|
my daughter is almost 17 and there is this guy from this store my husband and her go into to get car parts talking to her, my husband was teasing him about it and my husband didnt think it was a serious thing well about a week ago i went into this store with the both of them to see this young guy my daughter had been talking about, he looked like he was 23!! He has a tongue ring.. and tattoos.. its just not the type i thought my daughter went for, I got to talk to this guy a little bit and he's very nice and all I asked him if he was in school and he said no... so i was like oh he said he'd been working at this car place about a year but has worked in construction and laying cement before and it suprised me i figured he'd be in college but he said he wasnt planning on it, so when i got back in the car i started asking my daughter what she knew about him she seems to really like him and he really likes her but then my daughter told me he was 27 years old not 23... She is way too young for a 27 year old and she starts giving me this speech well as long as we dont have sex mom then its not that big a deal.. My daughter has never talked anything about sex with me and it suprised me its like this guy has her brainwashed rinsed and dryed, I just cant of my daughter with a 27 year old working as a car part salesman but i dont know how to stop her she talks to him on the phone a lot and goes down to the store to see him as far as i know thats all but in my situation why would a 27 year old be interested in a 17 year old before he even knows her. ↓
|
|
| Name: heather | Date: Aug 14th, 2005 1:33 AM |
| how do you know they havent known eachother for a while and do you think they spend time together if theyre not planning on "getting to know each other?" 17s legal and as far as im concerned, shes growing up. she'll always be your baby but she also has to make her own decisions. this man might be a little older than her but hes human, just like me and you and i have met guys that have a good life that havent finished school. why would he be in school if he was 27? and what do you know about this guy? do you know that he did or didnt take a one year program at a technical college to become a hood tech or something on cars? i mean, his age may be a bother to you but what else do you know about him besides he gets dirty and had tattoos and piercings? my bf has a tattoo and works in a car place but he has a very succesful life, so does that not make him good enough for me? i dont think you should judge what you dont know. and shes 17, what age do people start having sex? you better be glad that she has decided to wait that long when there are 14 year olds out there having babies!!! you know your daughters taste or do you know yours? its not that he brainwashed her, did your husband brainwash you that you feel in love with him and had kids? just because hes not a doctor and live up to be the kind of man you want your daughter with doesnt mean you should be like that. its not your decision and shes not 13. give you some things to think about. you need to think about what your daughter feels and try to see what she likes about him before you put him in the backseat. ↑ |
| Name: lana | Date: Aug 16th, 2005 9:43 AM |
| he doesnt work on the cars, he's a salesman he answers the phone basically if no one comes in. Plus my daughter told me that she just met this guy when they went in the store. She recently told me that he really has no desire to find another job and he makes minimum wage and now she's talking about marrying the guy things are moving way too fast ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Aug 16th, 2005 5:43 PM |
| wow mom, you really have your hands ful. what is your daughter like? is she still in high school since shes only 17? why would she talk about marrying him if she just met him? i can see why your upset. im 18 and im 15 weeks pregnant but my bf is going to the military. i dont know what i would do if i had a bf that was 27 and had a min. wage job? have you asked her where she thinks her life is going to go with him or have you asked her who he lives with and if he supports himself? my stepdad is a rancher, no college education, but has alot of money, he tells me that its not how much you make, but how much you save and what its used for. and he is very successful. i think you need to find out how he takes care of himself and then see what kind of life your daughter is in for but dont think that min. wage jobs cant get you somewhere without seeing the facts. i know how much you want for your daughter. my mom is disappointed in me because i had to tell her we were having a baby, but shes very supportive. i plan to at least go to the hospital to take classes to become at least an LVN because 4 years might be a little too much now that this has happened. its not my dream, i wanted to be a physical theripist so i could work with the elderly but since thats probably not going to happen, i want to do something to help us out a little. good luck ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Aug 16th, 2005 5:43 PM |
| i want to know how your daughter reacts when you talk about him and is she stubborn. does she listen to anything you have to say? ↑ |
| Name: lana | Date: Aug 17th, 2005 10:28 PM |
| shes stubborn and tells me that hes the greatest,and not like any guy she's ever known and He even wanted her to go to Vegas with him recently, My daughter is a Senior in Highschool I dont want her going out of town with a 27 year old guy. my daughter asked him if he lived with his mom and he said he has his own house. but i feel just because he has his own house and his own car doesnt mean that he makes a lot of money like my daughter makes it up to be plus i've also found this guy to be a little wild he talks about drinking which i know is kind of normal but then the vegas thing and he also told my daughter and she told me this that he said he wanted to see her in a teddy im just concerned for my daughter ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Aug 18th, 2005 11:01 PM |
