| Name: sylvia0366 | Date: Sep 7th, 2006 12:25 AM |
Hi Jenny,
Being a single mom of 3 autistic kids, I know what you are going thru, I also have my "I am depressed" episodes and I cry,not to loud so my neighbors can hear or my kids. My 9 yr old son, Jake and my 7 yr old daughter, Sabrina, are both non verbal, not fully pottty trained, can be sometimes aggressive towards each other, or walls, etc...and like 99% of the time "wild". There are alot of times that I feel I can't handle anymore, BUT, then one of them comes over and gives me a kiss, hug, smile or does a "funny dance" or something and all my negative thoughts fly out the window. Like Merrideth wrote, god gave us special kids because we are special, I never believed it, but, she is right. My way of thinking is, I am their mom, they love me and I love them, and NO ONE will love them or treat them better than I would. I could NEVER imagine giving them away or putting them in a home, (especially with the horrible things you hear on TV that can happen to them). Jenny talk to his pediatrician and see if they will put him on medication to "calm" him down. I had my kids on ritalin for a while, and that REALLY calmed them down. So it might help. Request from your regional center to authorize "respite services" that at least gives you a few hours a month to relax, see a movie, dinner, etc... Just know that you are not alone. If you ever want to just "vent" you can email me at [email protected]. ↑ |
| Name: babyhuie61 | Date: Oct 29th, 2006 12:00 AM |
Hi Jenny. My name is Cindy. I have a 15 yr old who has multiple disabilities, mentally and physically. She also ahs a sleeping disorder, so sometimes she goes to bed to get up if you know what i mean. She can get up at midnight and stay awaike until it is time to go to bed the next night. I know that a couple of times I have lost it. It is hard when I have to get up early in the morning to go to work. I don't think your son is crazy. Just hang in there hun. Have you looked at getting respite care outside of th4 home for him?
Cindy ↑ |
| Name: momof3onewithcp | Date: Nov 10th, 2006 12:59 AM |
HI
rAISING A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS IS NOT EASY. YES IAM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE. I HAD MY SON WHEN I WAS 23. HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH A LUNG DISEASE,DEAF AND QUADRIPLEDGIC CEREBRAL PALSY. IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO GIVE HIM AWAY YOU SHOULD REALLY TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR. THERE IS ALWAYS RESPITE PROGRAMS OUT THERE AND THIS WOULD GIVE YOU A BREAK. ALSO FOSTER CARE HOMES IF THE NEED CAME FOR IT. PLEASE PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK YOU WERE GIVEN A SPECIAL CHILD AND HE LOVES YOU. YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. ↑ |
| Name: shanak10 | Date: Nov 24th, 2006 2:46 PM |
Hi Jenny,
I am so sorry to hear abt your situation. I know it is very difficult to be so young and to have to take care of child let alone one with disabilities. Jenny, do you mind telling us the nature of his disability? maybe we can find some help for you.
Shoshana ↑ |
| Name: RachelL | Date: Jan 11th, 2007 2:51 PM |
| well im 24 years old with a 4 year old daughter with CP. SOmetimes i do feel that way at certain stress points, but at the same time if you give hiim away you will be not only hurting yourself but him as well. If you want to talk email me at [email protected] I need someone to talk to too ↑ |
| Name: donna28 | Date: Jan 24th, 2007 3:00 PM |
I don't know what disabilities your sons has but I know what it is like to be young and have a son with speical needs
hang in there it is hard right now but in time it gets better. It is also hard on your child to. I know that he is young now but he is going to need you to be strong. found out has much has you can. the more you know the more you will understand him and the more you can help him. It is not easy some days are good and some are bad. take it day by day. ↑ |
| Name: lifelongmom | Date: Jan 25th, 2007 2:08 AM |
| jenny, hello, Im the lifelongmom. I have two adults now that are dissabled, my son is 26 and sometimes I feel like giving him away. but you know what has helped me alot. I was raised in church, and that is where I draw my strenth. Find a church that will let you put him in a class that he will like. and then you go and sit in church to recieve strength. IM A/G, ( assembly of God), and I truly believe that God has brought us to a wonderful church that they are willing for me to put my daughter in the nursery, and they built a corner for her with a rocker she loves, and a cott to lay down on when she wants. my son loves to sit in the santuary, we also have a group that comes, of handicapped men, ages 20 - 70 that live together and they love my son to sit with them. I live in a very large town, and of all the churches this one welcomed us in. ↑ |
| Name: Mel Mel | Date: Jan 31st, 2007 1:31 AM |
| Hey, what a very evil thing to say. Your child is not crazy, do you not think it's hard living with disabilities well you need to put yourself in his place. You shouldn't get depressed you should thank God every day that you have a child to take care of. Here is what it is you just don't have enough love in your heart for your child you want him to be like everyone else well every child is different. Stop being depressed and start thanking God for a wonderful child that needs you so much. ↑ |
| Name: Katie | Date: Sep 8th, 2007 5:24 AM |
| Jenny Dont worry it does get better i have a daugher 16 that was born addicted to crack and now has left her with a great many problems OCD ADHD but she is so talented as well she speaks 4 languages plays any instrument by ear writes beuatiful music but cold cocks her brother and make his nose bleed and give hims a black eye....we have to take the good and hope it helps us cope with the exasperating sorry for the spelling having trouble with my eyes an can't type well now.. ↑ |
| Name: debi | Date: Sep 12th, 2007 9:07 PM |
Hi Jenny,
I am guessing that your son is hard to deal with.
