assume. Let him know how it makes you feel about the situation. If it's nothing more then innocent conversation your feelings should come before these local strange girls and he should be willing to delete them from his friends list. My friend had emailed me the other day with the same situation, in the end her husband did delete the girls from his myspace friends list. Since you are his wife your feelings should be more important them a bunch of girls that you to are not friends with together.
Another things my husband believes: A guy can not be friends with girls. If the guy has a girlfriend/wife any girls that are friends are friend that they share. At no time will he hang out with any of these female friends without his girlfriend/wife. If he is out it is okay to say hi but not to continue to hang out for the rest of the day or night. Because again if you don't want people to assume that more is going on then what is you don't put youself in a situation where things can be assumed.
Good luck.... ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 13th, 2006 4:38 PM |
| i'll let you girls know what happens but i plan on leaving from work right now so i will talk to you all later. ↑ |
| Name: christen | Date: Oct 16th, 2006 2:53 PM |
| well ladies just a quick update. He opened his myspace for me to see and there were only two messages on there telling him congrats for having a baby. there was nothing in the sent trash or anything so i had to apologize to him for being irrational but i felt much better. and he told me if i were feeling like that again he would just delete the whole account anyways, but still i told him about putting himself in that position for me to even question it. he knows my side so i'm hoping that he backs off from being on it everyday. because these girls out here its not that i dont' trust him but he is a guy and these women are so trashy that they dont care if you are married they have no respect for themselves YUCK! ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Oct 16th, 2006 4:14 PM |
| Good I am glad that you feel better. don't ever feel like you feelings are not valad and express them to him so that they don't make you crazy. It is always worse to imagine what could be happening our minds can be very inventive LOL. ↑ |
|
|