| if this comment offends anyone, im sorry but thats life. i cant really tell you what to do because i have been through some things related to that when i was 17. i know im only 18 now but i am so glad things are different and i still have my family. first thing you should know is that my mom isnt very fond of CERTAIN colored people. thats just the way she is. i never saw it like that. when i was 12 i was sneakin around with them and my mom sent me to live with my dad. me and my mother are still very close ( which i am very thankful for and i thank god everyday that dispite everything that i have done, my mother is still there for me) well, i moved back with her after my father died. at first i didnt mind hanging out with other people but for some reason i wanted to talk to the colored people. well, i started dating a guy when i was 17, he was like 23, but i am soo happy now that i got out of being what my mom didnt want me to be. my mom has her reasons for being the way she is. and your right, this guy may not give her the life she is deserved to have and maybe he doesnt fit anything thats good for her, but if its not right for her, she will eventually come to her senses and then wonder why the hell she ever wanted it. guys as you get older these days become more disrespectful. i mean, these days a guy can catch a girl if she walks by, all he has to do is say "DAMN!" i mean, they have no respect and being in high school and so young we want to stand out. to have fun, and i guess the wild things and the people that can get us into clubs are our definition of fun. have you told her that you dont want this to go on? i mean, i dont know that even if you said anything that it would help, but like i said i am so lucky to still have my mom as many things that i have disappointed her about. you have every right to be concerned but she wont realize it until she comes to see for herself. ↑ |
| Name: I was a young girl | Date: Sep 12th, 2005 2:54 AM |
| Yes means no & No means yes. Don't Drive Her Into His Arms. ↑ |
| Name: sammy | Date: Oct 10th, 2005 11:37 PM |
hi i no that you'll probably dismiss this as i am only 18, but id go with youre daughter on this one i have been with a guy that was28 and although we are no longer together we had a great time and are still good friends all you can do is be there for her when she needs you i wish my mum was, if you play it like this you may be doing you both a favour she may realise she doesnt really want him and it could make your relationship between you and your daughter alot stronger im not sayin it will be the right thing im jst talkin from experience
good luck
sammy ↑ |
| Name: Ri | Date: Nov 10th, 2005 11:09 PM |
| hi i have just read your message and wanted to help both of you. your daughter may or my not be seriouse about this guy and he may or may not be seriouse about her but your a parent there to supportwhatever decision she makes. i have got my self in relation ships with guys my age and i have allways been hurt i am now wich somone 13 years older than me and we have been happy for nearly 2 years now we are also exspecting our first child. im not saying let your daughter do anythings she wants to but just trust her she is older and wiser than you think she will do well for herself in the future and you dont need to worry so much trust me! im 18! also any advice on how to tell my mom that im pregnant? hope i was of any help. ↑ |
| Name: Amanda | Date: Nov 12th, 2005 12:15 AM |
| How do you know they dont know each other good enought to talk and be friend?They could really have feeling for each other and have you even brought this up with your daughter ↑ |
| Name: Lana | Date: Nov 16th, 2005 5:13 PM |
| My daughter didn't talk to him for like a couple months and she went in there and now she's really upset because he seemed uninterested, i didnt ask her not to see him they just stopped talking, I told her maybe he was just suprised to see her and that she should go in there a few more times, what do you all think? ↑ |
| Name: Victoria | Date: Nov 20th, 2005 6:48 PM |
| You should just let her see him she isn't a little kid and should be able to make her own decisions let her make mistakes it's the only way she'll learn besides the more you tell her 'no' the more she'll want to go out with him ↑ |
| Name: Jessica | Date: Nov 30th, 2005 11:39 AM |
I think you have every right to be worried, for sure! Your her parent, legally shes not even an adult. Your her parent and its you job to look after her and make sure she is safe. She is only 17, she has a childs mind, she doesn't know whats right or wrong at this stage. You can't let her make decisions that make affect the rest of her like (e.g. getting married or even just dating a stranger older man that could lead to harrasment, anything), thats what you are there for. You are there to guide her and help her, let her know your concerns.
Trust your instinct, if you think this guy is bad news then do what you can do to stop it, or atleast make it as safe as you can for her! A mothers instinct is always right.
Firstly speak to your husband, what does he think about this? to get this to work you need both of her parents thinking on the same level otherwise she will use one against the other.
Seconldy talk to this guy. You and your husband, without your daughter go up to him and ask him straight out whats going on. Hear what he has to say. From this you may trust him more, or worry even more, but either way atleast you will be more likely to know whether to stop this or not!
Next, if your concers are still very high, explain them to your daughter. This is a must. As she is only young she is thinking with her heart, not her brain. She has a crush on this guy, but to her it may seem like full on love, as shes said she wants to marry him, you have to not judge her feelings and tell her shes over reacting, but understand them, let her know you hear what she is saying but remind her that she still doesn't know this guy very well and all the worries you have.
She will most likely use the whole 'but i love him' case against you and 'how can you take away someone i love' lines but dont let that put you off. She will thank you one day. If this guy is GENUINLY interested he will wait. Love waits. Its like when in a relationship one perosn may not be reayd for sex, if its love the other one will wait. He will wait till shes older and more mature and ready for a serious relationship with someone older. He wil wait till you and your husband and her herself get to knwo him enough to trust him. If he cant do that then somethigns not good!!!