I know how you feel. My son has PDD, Aspergers, Diabetes, ACTH deffeciency, and Compulsive Over Eating.. To top all this off he is prone to violent IED, and ODD when he does not get what he wants. He has been this way since he was 2., he is now 12. I was 34 when I had my son . We have been, and currently are going to special docotors for his behavioral problems. He is on medications, some work for a while and then stop. So we have to find something else. He has problems at school as well, despite his IEP. He has to have a nurse with him while in school to monitor his diabeties, food intake, etc.. since he is unable to care for him self. When his nurse is out in school, I have to go in her place, or he does not go to school. I to get so depressed and often want to give him up as well,and find myself wanting to throw in the towel. But them I remember the sweet boy he can be, and how much he depends on me when the angry monster, (we call it that), takes him over. I try to see past the anger , to see a frighten child who is frustrated becasue he is unable to express the way he feels in words like we would. So the only way he can express his frustration is by acting out, and for any unfortunaite item that is within reach, it may have a short shelf life.
1. The first thing I try to do is not loose my temper with him, probably the hardest thing to do.
2. I try to redirect his attention to something else to defuse the situation.
3. when and if he is under control, we discuss options,at his mental age level respectively.
4. No more than 2 options, I found that having more than 2 options makes things worse and we are back at square one. With each option I make sure the outcome is what I want or what ever the goal was to begin with... (like no snack at 2pm, because his BGL is to high) .
( Option of his choice: 3pm or 4pm is ok and it must be one of these snacks or nothing at all.)
The KEY here, I that He gets to choose, so he feels that he is in control and I still stand firm on my decision.
Granted, sometimes it does not work, but usually it does. If this does not work, it means that his anger has esculated beyond negotiation and it's best to let him have his outburst as long as he does not hurt himself, others, or property. He eventually calms down, starts to cry and wants hugs, saying he's sorry and that he'll never do it agian.
I think that deep inside him, he is truly a good person He just needs a little longer than most kids to learn how to handle social situations or personal desires.
His behavior puts a huge stress on the family and we do very little together as a family. Like going out to eat, the beaches, or theme parks, etc.. Any family activites are planned and structured for time limits. So that when we do go out and do something we can enjoy ourselves and have some fun.
We make sure to put time aside for our daughter. Either my husband or myself, will take her to do stuff , while the other stays at home with our son. Things that are normal family events are usually done seperately.
I'm not sure if this helps you any, but its how we were taught to handle things by our doctors that we see regularly. I am always on the look out for other methods for behavioral modification, wether it be in books, his special ed teacher, and school social worker, even the internet.
Best of luck to you.
Hang in there. ↑ |
| Name: Karen | Date: Sep 27th, 2007 1:54 PM |
| Are you in a good church. You need the support of people that realize how hard this is for both of you. What are your son's disablities? ↑ |
| Name: barbara | Date: Oct 8th, 2007 2:09 AM |
i was born with cp 67 years ago back then drs. didnt know what
to do back then. i have overcome a lot of my disabilities i graduated with my class which was very hard to do back in the 60si have been married 3times i have one son whno i adore i ↑ |
| Name: JB Handley | Date: Dec 13th, 2007 5:17 PM |
Google my name above, look for GenerationResuce[DOT]org for a great source of information that could help YOU and MANY of your children.
One area that more parents overlook is that the Vaccines that they had their kids injected with was about the same time that the child started to have worse behavior.
The SAME time frame of the vaccinations, was when the CHILD began to act different.
IS THEIR a connection? YES.
I encourage you to check things out. There REALLY IS a hope and a way that your child can get better. It won't happen overnight, or in a few weeks... but OVER TIME it is VERY POSSIBLE.
Things like changing your baby's diet. Gluten-Free and Casien Free diets. Food elimination diets. Check out Generation Rescue. Do a simple Google Search for "Generation Rescue Autism" also check out PutChildrenFirst dot org for more information on FLU shots and how they can cause harm to your children also. There are ALLOT of people on the internet looking to help, and share their own story.
