I feel really fucking miserable right now..I just found out that my kids father has a new Girlfriend and has completley moved on..
I mean we had broken up and he made it clear he didnt want nothing to do with either me or the child...but somewhere deep down i held a hope he would change his mind.
Im such a stupid fucking idiot and i hate myself right now and cant bloody stop crying :( I guess i get to go back to feeling miserable and depressed again..yay me..maybe it was best if i did give up my boy for adoption i would be a shit mother anyway...im pretty much a usless bitch :( ↓
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| Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 5:23 AM |
Dont say that. You have made a very honourable decision. Dont give the baby up for adoption. Its all his loss.
What did the arsehole do? Email you and tell you? ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 6:08 AM |
cheer up 13itchy
youll be a great mother, you're smart!!.. and he will continue to be a useless father. ↑ |
| Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 6:58 AM |
Bitchy,
How did you end up dating an american guy? Just wondering ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 7:15 AM |
| I met him online through yahoo games. We only talked for 3 months and it was a instant thing, i quit my job sold my car and went over there for 3 months on the visa waiver program. Lucky me ended up pregnant...and everything was ok he said we would get married so i could stay in the country.. but basically at the airport he said it wouldnt work out and when i was back in australia he said it would be too hard..and he wasnt willing to do it. ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 7:17 AM |
so from what his friends/brother has told me..he ended up loosing his job and was drinking all the time...lost access to his other son he had from a previous relationship..and ended up on the street.
But i saw him online today posting on one of the sites he visits, saying that he hadnt been online for a while because he was working, spending time with his new GF and looking for a new place to live with her :| ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 7:18 AM |
| I really hope so Ayame..it just hurts so bad .. i really didnt want to bring up a child like this. ↑ |
| Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 7:20 AM |
| It sounds like you still love him bitchy. Forget the fact that your going to be bringing up your child alone. You still have feelings for him. ↑ |
| Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 7:21 AM |
| You will get over him, dont worry ↑ |
| Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 7:27 AM |
| It must be hard trying to have any sort of relationship with someone that is so far away. Has he ever been out here? ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 7:57 AM |
No he never come to australia. He cant even save a dollar.
Like i said it was a whirlwind thing...we only talked for 3 months before i flew out there...and pretty much like i said at the airport as i was leaving he called our complete relationship off.
The first maybe 3 - 4 weeks i was back in australia we talked..and tried to figure something out, but we kept fighting and he went off the rails..pretty much after that the only contact we have had is me emailing him updates on his son and sending him ultrasound pictures..which i might add he seems to have no intrest in.
Its.....out of sight out of mind...he doesnt hear or see me being pregnant the baby dont exsist i guess ↑ |
| Name: Nicola | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 9:23 AM |
| I'm sorry to hear it 13itchy. Is your name Sarah? I'm sure I read that somewhere and it sounds a little more sincere then calling you 13tchy. You are better off out the relationship now then in a few months when you have had your little boy. At least if he doess come round and wants custody you will have a reasonable case, he deserted you when you were pregnant. I'm sure you will be fine and you sound like you do love your baby. I know everybody says it and I've said it before but when your little laddy comes out you will feel such a strong rush for him and if you don't, soon you will and that is the most amazing feeling I have ever had and it's scary because now you have responsibilities and a person dependant on you! But i believe that you will find the strength to carry on (that sounds like something of a deepest sympathy card!) You are feisty, that's another thing on your side, you seem a strong person, though like verybody else you have your moments of weakness. I wish you best of luck and I'm sure things will be fine. Although you love him and it's hard to accept he's obviously moved on, you've just got to. Although I'm only 16 my heart was broken by Paul and I was 7 months pregnant. EVerytime I htink of him now I start to well up and I wish to God i knew where he was or he knew where I was because we parted on very good terms and would love just to phone him everyonce in a while. Anyway this is about you not me, I don't know what else to say so....I guess I shall go because I'm rambling! ↑ |
| Name: granny2be | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 10:58 AM |
I3itchy,
Yeah, I know I don't belong in this room, but I'm so sorry to hear the pain you are in. I can tell from other posts how much your son means to you, so don't even let yourself think of putting him for adoption.
Maybe it's best you found out now, I mean, now you know without a doubt and can start planning accordingly. Consider him the sperm donar for the most precious gift you ever recieved. Hold your head high, cast him aside and move on. HIS LOSS, not yours!!
