I've been a single mom most of my 17 year old sons life. He's a good kid - doesn't get into any trouble, doesn't party, runs the streets or hang with the wrong crowd. He's an average student (i.e. lazy) and for the most part is respectful to me and our home (if you have a teenager, you understand that last part!).
I started dating a guy about 15 months ago (he's 47 and i'm 37). he has never been married, no children. he did have a long term relationship of 11 years which he ended about a year before meeting me.
all this being said. we are having MAJOR problems regarding how i raise my son. actually, with everything regarding my son. my boyfriend is from the old school of "throw them to tigers and they'll learn"... although my son is 17 (18 in a few months) he is just now finishing is Junior year of high school. my BF wants me to take 2 week trips with him (i have no support system to watch over my son while i'm gone). 2 weeks, in my opinion, is just too long! i've been gone for a week at a time (i'm actually gone about 11 days out of the month now) traveling with my BF. my son has managed just fine but i still don't think 2 weeks is good (or safe).
anways. our last fight was because my BF thinks it's perfectly ok for my 17 year old to drive ALONE from Canada to Florida. i said "NO WAY!". well, my reaction got him mad and he ended upyelling and telling me to get a life! - later to explain that "getting a life" meant getting a different perspective. this is a constant problem for us.
now....i've been a single mom and i've raised my kid the best way i knew and know how. i have my own beliefs. BUT i am not closed minded either. am i really coddling my son? is it really ok to leave him home alone like that if he's mature and responsible enough to handle it? and on top of that is just becuase he's mature and responsible enough mean i should do it? it is hurting him or helping him? is it teaching him responsiblitly or is it feeding resentment (my son said he doesn't mind - he just wants to be able to call me if he needs me - we've talked endlessly about this subject. i know it was hard for him in the beginning to have me gone so much but he's adjusted and actually enjoying most of his time on his own).
i don't want to loose my BF but i don't want to make a mistake when it comes to being a parent either. if i have to choose i will choose my son. it's crazy that's it's even come to that! the fact is - my BF is my future. my son will be off to college in a year and a half and begin is own future. i can't shut out my BF and his "outside looking in" viewpoint but i also have 17 years invested in my son and i don't want to screw it up now!
please help! and no, my BF won't budge his ground. i need help with MY perspective, not his! (it's all i can do handle my own emotions! lol) ↓
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