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went to the doc at like 11am...no fetal heartbeat (can't type without crying)....she said that the baby probably died at 9 weeks...I was 12. So I went to the hospital for the d & c. It was a really sad and scary day. And one of the scariest parts was that I really wasn't having any serious m/c symptoms. But I knew in my heart that something was wrong. I just knew. The tiny bit of blood this morning didn't concern the doc all that much...and I had no pain or anything...but the weirdest thing is that I dreamed I had a m/c last night, and then I woke up to a real one. We're so sad. I don't know what to say. And I'm sorry for those of you who are reading this and getting scared for your babies....but don't be. This was God's will for us, you know... I'm just hoping that we will have our babies one day. Sorry guys, and thanks for all of your help. And thanks for being concerned about me. For some reason, I need that support. I'm so sad. I promised that baby that I would be a good mom. The doctor said that my uterus was carrying the pregnancy beautifully, but the baby itself wasn't ok. I'm so sad. ↓
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| Name: Coartney | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 4:55 AM |
| omg i am so sorry for your loss, i know if i were to experience this i would cry endless days. i truly am sorry this happened to you and your family, but you're right god has a plan for everyone, maybe right now just isnt the time, but you will be blessed and you will be an awesome mother :) ↑ |
| Name: janel86 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:05 AM |
| Im so sorry for the loss. God makes things happen for a reason. Maybe it was better for it to happen now then later. BUT EVERYTHING HAPPINS FOR A REASON Please just remember that. Just lay back and take things easy for the next couple of days it will be hard but you'll come around and say a prayer for the baby , that will always help. God Bless You, and your child. ↑ |
| Name: tylersmom06 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:51 AM |
| Jen.. my heart goes out to you! I am so very sorry! I know I have nothing to say to make you feel any better but I am truely sorry you are having to experience this! You are in my thoughts and prayers! ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:56 AM |
| Its really heartbreaking at first and im so sorry to hear this. I know its stupid but things happen for a reason, and this little life wasnt just ready...I went through the same when i was alot younger 16, and my body wasnt prepared for it. Time will heal the pain...My heart does go out to you xxx ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 6:30 AM |
| I am so sorry Jen. I wish I could come through the computer right now and give you a hug. Everyone here knows that you would have been a good mom. I hold you in my thoughts and my prayers. ↑ |
| Name: cath_edwards | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 7:38 AM |
| im so sorry to hear your news. praying much for you at this time ↑ |
| Name: daisyusa | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 11:17 AM |
| I am so sorry Jen, cry all you need to sweetie, talk to someone, scream, do what you need, but don't keep it in. I promise you it will get a bit easier as time goes by. We gave our baby a name because we couldn't stand to call the baby it. We planted a tree and some flowers and placed a baby cross in our baby's memory. Those things have helped tremendously. We have also been busy trying to conceive again and that too has helped. The one thing that I constantly heard was that this was for the best. Honestly, I hated hearing that. I knew that in my heart and didn't need reminding, just needed support. I'm here if you need to talk, my mc was Aug 4, I still have my moments of crying. God bless [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: melmoney | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 11:40 AM |
| Jen, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't even being to imagine the kind of pain that you are feeling right now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that God will show his reason for this and that you will soon have peace in your heart. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 1:08 PM |
| I am so sorry to hear that jen. I will keep your family in my prayers. I to believe that everything happens for a reason and your time will come when it is right. God bless ↑ |
| Name: Petrona | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 1:33 PM |
| So very sorry for your loss. {{hugs}} and ~strength~ to you and your family. ↑ |
| Name: Christina | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 1:43 PM |
| so sorry for your loss. my condolences. I wish you and your family strength and peace. ↑ |
| Name: emilymccoy | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 2:02 PM |
| Name: Princess8451 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 2:05 PM |
| That is sad, My heart goes out to you and your family. Just know that there are better days ahead. Keep praying. ↑ |
| Name: babygirl2007 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 2:28 PM |
| Jen i am sorry to hear that you had to go through that i cant say i understand what you are going through but i will keep you in my prayers and hope the best for you. ↑ |
| Name: AnnD | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 3:21 PM |
| I am soooo sorry Jen. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. All I can say is that there are so many women who I have known personally to have a miscarriage and go on to carry a healthy baby soon after the miscarriage. Some as soon as a month afterwards. And take comfort in the fact that you know you can carry a heathy baby, that your uterus was doing exactly what it needed to. So, you will have another healthy pregnancy and it wil probably happen much sooner than you think. ↑ |
| Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 3:27 PM |
| Jen your in my prayers. I am so sorry. We are here for you. Nothing we say right now will make your pain go away. Just so that you know we all are feeling some of your pain. God Bless! ↑ |
| Name: Logan | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 3:33 PM |
| Oh God! I am so sorry to hear your loss I know how it feels. I just cannot imagine how our babies can die weeks before and we cannot find out when it first happens instead of carrying the baby weeks later to find out the baby has no heartbeat. I was 6 weeks and did not find out until I was 10 weeks. I was destroyed, it was my first pregnancy to. Hang in there!!! I will be thinking of you. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 4:10 PM |
| I'm so sorry jen..I know that your heart must be broken right now...I will keep you in my prayers sweetie!! ↑ |
| Name: jenp | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:00 PM |
Thank you all so much for your support. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Especially being that I'm so new to this board, and you guys just totally accepted me and have so many helpful things to say. I read each of your responses, and appreciate every single one of them. I will keep praying that our baby will come, and we will do our best. My email is [email protected], if anyone ever wants to talk.
