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Okay I'm just your outcasted, freaky, abnormal, emo child. I am always in black. It's just how i express how I feel. I mean if I'm in a good mood I'll wear "prepy" cloths. It's just my way of expressing my feelings. I try to do that, it worked until they burnt all my black cloths. Then I began cutting. They found out and sent me to "counciling" it just made it worse. I mean i know my family has alot to do with my depression already, I don't need so person i don't even know reminding me of that EVERY week. I just wish they would understand. I stoped cutting for a month. During that month i began writing poems. My parents went through my room, found them, riped them, burnt them, and told me they where NOTHING!! They told me I would never make it as a poet, that all I was and will ever be is a screw up!! How can I get them to understand?? I have tried talking to them but we always end up in a fight and I always end up cutting again?? PLEASE!!! ANY ONE I NEED SOME ADVISE!!!!!!! ↓
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| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 27th, 2007 3:11 PM |
| Your parents may not think much of you but try not to let them get the best of you. You know, who you are and the kind of person you want to become. Certainly, not just like them. However, if this is what they think of you, then you need to rise above what they think. Yes, it's hard having to listen to all the negativity about you but you know in your heart, there is nothing wrong with you....one bit. Keep in mind that they may never agree with anything you do through out your whole life but you are the one, who can be anything you want to be even though they are unwilling to support your efforts. Unfortunately, they can't see that your reaching out to them for help. Perhaps you can try seeking a good close friend you can confide in to discuss exactly how you feel. I, too, we through the ridicule my parents always dished at me. It took me later on in life to realize that no matter how hard I tried to please them, it would never do me any good. They think they are better than me, when no one person is better than anyone else. They may never quit telling you your a good for nothing. Obviously, they have blinders on the their eyes and can't see the real you inside crying out. They only way I got through it was that I convinced myself that one day I won't have to be under their thumb and will be able to do the things I enjoy whether they liked it or not. I convinced myself that no matter what they said to me, I wasn't going to let their words or actions get the best of me. To this day, my parents still think that I'm a good for nothing. But ya know what, it doesn't affect me anymore. I realize that no matter how hard I tried pleasing them, it would't have done me any good because they are just shallow minded people. If it's boundries they set up for you, work around them. I'm not saying to be defiante cause that will only permit them to watch you like a hawk and clamp down harder on you. You have to keep in mind that this is only temporary and there will come a day when your free from all the rules and negativity. My parents always accused me of doing wrong, when I never did anything. All I can suggest to you is....throw yourself into your school work so that you can get the education to be able to move away from them and become successful in your future. If you love to write poems, keep a book at school to write in or try to find a better hiding place in your room that you know they would never find. Keep writing because it sounds like you truly enjoy it. Perhaps they will allow you to go to the library to do research and write there. Maybe you could ask a librarian if you could leave your journal book there because you don't want your parents to destroy it if they see it. If they control what you wear, then just to keep the peace go along with they say. Right now, you feel like a caged bird unable to fly. Your day of spreading your wings will come in due time. I do hope things get better for you. I'm sorry your feeling this way. Believe me, I've been there and done that. As I look back, I'm glad I had the will power to keep going but it was only me that had to work through it. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 27th, 2007 5:33 PM |
I'm sorry that your parents are so misunderstanding of you,(although if my son were cutting I'd be on his ass like no tomorrow!) But if you have given up cutting,(which I hope you have),then they should allow you to write your poems. Are your poems scary? If they are then maybe that's why they got rid of them,(depending on the types of things you've written in them). As for being emo and wearing all black all the time I honestly have to say I wouldn't let my son (who's 15) do it or be it either.In fact he at one time WANTED to go emo style and have his hair cut that way and I flat out told him NO! (He showed me the hairstyle type and I very much disliked it). But he still got his haircut but NOT the emo style he originally wanted,he compromised with me on hairstyles we looked through together until we found one we BOTH agreed on! Kinda his way but something more suitable looking that I approved of! I have a good relationship with my son and I'm thankful for that! Being a parent is tough but the key I think is you have to be willing to love your kids unconditionally and enough to let them express themselves,(to a certain extent anyway),because it's how they grow into their own person! O.k,take for instance my son wanted to play bass guitar in a band that was held in a friend of his dads basement regularly on saturday nights. At first i didn't like the idea at all and thought (I don't think so!) But then I started thinking about it and thought, (ya know,why not let him play???!!!!) I mean the kid gets good grades,he doesn't drink or do drugs,his passion IS playing the bass,(which he taught himself I might add),so I figured why deny him that one night a week pleasure?! So I told him he could do it and he is sooooo happy about it! It's something he enjoys doing and gives him something to look forward to each week! I'm glad I changed my mind and allowed him to do it. Of course I made sure what kind of people there would be haging around because I wouldn't want anyone trying to push anything on my kid,but after that I told him he was free to join them and it just really made his day and he was so thankful!
