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Name: Pianophillic

[ Original Post ]

I HATE being bulimic.. and i LOVE being bulimic... I hate how it is control of me, wastes my money and makes me lethargic.. but I LOVE eing able to eat normally in public and not having to gain weight like everyone else. I love not having to restrict anymore... but it is ruining me... and t the sametime I feel like i would rather be dead then fat.. and bulimia is like my savior from everything.
Im so torn and becuase of this... i cant recover becuase I dont want to... but I cant progress in life becuase Im sick. ↓

Name: JenCarpeDiem | Date: Jul 21st, 2006 8:17 PM

Sounds to me like you're posting because some part of you wants to stop. Talk to a professional. ↑

Name: Bridge | Date: Jul 24th, 2006 4:15 AM

Try this....Spray your hands with bug spray. Trust me on this one, ONce you attempt to purge, you will extract your fingers right from your mouth! Its also very hard to get the tast off your hands, once you do this you might not be able to purge for a couple meals. So if your looking for a stop then try this and even if only for one day and see how you like it. ↑

Name: Pianophillic | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 2:27 AM

he3y bridge, that is great advice! thanks ↑

Name: sjsmjsr | Date: Jul 27th, 2006 4:22 PM

hmm.....thats a bad situation..i don't know what to say. ↑

Name: davina | Date: Jul 29th, 2006 6:19 AM

you sound exactly like me!! seriously....ive tried to explain myself to my best friend and what uve said is pretty much what i say!! even from ur other posts ive read...... ↑

Name: LivinWithED | Date: Jul 30th, 2006 7:11 PM

i know what you mean. I love being able to eat everything in sight and not gain a pound, but then i hate the feeling that comes along with it. I dont know if i could do the bug spray thing though. It sounds like a good idea though. I've tried painting my nails before because nail polish remover tastes horrible, but i always wait a while and then binge. It seems like this disorder is never ending procrastination. I'm going to eat healthy tomarrow. I'm going to stop eating for the day after this binge. I'm going to stop using laxatives after this box. I hate it and i want to stop. I'm so ashamed of everything that i do. I'm not the same person i used to be. The disorder changed me, and not for the better. ↑