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| Name: brooke&jack'smom | Date: Dec 6th, 2005 3:41 PM |
| why give up? Since you had a pregnancy last year, and you have one child, then I wouldn't call you "infertile"! Now, it may take you longer to get pregnant, but I wouldn't totally give up yet. If this is truly something you want, I would keep trying for another year or so. (Depending on how much past 40 you are right now) I understand the emotions of seeing your sister-in-law pregnant. My mom said she always wanted more then two kids, but she never got pregnant again. So of course she had a friend who had a baby every year. (There's always somebody who has what you want--you have to take your eyes off of them and focus on what YOU have--I know it's hard). Also, as far as paying for fertility treatments, there are a lot of "herbal remedies" you can try. I had a friend who suffered infertility, and her husband's sperm count was remedied by taking a Chinese herb. (She has 2 kids now). My husband is Chinese, and there are a lot of herbs the Chinese use for different things that really work. (I have a tendency not to trust anything that isn't our western-type medicine). :) ↑ |
| Name: brooke&jack'smom | Date: Dec 6th, 2005 3:43 PM |
| oh, and I also had a miscarriage. I know it is awful, but it truly is a fluke usually. I went on to have two kids after that. Maybe you should check out an on-line support group for women who have suffered miscarriages? It really helps in the first couple of years when you are feeling depressed. ↑ |
| Name: over40mom | Date: Dec 6th, 2005 5:57 PM |
| Great support for over-40 trying to be pregnant and pregnant women : http://www.pregnancy-info.n et/QA/questions-Pregnant_Over_35 / ↑ |
| Name: over40mom | Date: Dec 6th, 2005 6:00 PM |
| the internet address above should be all in one line. This site broke it up in 3 lines for some reason. ↑ |
| Name: Victoria | Date: Dec 6th, 2005 10:16 PM |
| You seem quite distressed about being unable to get pregnant for the second time. I am just worried that this may affect your son, who is now old enough to understand the world around him and seeing his mum in such a state could really upset him. And just one more thing - do you really want this baby or are you struggling against your own body and, sorry, age? ↑ |
| Name: Hi there Carrie | Date: Dec 28th, 2005 7:14 AM |
| Hello there Carrie, My name is Kate, and I had a miscarriage at 6 months. (kinda). I understand your loss as I had one but at a very late stage. I am a christian now, but sometimes these little wee souls were send down 'for short time, not a long time' and there is always a reason that God takes our babys. You have to seek the Lord in why it happened. have you considered adoption? There are many grants and loans to get a hold of, and these babys need homes!!! I would suggest if you are in a country that allows adoption reasonably easily then to seriously look into it. You sound like a person who would have a lot of love to give to one of Gods 'orphans' . Our situation is very common..... hope you are coping ok. Just remember, you are lucky you have one of your very own already......I dont yet but hopefully I will be able to have one of my own soon one day..... God bless you Carrie, Kate from New Zealand, Auckland. ↑ |
| Name: Rian | Date: Jan 2nd, 2006 12:37 AM |
| I too have four little souls with your little one up in heaven. I had the four miscarriages within an 8 mo. time frame. It was a difficult time but I always had a peace about it. we concieved6 mo. later. I recommend you visit INCIID.org. It has an amazing support group for every aspect of fertility at any age. I agree with the other lady that said you need to seek the Lord through this whole thing and ask for peace only He can bring. Best Wishes. ↑ |
| Name: Suzanne | Date: Jan 8th, 2006 12:38 PM |
| Dearest Carrie, I am crying with you. Please do not lose hope. It may not be as bad as you have been led to believe. I would recommend your next step be to take your fertility in your hand, and understand how it works. It is very empowering. This may be all you need. It has worked for other women. You can get a quick overview from this website: http://www.reeds rx.com/women/nfp.htm Th e Creighton Method of FertilityCare costs nothing. There is a class that one must attend, and meetings with a nurse instructor, to learn it. But places that offer these classes use a sliding fee scale, and I know of none that will turn a couple away due to inability to pay. It is true that your miscarriage may indeed be just a 'fluke', but it is possible that it may speak of something deeper then just a fluke. If that is the case, the