All my best to you and GodSpeed to you all. Keep up the fight, Keep your faith... there IS Hope out there. Just come on out and find it. Blessings to you all. ↑ |
| Name: Destiny | Date: Jan 24th, 2008 3:07 PM |
| my child has down syndrome ↑ |
| Name: jeril63 | Date: Feb 11th, 2008 1:01 AM |
| Jenny, I can empathize with every feeling you're experiencing. I just had a weekend with my disabled daughter that has left me physically, mentally and emothionally exhausted. I know first hand that asking for help doesn't always make it appear instantly and in a state of desparation it can seem like a lifetime before help arrives, but don't give up because if you're persistant enough help will eventually come and you will get some relief. When you do get some respite- take as much as you can get as often as you can get it. Never turn away good help! We've all expressed how our roles as parents of disabled kids with severe behavioral issues can be all-too-consuming and we cry out for help, you're not alone. jsut remind yourself that your child lives you and in a way he's crying out for help too- he just doesn't know how to express it appropriately. Know that he loves you and keep appealing to whatever resources available. Jeril ↑ |
| Name: WEINER SNITCHEL | Date: Mar 4th, 2008 4:02 PM |
| Name: Jessica | Date: Mar 14th, 2008 3:39 PM |
I am a Music Therapy student at Florida State University. We have the newest research, which is always improving, in music therapy.
First off, I want everyone here to be aware that Music Therapy can do wonders for those with developmental disabilities. Please look into it, or contact me for more information.
Also, I am trying to find the parent of a child with a disability to interview for research. It will only take about 10-15 minutes, and I can do it online. It will also be beneficial to all since it is research, and will only improve education and therapy. Please find me on AIM, my screename is YJs littleDoll
or you can e-mail me at [email protected]
I have been posting everywhere and have not found any volunteers. Thanks ↑ |
| Name: kimberly | Date: Jul 31st, 2008 8:31 PM |
| my daughter seems to go crazy when she doesnt get her way, she'll tear up her books and trys to hit and bit me but it comes and goes one week shes an angel and the next she seems like the devil him self... and shes only going on 4 years old i am pretty sure that she is add and adhd like her father but i dont know what to do ..... latly ive been doing a whole lot of crying over this and streesing and it makes me doubt having other children because i feel like a failure with her. help. ↑ |
| Name: Desiree | Date: Aug 1st, 2008 8:25 PM |
| Name: princess | Date: Aug 24th, 2008 7:15 AM |
| dear chris brown how are you doing and how is jonthan and nole and ↑ |
| Name: Rachel | Date: Sep 9th, 2008 11:43 PM |
| Hey Jenny. I'm only 21 and I don't have kids. However, I am about to graduate as a Special Education major and I have worked with a little girl for the last two years who has moderate/severe autism. She is 6 now. Her parents have a 9th grader, a 6 year old, and a 2 year old. And like you said, their house is CRAZY!! Much dedication comes with having a child with a disability. Whenever they get stressed, they told me that they always think about how things COULD be worse. Just within the last two years that I have worked with her she has improved. I think that getting your son into a school that is aimed to help and give children with disabilities extra help is an excellent move. Nothing is certain, but most likely your son will improve with extra help (statistics say so). I know it seems tough, but when things seem insane, remember that like Merrideth has said, God will not give you more than you can handle. Also, 5 is a though age. It is a lot of transitioning from a toddler into a child. Starting school, making friends, it stresses them as well as you. So hang in there, things will get better. He is still very young and has A LOT of learning and maturing to do! ↑ |
| Name: nicole | Date: Dec 26th, 2008 2:20 PM |
| look i honestly think if you cant handle it then maybe you should concider adoption ↑ |
| Name: madashell | Date: May 16th, 2009 7:22 PM |
| hello whateveryourbitchnameis, im fourteen got raped had a child born with mutiple disabilities. the father is no where to be found so im left rasing him on my own (parents have deceased) i live with my blind grandma who is hopelessly confused. my child cant talk, walk, or put puzzles together. and i love my little louisa. even after all ive been through, ive never even consider giving her away. so dont be such a bitch and have a child to just wanna give it away. its not its fault he/she has disablities. oh and lay off the crack and/or alchohol when your pregnant. ↑ |
| Name: Sho | Date: Jun 11th, 2009 2:37 AM |
| Hey I'm new to this forum and not sure how to begin. I have a issue which concerns me about my 11 year old.. can someone help me? ↑ |
| Name: kristna'n'christian | Date: Jul 15th, 2009 8:48 PM |
HAVE OLD EQUIPMENT? YOU CAN DONATE? I'LL PAY SHIPPING IF NEEDED!
