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MY STORY.... I'm 21 years old, I already have a 5 year old and with her I was a single mother too, her father has been in her life on and off now he is more involved I cant complain. Now I'm pregnant again I'm 8 weeks, the father is younger than me he is 18 and he is suchhhhhhh an azz. We were dating for about one month and I got pregnant (we only had unprotected sex 2 times) He was such a nice guy, when he used to come see me he would get up with me and go with me to take my daughter to school with me, he used to do my bed, make breakfast, and on weekends when I used to sleep late he will get up and make my daughter breakfast, clean the house and watch cartoons with my daugther until I got up. I really thought he was a heaven sent. Now this is the problem the minute I told him I was pregnant he changed. He told me to get an abortion and when I say NO he did a 360, after I tld him I was pregnant I most of seen him 2 or 3 times, last weekend I was in the emergency room for 9 hours because I have severe morning sickness I lost 11 pound in 1 month. They coulndt find the baby in the ultrasound and I was really scrare, I was alone... I felt so lonely! I tried calling him, but he woulndt pick up my phone calls or anything I even sent him a text and nothing... After I got out of the emergency room I called him to see what wassup with him, before I said anything he said I'll call you rite back and I'm still waiting, (he knows I was in the ER). Now my best friend is telling me to move to boston that she will help me with everything, but I dont know what to do. Fisrt of all now I'm staying with my brother because I lost my aparment, my job everything... My mother die 4 years ago, and I never met my father so my brother is all I have, now the problem with him is that when I had with my daughter he didnt speak to me until she was 2. He was really upset, now I'm staying with him and our realtionship is getting better, so I dont know how to tell him because i'm afriad that he is gonna kick me out his house and stop talking to me again, him and my daughter are the only family I have. I don't want to lose him. So basically I'm alone jobless about to be homeless, the father dont want nothin to do with me or the baby and very confused. How do I tell my brother? Do I leave to Boston and not tell the father? (not that he is going to care anywayz) I'm more scare to tell my brother than what I was telling my mother about my daughter at 15. Any advice would be welcome, plzzzzzzzz girls help me with this dilema. ↓
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| Name: Kristina | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 2:41 AM |
Lia that is some predicament you are in. It's so unfair for those we love to put limits and conditions on the love they supposedly have for us. I don't quite understand why your brother wouldn't vioce his disappointment but also his undying support for you at the same time. Sometimes it's hard for us to sit back and watch those we love make mistakes, though that doesn't justify our reactions. I suggest you make a plan whether you want to move to Boston (I love Boston, I'm from RI) or to stay with your brother. Whatever your plan is make it and stick to it. If your brother sees you trying to improve your situation he can't fault you for that. Have you considered adoption? That is a great alternative for women who are unable to parent for various reasons. I am an adoptive mom so I am absolutely against abortion, but adoption is noble and you can have visits, letters, calls, emails, etc with your child and their adoptive family if you'd like. There are tons of resources out there for women facing an untimely pregnancy and I suggest you take advantage of them. There are parenting classes, and trade classes where you can learn to type or use the computer to further your career (all free services through the state), there is also low income housing available and since you do not have a home as of yet that would be a great place to start. Contact your local Child and Family Services or Social Services department, they should be able to steer you in the right direction. If you ever feel like chatting feel free to post here or email me at [email protected]. I hope your situation improves and believe it will if you just set your mind on it and put those thoughts into motion. Good luck and God Bless.
Kristina ↑ |
| Name: lia | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 4:17 PM |
| Thanks so much! I would add you to my list. I havent consider adoption, I don't think I could carr y a child for 9 months, give birth to he/she and tehn give it up... I dont think that I could ever live with that. My daughters good mother told me to go to boston and go to a shelter overthere that she would help me get a job and that I should have an apartment before I give birth, she is the only person thats giving me support, and maybe I'll jsut do that. I told my brother last night that I was thinking about going to mass and he said... for what??? Like I said before I lready have a 5 year old and I manage with her at 15. My mother die jusy 8 months after my daughter was born and ever sense I've been on my own, I'm not going to say that it has been easy, but I could tell you one thing its because of her I get up everymorning, she is my reason for living. When I think I cant do it anymore I look at her and she gives me strenght. I was also thinking that after this baby I'm going to get my tubes tide. Even though I'm only 21 I dont think I want anymore kids. It just hurts me soooo much that I dont have NOOOOOOOO support from the father, he never told me that he was going to school, NOW that I'm pregnant he wants to go to school, I cant depend on him for anything besides that he dont even try, he lives with his father and he dosent have a job. IWhen I talk to him I feel like I'm talking to little kid, he told my friend last night (cuz I'm not talking to him) OH I WANNA SEE MY BABY... And I think to myself what baby??? He wont even help me now that I'm pregnant. What can you do for my baby? You cant even take care of yourself! It kills me when he talks like that, (see that baby) what about food, clothes, stroller, crib, DIAPERSSS. He is not thinking about none of that he would not take ant finacial responsibilities cuz as he says "IM YOUNG" I'm sorry but I dont thiink thats an excuse especially when I had my daughter at 15. I really don't think I'm going to let him be a part of my babys life unless he step up-finacially. Or maybe not even if he does. Did I mentioned that he smokes weed and drinks and stays out all night until 5 or 6 am hangin with his "HOMIES". His friends are everything to him. I don't think he is been fair! What should I do with him? He gets me so upset, sometimes I just feel like pulling my hair out!!! ↑ |
| Name: lia | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 4:19 PM |
| sorriiiiiiii about the TYPOS ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 4:27 PM |
| First off,forget about the guy,he's gone! He could only handle your daughter because she wasnt his responsibility.Sad but true,the guys a loser.Next time pick someone older than yourself,he may be a better suit.Tell your brother your situation and if he is not supportive then take your friend in Boston up on her offer.Good luck to you and your children!! ↑ |
| Name: lia | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 4:49 PM |
| Name: lia | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 6:27 PM |
| I would appriciate it if anyone could give me some advice??? Thanks girls I'm just freaking out!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Kristina | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 7:26 PM |
| Hi Lia -- Thanks for putting me on your list, though I was in no way suggesting you give me your child. I am a firm believer that adoption is a great choice, but not for everyone. It sounds to me like you it would not be a good choice for you and that is why I think you need to take advantage of some of the resources the state offers. Even though you are not placing your child for adoption, you can still contact an adoption agency for information. Catholic Charities offers pregnant women help even if they plan on raising their children. Adoption agencies offer help to pregnant women and a lot of the pregnant women they help decide to raise their children. The purpose of my post to you was to show you that there are ways for you to make it. Having said that, I want you to feel comfortable asking for advice etc. from me and others here because we want to help you. I hope everything works out for you. Try giving Catholic Charities a call and let me know how it goes for you. ↑ |
| Name: joyce | Date: Sep 29th, 2010 8:13 PM |
id move on with your life
he didnt want to see u at your worst;
he doesnt give a hill of beans aboutu
and your unborn child
let alone your daughter;
men just dont know what they waant at 18
hes still a child his self;
maybe some day he will see the light
but now he is still trying to fine his self
move to your friends in Boston
if u tell your brother
and he doesnt want u
be happy with your child to be born
and your lovely daughter
good luck some day youll look back
and think u did the best ;
happy holidays ↑ |
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