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my life was really great up until about a year and a half ago. i started becoming more and more self concious about my body. i weigh at 99 punds right now and usually if i get past 100 i freak. ive been able in the last few weeks to accept the fact that im bulimic and admit that what i have is a sickness. my best friend makayla knows about me. and thats it. a year ago i was able to tell another friend lauren about it. she was my lab partner in biology and she told me about her problems with anorexia and cutting herself so i thought, hell. why not tell her about me. after about six months of talking to her, i thought i could deal with it. i told her i stopped. i thought i had for a little while. but six onths or so ago. i began doing it again. im not the kind of bulimic who binges, then purges. i sort of just purge. meaning i starve myself to what i can get away with... sometimes telling my mother i ate breakfast s i dont need lunch or skipping lunch at school. actually i always skip lunch at school. or i tel my mom when i get home that i ate too much at lunch to eat dinner. but when she makes me eat, or i have to eat so i dont give myself away, thats when i make myself throw up. today i tried 3 times with my fingers and nothing happened. so i just began doing a lot of excercising and im extremely exhausted. i need advice on how to deal with this. someone help me. i cant even tell my own boyfriend about it withoutth thought of losing him. my best friend currently wont talk to me becuase she tried to show me a bok about self injury and i said there wwas nothing in it about bulimia. so i wanst hurting myself. eventually i promised her i would loko it up but shes stil not talking to me. some one anyone. god. please help me. ↓
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