love,
Jen ↑ |
| Name: jennifer early | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:03 PM |
| I feel your pain. I myself had 3 miscarriages, although none were as far along as yours. People will tell you its for the best and you can try again. no one will understand that you wanted "this baby". no one except those who have had a loss like that will understand your grief. If you lost a baby at full term, people would be more understanding but when you are in the first trimester, some people dont see it that way, that whether you were 4 weeks or 8 months, that was your baby that you were excited for, you were anticipating your pregnancy, all the milestones, the preparing, what would the gender be, etc. and it was snatched from you. no one will understand the hormones still in your body that still make you feel pregnant and will make you a complete hormonal mess. no one will understand the constant crying, depression and devistation. they can say they understand but they really cant. just like if someone had a child kidnapped or their husband killed, the only people who would really "get it" are the people who experienced it first hand. people will try to make you feel better by saying things that dont help. they wont understand that weeks and months from now you will be keeping track of how far along you would be, or when you would have found out the sex or had a baby shower, or waiting day by day for you due date to come. that months from now you will still cry at a baby shower invitation that comes to you from a friend or at the sight of a pregnant woman or newborn. it will seem like everyone around you is pregnant but you. I am not trying to be negative, only realistic. a few things did help me though. one, was getting back into trying for another baby. it gave me hope. two. was getting past the due dates. getting to them was torture but passing them eased the pain. third, finally conceiving a successful pregnancy. that really turned my focus around. i found out i was pregnant last year on May 11, and the due date for my first miscarriage which was a tubal in which i lost my philopian tube, was June 14. The days prior to may 11 were hard but things really turned around. yes, it will get better for you, but it will not be right away. dont let people tell you to let it go, or its ok. After my last miscarriage, which was on april 15, i found out i was pregnant again less than 4 weeks later and had a successful pregnancy. my daughter was born in january. for me it helped to try right away. maybe for you it wont. i was told that i would be very fertile in the months following the miscarriage so i wanted to take advantage of that. you were further along than i was so maybe you would have to wait longer to try. trying to get prenant again is not to replace the baby you lost, but to switch your focus from a negative to a positive. trying to get prego again can also be frustrating on those months that you get your period but its worth it. there are women out there who understand what you are feeling. reach out to them. i pray for your health and strength through your diffifcult time. ↑ |
| Name: jenp | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:09 PM |
Jennifer,
I understand the pain you have in your heart, but I am so happy to hear that you have a daughter now! That is such good news! ↑ |
| Name: jennifer early | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:13 PM |
| jen p. Thankyou. I just hope that the things i wrote didnt hurt you or sound negative. i just used to hate how everyone would say, "it will be ok. It happedned for a reason, blah, blah, blah." ↑ |
| Name: jenp | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:23 PM |
Jennifer,
your words don't hurt me in the way you might think, they hurt because they're true and I understand the pain. you (we) are entitled to have certain negative feelings about such a negative experience. but along with that hurt, there is a lot of positive feelings because you did go on to have a successful pregnancy. That gives me hope. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:23 PM |
jen,
here's a website that I thought you might like. It'sa beautiful presentation. I hope you like it. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:24 PM |
| sorry www.ispokewithmychild.com ↑ |
| Name: jenp | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:30 PM |
and btw...."it'll be ok" and "it's better that it happened now" and "things happen for a reason" and all those sayings sort of strike me the wrong way sometimes....even though they might be true. I just try to keep in mind that people don't know what to say and they're just trying to help. I would probably say the same kind of stuff. But it is kind of unbearable to hear that all the time anyway.
I got upset because my dad (who was just trying to help, and is so sad himself) said something like "this hurts you more because you're so sensitive"........that got me upset, so I told him that anyone in my position would hurt really badly, and it's not "me" that is being unreasonably upset. Anyone whose baby died would have to feel this pain. ↑ |
| Name: jennifer early | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 5:34 PM |
| you are right. people dont know what to say. they are trying to be comforting but it is annoying and not very comforting. you just need to know that however you grieve and for however long, that its perfectly fine. ↑ |
| Name: christiansmommy | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 9:29 PM |
| OH, GOD-NO, NO, NO! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO DEEPLY SORRY FOR THIS JENP. EVEN THOUGH I AM STILL GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING, I CANNOT IMAGINE HOW YOU (YOURSELF) FEEL RIGHT NOW. JUST KNOW THAT WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU-EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE CLOSE TO YOU IS. PLEASE, TAKE IT EASY, AND TRY YOUR BEST TO BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL BE PREGNANT AGAIN SOON! YOU ARE NOT ALONG-THERE ARE QUITE A FEW OF US TTC NOW. YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AND IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER-REMEMBER, YOUR SWEET ANGEL IS SMILING DOWN ON YOU FROM UP ABOVE. (HUGS) ↑ |
| Name: jenp | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 11:44 PM |
| christiansmommy - thank you, it helps to know that I'm not alone in this. i wish you all the best luck in the world with your ttc. and don't worry, we all will... hugs ↑ |
| Name: connie | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 11:46 PM |
| SO sorry to about your lose. I hope you will be alright. Best wishes. ↑ |
| Name: mommyagain | Date: Oct 19th, 2006 11:49 PM |
| I am very sorry for your loss too an I am sorry that is really all I can say, I know it doesnt make it better but i am truely sorry. ↑ |
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