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Guys... Im am the biggest bulimic ever and I am loosing so MUCH money every single day- and here is the worst part.. I know how bad it is... it takes away my brain I am just like floating through life, the days pass by, my teeth suck and I feel like shit all the time BUT.... it feels so good to be able to eat whatever I want and loose weight.. and Im terrified to stop becuase what if I gain a ton of weight? When I was normal weight I couldnt loose weight - I ran all the time and really didnt eat a lot but my body always adapted and kept every single freaking calorie... but now that I just purge everything I eat Ive been able to loose all the weight - and now Im like addicted to it... It must be gross for poeple that are anorexic to think baout stuffing themsevles silly all the time but when you can purge everything out - its easier and more socially accepting becuase people see me with a "hearty appetite- and they never see the purging so they think- WOW, you can eat all that without a worry becuase youre so skinny- I just tell everyone I exercise a lot... Im quitting my therapy appointments becuase I really dont want to stop but im scared my electrolites are going to go bad on me again and Ill have a heart attack... so what do I do- I dont want to stop, I bought all new clothes.. and I like my jeans being small... I feel like an idiot for tampering with my LIFE for a jean size.... but sometimes I feel like I woiuld rather be dead then be obese or be fat..... when I was normla weight I was miserable.. and Im so scared to ever go back.... its not about vanity... I just cant eat without gaining weight.... I fee like my body is stupid... and purging works and I like not having to restrict anymore.. ↓
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