Creighton method will aid in pinpointing what your difficulty may be, and will be very helpful in helping you solve your difficulty if you get in touch with an ob/gyn who is familiar with the NaPro technology of fertility. Those who use NaPro technology have by far the highest, the absolute very highest success rate there is in successful pregnancy compared with others in the field. Our fertility is something we can understand and take an active part in. Please take time to at the Pope Paul VI Institute for Fertility Care website at http://www.popepaulvi.com/about1.htm I pray that it will give you hope. They look at you as a woman, not an infertility case. They understand how a woman's body is supposed to work, and believe a woman can understand also. Through educating you on how to recognize the signs of fertility, they are able to work with you on pinpointing what is bringing about your difficulties, and then address those difficulties. They do not make you wait for 3 miscarriages as other doctors do. They listen to you, work with you to find out what the problem is, then deal with the problem. There is no other organization that can come near to their success rate. They change lives. They have branch offices all over the country. Please contact them to get more information. God be with you as you walk in this life. ↑ |
| Name: Suzanne | Date: Jan 8th, 2006 12:40 PM |
| The one website did not post correctly, here they are again. http://www.reedsrx.com/women/nfp. htm http://www.popepaulvi.com/about1.htm ↑ |
| Name: Maureen | Date: Feb 2nd, 2006 8:20 PM |
| I have left over Lupron from an IVF treatment? ↑ |
| Name: Emily | Date: Feb 12th, 2006 12:29 AM |
| Dear Carrie, I can only provide comfort in letting you know I know your pain as I am also so devastated by my secondary infertility. It's something no one can really understand except for us--because it is a unique position. I've wanted a second child for our family and for a sibling for my son and am 42. I was already told at 39 following inferitlity treatments that I'd have to get a donor egg if I wanted to get pregnant. Still, I've always had that lingering hope and the monthly psychological trauma. In the past I was talked into a D and C after a miscarriage with people telling me it would improve my fertility. Quite the opposite, for three years I was then infertile from scarring in my uterus. After that was dicovered and cleaned out, I became pregnant immediately (at 36) but then never again. I am angry at myself for letting myself get the D and C (which was totally unnecessary as I had passed all the tissue there was to pass prior to it). My sister got pregnant a year ago at age 42--but she has been doing yoga seriously for the last several years (I, unfortunately, have been diagnosed with lupus in the interim--probably secondary to bad genes in combination from the high stress of my professional career). Her chances of having a second are much higher than mine even though she's a year older. I do earn alot of money too but it doesn't replace the empty chair I see around the kitchen table. This letter probably has depressed you more. I hope you do get pregnant--keep trying. If you don't have a physical ailment like myself--your chances are better. As far as no one noticing that it might bother you to see someone else's happiness(your sister in law with twins)--is a compliment to you. They must think you are above what you really feel inside. I really don't think it would comfort you more if people tiptoed around the subject out of respect for you. Emily Good luck, Emily ↑ |
| Name: Michele | Date: Feb 12th, 2006 1:15 AM |
| My mom had secondary infirtility after me. It took until I was 12 years old for her to find out what was wrong and get it taken care of. It was endrometriosis and it is when the lining grows outside the uteris (in her case the fallopian tubes) and it took a simple operation for her to get pregnant again! Since you cannot get fertility treatments I would advise just going to a doctor that specializes in infirtility and see what the problem is, it may be something that doesn't require all that much (endrometriosis can cause painful sex and periods and other issues so getting it fixed is not considered fertility treatments) ↑ |
| Name: veelee | Date: Mar 2nd, 2006 4:44 PM |
