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I used to weith 169lbs, a year ago, I have since lost weight by exercise and the right diets, getting down to 145. Then I set a new goal for 130. People say I look great, I felt great. Now, I weigh about 120, an it's because I just don't eat. I will only eat when I am around my bf cuz he will notice I wasn't eating. I skip meals, and when I do have to eat , I get soooo angry. I am miserable. All I can think about is gaining weight. Everything I put in my mouth I feel guilty. I just feel like I am not myslef at all, I feel like because I am so obsessed with food and weight I have no personality anymore. My fingernails feel like paper, and sometimes my hair falls out. Anytime I eat while I am at my job, I iwll go in the bathroom and do sit-ups or jumping jacks to make up for it. As I am writing this, my lips are so dry and cracked cuz I am propbaly dehydrated again. I weigh myself at least 6 times a day, even after I go to the bathroom to see if I lost. What is wrong with me? I never used to be like this, or even care so much about food. I just feel so depressed, and I don't want to tell anybody, partly because I am embarassed. But people are starting to ask me questions, "why haven't I seen you eat in months?" "why do you go to the gym 2 times a day?", and a person at my job told me to stop weighing myself, i llok greta. Thats the thing people keep tellingme I look great, but they have no idea what goes on inside my head. I'm like a prisoner in my own mind. I am only happy when I put on clothes that are a size smaller. Sometimes when I get real hungry, I just brush my teeth and it goes away. That's one of the many things I do to not eat. I have no energy, and if I were my friend, I would bitchslap myself into reality. This is not the way I want to live. I don't even know how I got here, I make fun of girls like this. But no that I know how to lose weight quickly, I know in my heart I wont ever stop. It's like a math problem. God, listen to me.... ↓
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| Name: jennifer early | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 10:30 PM |
| so how did you lose weigh quickly. did you just not eat ↑ |
| Name: bsteegirl420 | Date: Sep 18th, 2006 2:14 PM |
| No, I lost it with a reall healthy diet of protein, follwed by a friend who is a personal trainer. I lost 40 lbs. Now, I can't stop, and all I think about it my weight. I hate it, I just want to be me again ↑ |
| Name: Steph_Happy? | Date: Sep 24th, 2006 2:30 AM |
| Hey hunni, To be honest what I see is a big sign of obbsessive compulsive dissorder which is different with diffferent people now yours is the obsessive habbit of cheeking your weight and obsessive issues with your wieght- I haave ocd but dont have that obsession or comulsion exaclty as u do but simmiler and ive read alot about them - i really think u need to see a doctor to get it sored out hunni to make sure of wot it is so u can be helped u dont have to be ashamed or afraid u can get through it-- email me andIM me anytime-- [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 26th, 2006 5:30 PM |
| Let me tell ya my story. I used to make fun of a couple of girls at school who were really fat! I was a slender 125lbs. and looked great in all my clothes. Anyway,you know that old saying ,(what goes around,comes around?) Well,it sure came around to me all right! I bet I'm twice the size now of those girls I used to make fun of! Now I'm struggling to lose weight and now have high bloodpressure and probably high bloodsugar too,(I'll find that out when i go back to the Dr. again next month)! I won't ever make fun of a heavy person again! In fact I've heard people wisper comments about my weight in public when they thought I couldn't hear them and man did it hurt! I guess I was meant to learn a lesson and believe me I have. Now I have to figure out how to save myself and lose all this weight! ↑ |
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