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Name: Caera

[ Original Post ]

hi. i'm 16 and've had anorexia/bulimia for prolly bout a yr now. i started with severe depression which went away for a while but is plaguing me full force again; i can feel it. i've cut myself before though its not routine and ive had 4 suicide attempts in the last 5 months. my ed's only getting worse to the point now that i just want to escape it by escaping life itself. the pain is too much; my meds arent working, and i actually have a paranoid fear that they will help me to gain more weight. I'm powerless, and i realize i am utterly ALONE (not as in theres no1 else suffering from this cuz that would be damn rite naive but there is ABSOLUTELY NOT A SINGLE SOUL I CAN TALK TO ABOUT THIS) please....i want to die so badly i wish i just had permission to kill myself i'm stuck between not being able to die and not wanting to live everything's so surreal, meaningless; there is no1 in this world i loathe more than my worthless, stupid, fat, socially impaired self.....i dream of the day i can finally kill my self in peace, of perhaps jumping from a cliff which is supposedly the least painful to die or from cianide....i just want to be happy; I WANT TO BE THIN AND FRAIL for if i accomplish that then that will be the only hope i have of proving to myself that i have some control of my pathetic life..... ↓

Name: lovely_thin | Date: Aug 31st, 2007 3:26 AM

i know you feel alone but your not, beleive me. i have depression too and i feel the same way. jsut try to hang on seriously i KNOW it easier said than done but its worth it. ↑

Name: Ashlea 88 | Date: Sep 4th, 2007 2:08 PM

hey email me sweety
[email protected] ↑

Name: Vanny | Date: Sep 27th, 2007 2:30 AM

hi, yeah, its still caera just a different name is all

thank you very much lovely_thin for responding; i am hanging in there, even if its only by a thread. i'm really sry to hear you suffer from it too =[, though then again, most of us anas prolly experience some form of it huh? thanx again =]

hi ashlea 88 thnx for also responding; sry i havent emailed you, im not good with that kind of stuff, also i've just been rly busy and not on the comp. much; i'll email u soon tho ^^ ↑

Name: cherisalorraine | Date: Sep 28th, 2007 1:15 PM

you need to try to get some help from a doctor. i think that you could benefit frrom some meds that would help with you depression and maybe get pointed in the direction of help for your ed ↑

Name: Vanny | Date: Sep 28th, 2007 7:32 PM

i do take meds; i have been for a year ↑