| Hey, Carrie. I will be 43 at the end of this month. My daughter is four. We are lucky to have insurance for fertility treatments, which I started in Sept, but have had no luck. It is not the sure thing people would have you believe, especially at our age. It is hard to have that sadness to carry around all the time, when there is a joyful exuberant child in your life already, isn't it? Hard to feel you can allow yourself the grief when you should just be thankful. But secondary infertility and certainly miscarriages are losses which do require grieving. I hear you. I don't really have that fixit personality that some do, quickly responding with a pat answer or solution. But here are a couple of comments. My sister in law is having her third unexpectedly at age 43, she has 2 kids 9 and 12. So it can happen naturally. Consider looking in to nutrition, most of the suggestions in The Infertility Diet are good sense for your body whether or not you concieve, I am trying some of the suggestions now, something to chat about later? Also, there is the book by Toni Weschler, which might be called Taking charge of your fertility, which combines the cervical mucus check and basal temperature reading to predict ovulation and spot problems. Sorry about the sister in law. Are these her first children? It would be sad for noone to celebrate out of respect for you, though I know how you feel. I have another sister in law who is also pregnant. How would you feel if the situation were reversed? ↑ |
| Name: sonia | Date: Mar 2nd, 2006 5:03 PM |
| Try acupuncture it is not as expensive as fertility treatments but can make you very fertile. I'll pray for you to get pregnant soon. ↑ |
| Name: Isabella | Date: Mar 3rd, 2006 8:34 AM |
| Was reading some of the posts on this sight and wanted to respond. My husband and I have a 5 yr old and a 2yr old, and I had a miscarriage at around 12wks in-between them. It was tough, and what surprises me sometimes is the pangs I will still feel on occasion. I finally realized what was going on when a bunch of people I knew were having their third child and I got really jealous which didn't make a whole lot of sense to me and realized when I read this other persons's story on a website about grief and loss with pregnancies etc., I felt so much compassion for them and it took me a few minutes to realize I had been through an almost identical circumstance, and that was about 3 years after the fact. I think I also heaped a lot of guilt on myself about since I already had two children that I was being ungrateful, that was really just a bunch of crap. It was when I knew God understood that I started feeling better. Several things helped me along the way: 1) a really good book titled, 'Preventing Miscarriage: The Good News' by Jonathan Scher, I read the stories over and over again, and felt like I knew what to watch for and/or what tests to request to try and prevent miscarriage again 2) an excellent GYN that I really trusted. I started wondering if I miscarried because I had drunk some caffeine etc. and I remember him getting right up in my face, and saying very kindly, "Don't even do that to yourself, miscarriages can happen for all kinds of reasons and many times we don't even know why" 3) Also, a book titled 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility'. Man, was it ever helpful, couldn't believe how much I learned and I had already even had a child. 4) Realizing in retrospect how much my emotions were going to go up and down for a few months because of the strong hormonal changes after a miscarriage 5) going to the health food store and getting a bunch of supplements that helped my body just feel better, healthier Hope some of this will be useful---best wishes and love to those going through this stuff, it can really suck sometimes, damn, it's tough knowing what to say and I've even been through this crap, well anyway, hang in there--- ↑ |
| Name: tweedle | Date: Jan 1st, 2007 9:59 PM |
| . ↑ |
| Name: DIZZLE1 | Date: Jan 1st, 2007 10:24 PM |
| hiop ↑ |
| Name: lotsaheart | Date: Nov 11th, 2010 4:02 PM |
| Hi, I know how you feel. I too have a daughter who's 10 and always felt that is not enough. I have 3 sisters who all got pregnant at the same tim. I was so excited when I too got pregnant, just to later miscarrie as my younger sister went into labor. We have a great Dr. that lets us make payments and tells us that we have no limit. So we make a payment of about 100 each month to try to make our dream come true. If your husbands a pastor I take it you believe in heaven. I know from experiance that a mothers heart usually knows when there's still a child needing to be born. I had confirmation in that my daughter asked me when she turned 1 and could barely talk when her little brother was comming down from heaven. Pray about it. If you get the feeling like their are more children for your ask god to provide the way and never stop believing. Trust me after 10 yrs everyone's given up on me. And I mean everyone except God that is and my husband Good Luck!! ↑ |