I hope that helped! Let me know how it goes :) ↑ |
| Name: Jessica | Date: Nov 30th, 2005 11:41 AM |
| lol sorry about my typing in my reply, it was very bad! I forgot to proof read, oops. ↑ |
| Name: mya | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 4:33 AM |
| Name: kelly | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 2:14 PM |
i think you should give this guy a 1 go at it and if he blows it then tell her my daughter was19 and she was like your daughter was but he was 29 10 years old than her like this guy is with your daughter and i give him a try and he was fab he is realyy great with her he looks after her and cares for her she is now 21 and now they are getting married and i couldnt of wished for a better person for her to be with so dont just turn away and not give him a chance because he could be the right 1 for your daughter you dont no just let him have 1 chance and see what happens .
thanks for reading
kelly xx
p.s i hope everythink works out for the best with ya daughter and everthink. ↑ |
| Name: lna | Date: Dec 1st, 2005 5:11 PM |
| thanks ya'll for your advice, I met him finally and it turns out he seems really nice, if thats a front or not i dont know but guess we'll have to see ↑ |
| Name: Allyson | Date: Dec 13th, 2005 2:36 AM |
i am 17 and dating a 29 yr old my mom and dad hate it.. my mom has met him and thinks he nice but i dad wont even let him in the driveway... you need to let her find out if she really likes him and what hes all about if you wont let her see him she will find a way anyways.... meet him and see if he is a good guy if he is then let them see each other. shes not going to stop for you or anyone else!
P.S my boyfriend is a car parts salesman also and he makes pretty good money! ↑ |
| Name: Meg | Date: Dec 13th, 2005 2:43 AM |
| allyson where do ya live? cause some states the law is 16 and in Cali its 18 i know that... ↑ |
| Name: Amelia | Date: Jan 10th, 2006 7:31 PM |
hi there,
me hmmm. 8 years older then her i guess he is a little to old for her but i COMPLETLEY understand were she is ofrom i like d guy (im14) a (17) al mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmt8 im going into high school next year and he is going io coallage!! we are best friends and i know he likes me too . we wanted to try dating but every one would think it was weird .. so now we are kinda secretly dating . i understand taht you might be afraid that he might be harmfull but i think you should let your doughter decide for herself who she woudl like to date after a while of dating she wiill realize herself that he is older and it wont work out
from amelia ↑ |
| Name: sarah | Date: Jan 20th, 2006 12:20 AM |
well thats quite a story..
my friend recently told me about this site and said i should give some of my advise since i work with these kinds of promblems all day...
i would talk to your daughter ask her what she knows about him, invite him over for dinner get to know him a bit...
you need to make sure your daughter is safe with him because if he isnt your gonna want to get some help from authorities or other people.
I was once found my position that your daughter is i was 19 and i was dating someone 29... i thought i loved him at first however i later found out he had been convicted of killing someone.. it broke my heart at first but i thought about it more and more and decided to leave to behind and become a phchologist.. I was so devasted that this had happened to me, this man was my collugue in vetrenarian clinic. I couldnt bear to ever go back to work with animals and being a vet. i gave my dream and life up becuase of this accident and go into social and crazy people probmlems... Please find out about this guy i dont want anyone or your daughter to go through what i went through ↑ |
| Name: carin | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 11:09 PM |
| I have a daughter that is a pain in the ass she also has sex with older guys. She needs to get a life and this the time I'm going to kick her ass out! ↑ |
| Name: !!!!!!!! | Date: Jan 30th, 2006 11:10 PM |
| hahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!! ↑ |
| Name: dear mom | Date: Feb 9th, 2006 7:05 PM |
| I keep hearing that you keep refering back to money, money cant buy love, people get married have great career jobs and loose their job and don't have any thing to fall back on too, so why does money matter soooo much. Look my husband only makes like 270 something a week but we are happy I dated a guy who was 22 and I was 15 my mom didn't like the age differance but she got to know him for who he was she liked him but things didn't work out. Now vagus that is much I don't know if he'll do any thing to her but there he could turn his head for 1 second and something sould happen to her. You know all good things happen for a reason. Keep that in mind ↑ |
| Name: darline | Date: Feb 16th, 2006 6:54 PM |
| I think you should go for it okay ↑ |
| Name: cristian alfred chirculescu | Date: Mar 6th, 2006 10:07 AM |
i am married with a beautyfol women,we have a 4.5 years old daugther,we are tryng from long time ago ti find a job in italy,germany,u.k.,u.s.a.,or other educated country,please if exist somebody who can help he can call us to : [email protected] or 0040 720834222(cell),we must to do that for oure child,we most to give a good education and a good feature.
thnak to every body hwo listen us and hwo try to help us ! ↑ |
| Name: lika | Date: Mar 7th, 2006 9:52 PM |
|
|