I know not all parents are (cool) with their kids,hell i don't even know myself why some parents chose to have kids because some clearly don't want the (burden) of them!
I think maybe what you should do (and no it won't kill you!!! Lol) is change your appearance,(wear clothes your parents APPROVE of and make yourself look presentable in their eyes. That is a good start. then you should work on your (attitude) and try to start up some NICE conversations with your parents. It may not be easy but they are your parents and like it or not you are kinda stuck with them so you might as well make an effort to TRY and get along with them! (I know it will hurt at first but in time YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!)The point here is if you get on level ground with your parents,then life in your home will be easier on ALL of you!! And after awhile,you might just figure out YOU LIKE being the NEW YOU and your parents aren't so bad after all either! And as far as you dressing in all black,it's o.k. once in awhile but NOT all the time. I'm sure you are a beautiful girl,and your parents just want to SEE her because they know she is in there somewhere! If my son was in black all the time i wouldn't allow it for one but also I'd wonder why he was so depressed and wonder what was wrong with him. Communication is the way to go my dear. Help your mom with dinner,goof off with her a little,make her smile,and soon you'll be smiling too! It's not that hard! Watch a game with your dad on t.v. (if he's into sports),and really get into it with him,he will be surprised AND happy!!!!! At dinner tell them about your day and don't be glum about it. Open the gateway of communication and you will be surprised as will they! It's not the end of the world,some day you will look back and think (God why didn't i change my ways long before i did!?) And you will feel so silly and glad those days are behind you and that you NOW have the GOOD relationship with your parents that you should!!!! I wish you luck hon! ↑ |
| Name: mystic1306 | Date: Feb 6th, 2007 9:20 PM |
Okay, you're in counseling, now use it to your advantage:
I was in counseling by my parents for a long time, and one thing that I found out is that if you tell your counselor what your parents are saying and doing, if it is a good counselor, he/she will call your parents on it. Also you can tell your counselor what you want to tell your parents and that means anything, if you want to tell them to go f**k themselves you can, but have your counselor with you when you tell them this, that way they can't completely chew you out with out some one on your side. Then have your counselor tell your parents that the discussion is to go no futher than that office. If your parents bring it up at home, do not discuss it, and say something to your counselor about it. Your parents should be at your meetings for at least 5 minutes at the end of the session and that is your time for your counselor to relate what you are feeling and "how it can be fixed".
Good luck, and remember your parents are not who decides who you are, keep your head up and who you are and who you want to be, no one decides that but you ↑ |
| Name: yet_another_tear | Date: Feb 17th, 2007 6:03 PM |
thank you mystic1306 i tried that and i went the f**k off on them and they said something and my counsicler went off on the for that!! lol that was fun lol email me sometime
[email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Sunshine1 | Date: Feb 17th, 2007 8:28 PM |
| Your parents actually tell you that you are a screw up and good for nothing? Good God!! I think everyone should be required to pass a test before they are allowed to have children. ↑ |
| Name: Randi | Date: Feb 18th, 2007 1:54 AM |
| Maybe you should paint your room black. ↑ |
| Name: yet_another_tear | Date: Feb 19th, 2007 3:26 PM |
| amen!! lol yeah ya'lls advise has really helped me!! thanks!! ↑ |
| Name: Spoon | Date: Apr 5th, 2007 1:07 AM |
| lol my parents are the same i just shout back ' THE APPLE DONT FALL FAR FROM THE TREE' then they left arguing between themselves about which one was the rotten egg ↑ |
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