I have had so much trouble trying to find
/ get to try equipment for my son. I assume I am not the only one. I live in a small town. Nampa Id. We have very little resources. I'm going to start an equipment lending. I don't have much money or room I feel it is my one way to help out th ecommunity. Please email at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: georgina dallimore | Date: Jul 25th, 2009 12:02 PM |
| hi my name is georgina i have a son who has aspergers ,adhd,tourettes,ocd,dyspraxia asthma,epeleptic,my son ten now its been hard and rocky path and i,ve had to have alot of love and patience even when my son use to not sleep he use to bite me kick me punch swear i now had to read alot books see speclist etc but i found i was alone most of the time i found books on my son disbility by reading i could understand him better lots of stickers and award charts praise and love lots of counting 1 to 10 and i did shed mwany tears when i was alone it does get better i was single mum but now i,m married been married 1 year and few mths my husband good with my child .i do hope things get better and when i get computor i,l write again keep chin up ↑ |
| Name: kim | Date: Aug 5th, 2009 1:29 AM |
| be thankful that your child is JUST autistic,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,mine is autistic and has tuberous sclerousis and is 23..he is in diapers and I am about to to be alone with him ......with...............no services. Step dad has had all he can take and dad isn:t really in the picture]]]]]]]Help...I don"t know what to do ...Nashville Tenn SAD and LOST ↑ |
| Name: cinda | Date: Oct 17th, 2009 2:52 PM |
My oldest son is 6 years old and is name is Brendin. He was born with ( CMV ) Cytomegalovirus virus. It effected his vision, hearing, kidneys. Brendin had 3 surgeries, 2 for central lines to give meds and 1 for his kidneys. He has a mild case of CP and ADHD.. His left ear is profoundly deaf and his right ear is mild hearing loss. It also effects his learning, he is a little behind. He went to school at the G.A.Barber Center in Erie for Hearing Impaired preschool class for three years.without his meds for adhd-i wanna pull my hair out.lol..
My youngest son is 6 months old and his name is Benjermin. He was born with DiGeorge Syndrome. We discovered at 2 months old he was missing the pulmonary valve and a huge murmur in his heart. He had to get rushed to Pittsburgh and have heart surgery ASAP. During the surgery they realized he is missing the thymus glad as well, no immune system. He came home on oxygen for the next 2 months, constantly gets measured- Head, neck, fingers, ears, chest, face, toes, feet, penis, birth makes, height, because it can effect everything. It also effect his learning.he is an EXTREMELY FUZZY
Our home is very busy with a lot of people walking in and out of our door. I have early intervention who comes weekly as of right now, TSS worker four days a week, Behavior Therapist once a week, working on a mobile therapist as well. People tell my I qualify to a home nurse, but I have enough people walking in and out. Doctor appointments back to back.
I believe God is watching my babies, making sure they are okay. I feel guilty they ant like all the other children running up and down our street. Children with special needs are so thankful for even the small things, so polite and loving. They love anyone who says hi.
Even though it was an easy choice, medicine or your going to lose you baby, its hard knowing Brendin may not be able to have children because of the meds. Benjermin has a 50/50 chance of passing his illness to his children. When illness effect your learning, or your mobility then your doctors tells you about the chances of you being a daddy is low makes life even harder.but they are so wonderful, there my life
i am only 21 and trust me i got my work cut out 4 me.the best thing is admit you may need meds. im on antidepressants, abd get your lill boy some help- whether it behavior ↑ |
| Name: unknown | Date: Jan 21st, 2010 3:52 AM |
| I have custody of my neice. She is crazy! She sits there and looks at everyone likes she wonts to kill them. She will hurt them for no reason. She and my kid was sitting and watching tv and then she gets up and twist her toe till it almost breaks! She is seems to have alot of people in her head! Her eyes turn different colors and then she looks like she is blank and she looks at you like she wonts to kill you. I dont know what to do? She will do this alot to others too. What am I to do? I have looked it up on the web and can't find anything! can anyone help? please email me a link or a doctor ,, [email protected] thanks ↑ |
| Name: unknown | Date: Jan 21st, 2010 3:55 AM |
| wow grow up and deal with it. and if you can't then stop having kids! I have real problems, I wish my kid was just hyper! you need to be fixed and stop having kids and stop bitching so much and let us with real problems on here! ↑ |
| Name: TRINA | Date: Jan 23rd, 2010 2:25 AM |
| I know exactly what your talking about my son has autism and I dont want to complain but thats what we are all on hear for ...for someone to listen and not judge us for complaining, we didnt ask our kids to be born this way but I sure wish they did come w/ instructions. ↑ |
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