Hope you get to feeling better soon. ↑ |
| Name: molly-may | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 1:37 PM |
| Do you think that is brother is telling the truth and he is making up a girlfriend. I think you are doing an amazing job with your pregnancy and I think you will be a very good mother. I think once the baby is born you need to send him pictures of the baby and tell him that he is missing out on his sons life. I don't think you need a relationship with this guy, he sounds like someone that would bring you down. You will be better off without him, and you will find the right man that will treat you like a princess. Hang in there, it will get better. ↑ |
| Name: luckey_in_life | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 8:52 PM |
| Are you going to put the father's name on the birth certificate? That might help you if you try to get child support. ↑ |
| Name: Nicola | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 9:01 PM |
| Granny2be, I love the "sperm doner" analogy. That pretty much sums up waht I am like with my babies' dad! ↑ |
| Name: motherdearest | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 10:49 PM |
| WOW BABE, ITS HARD I KNOW I HAVE A DONOR MYSEL. I WOULD CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP AT TIME IT HURTS LIKE HELL. TO KNOW THAT MY DONOR IS A GOOD FATHER TO HIS OTHER KIDS AND DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF MY BABY'S LIFE. I CAN'T HELP BUT TO WONDER WHAT MAKES THEM SO DIFFERENT OR BETTER THAN MY BABY AND ME . ONE THING I CAN SAY IS THAT IT DOES GET BETTER. AS TIME PASSES IT HAS GOTTEN BETTER FOR ME TO DEAL WITH IT EMONTONALY. TIME DOES HEAL PAIN AND YOUR GOING TO BE A GREAT MOTHER AND YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON. A MAN DOES NOT DEFINE US A WOMEN REMEMBER THAT. YOU THE PERSON YOU ARE BECAUSE OF THE LIFE LESSONS GOD AS PUT IN FRONT OF YOU AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES ALL OF US STRONG AND STRONGER. AND WE WILL KEEP GETTING STRONGER. MAN HAVE FALLEN AND WILL CONTINUE TO FALL WE AS STRONG WOMEN ARE THE ONES THAT HELP RAISE AND THAT IS A PATTERN. WITHOUT US THEY ARE NOTHING AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT. ↑ |
| Name: motherdearest | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 10:52 PM |
| ONE MORE THING HIS TIME WILL COME WHEN IT DOES THE PERSON THAT 'S GOING TO COME TO HIS MINE IS YOU. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 10:56 PM |
| I know it's hard but try not to be so down about it. Obviously he doesn't deserve you or the baby in his life! The guy is very immature and clearly not ready to be responsible. This baby will bring you much joy and that is what you should put all of your time and energy into now. You will get over this guy in time and even find someone new who will hopefully be much more deserving of you. Cheer up! :) ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 12th, 2006 11:12 PM |
thanks for the support and kind words...it does help somewhat. I do feel alot better then i did yesterday.
I just really thought he would come around in the end and realise what he was missing out on..even though he is a complete dropkick..just he was so hurt when he lost access to his other son i thought maybe he would try and start fresh with this one.
Yea Luckey i am putting his name on the birth certificate, and i was planning on giving my son his last name. But maybe thats not such a good idea giving my son his last name anymore i dont know.
And i cant get child support from him...one week he has a job the next he doesnt...he quit a perfectly good job not long ago and was homeless for a bit...but apparently got his life back into gear. That and the fact im a Australian, and he is a American..my government wont chase overseas for him for a few dollars a fortnight.
It was never about money or anything like that..i can cope financially..i just wanted the emotional support..and i just cant believe he left me to rot.
Ive just been struggling with this the intire pregnancy..i just wanted best for this kid and i honestly dont know anymore if thats with me.
molly-may - yea his brother and friend are telling me the truth because they are absolutley discusted with the way he treated me from day one. That and the few people i stay in contact with back in St louis, where he is..told me they seen him out with some new girl. ↑ |
| Name: truckwife | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 4:51 AM |
| first you need to get out and pamper yourself a little, find the positive in you ↑ |
| Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 5:09 AM |
Dont call him a sperm donor, especially to the child. That is the most horrible term Ive ever heard. With a sperm donor you dont know the identity of the man. Bitchy's bub's father is guy she loves.
He might not be there at the moment, but you never know what can happen. You must not shut this guy out of your life now you have his child. Even if he says he doesnt want a relationship, he has a right to know how his son is doing. Keep the lines of communications open, even if he is an asshole. ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 8:16 AM |
Ive tried Hiddy i really have...what i wanted the most was him to be apart of this childs life..then of course i wanted him in my life.
But he just doesnt care!! he completely moved on and doesnt want to hear nothing about his son. Ive always emailed him and messeged him with updates on his son from when i found out his sex, to the minor problems to the ultrasound pictures...he just does not care.
I would never call him a sperm donor or say a bad word about him to our son once he is older...but as he grows up come on he wont be stupid he will figure out his dad didnt want nothing to do with him..and how much will that hurt him.
Really this is all my fault i was stupid enough to get pregnant and now my kid has to suffer ↑ |
| Name: lucie | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 8:16 AM |
i3itchy,
for what it means i KNOW you would be a great mom.!!
I know we haven't talked but i have seen some of the posts who have typed and you have an open mind and you're honest.
Best of luck
Lucie
x ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Nov 13th, 2006 2:46 PM |
| 13itchy 13unny,you deserve so much better and in time you WILL find that! You will be a great mom to this baby and once the babies here you will find yourself smiling with joy! :) Look to the future now,you have alot to prepare for in a limited amount of time,be happy and get excited,think positive thoughts! Have a good day! :) ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 1:01 AM |
| Hey i know youre on a upswing today and know that this post is totally irrelevant but.........have you tried getting a corgi? ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 1:02 AM |
| LOL...LOL...hahahahaha.....hehehehehehe ↑ |
| Name: Hiddy | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 2:51 AM |
| Your doing the right thing, even if he doesnt want to be informed, keep him informed from time to time....email him some photos every now and again. Dont bombard him, just keep in touch. Your son is going to want to know who his dad is one day, that way you can say that at least YOU did YOUR best. ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 6:06 AM |
Man i cant help myself..i go to the website he posts on...and have a look what he writes..
Like today he was joking around saying "maybe i should stick to anal sex so no more kids start poping out"
Ahhh its just hurts so bad.....its just REALLY hard to forget all the stuff we did..even in a short period it feels like we where together for years.
Im sure i would be able to get over this if i wasnt pregnant with his kid...but i am and this boy aint going anywhere.
I just hope i dont resent him one day..im really afaid i will. I'm also getting really paraniod that i wont have that instant love feeling and bond with him once he is born. And that i wont be able to look at him or love him. ↑ |
| Name: Ayame | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 8:31 AM |
| Name: marija | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 9:23 AM |
| LOL...you crack me up!!! ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 14th, 2006 11:04 AM |
| Lol ya well if i keep thinkin about the asshole the worse it makes me feel! so screw it...... ↑ |
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