Okay so Cadie(1y5m) and Derek (2y8m) are kinda rough & tumble. They both take hard falls, bumps, and scrapes like they are nothing. They play rough with each other and think nothing of it. Neither have really had any other kids besides each other to play with before. Since we moved we have started playing with the kids in the new neighborhood. There are a pair of six year old cousins a boy and a girl that have come over from next door to play with both the kids and Cadie has a friend right across the street who is 1 month younger than her. They all just started to come over to play in the last couple of weeks and have come over maybe 6 or 7 times so far.
Cadie is trying to be friends with the baby from across the street who is only a month younger but still very toddly and very dainty compared to Cadie who is VERY tough and sturdy on her feet. The mother and I have kind of become friends but my kids are like rough necks or something and are running circles around her kid. I don't want her to get mad at us and BELIEVE me I have been trying EVERYTHING to get them to tone it down a notch since....well its seems like they were born this way. Derek Is very good with the baby and really just ignores her for the most part. But Cadie is the same age and is trying to make friends and she keeps hitting her to get her to play or pay attention. She has always patted our heads or hands to get our attention or when we would give her kisses, or she would give ya pat on the butt if you were laying down like I would do to both of the kids and I never realized it is kind of a hard pat she gives back and if she hits another kid like that they won't find it fun. So I keep stopping her from hit/patting us and telling her no but doesn't seem to be doing any good. I tried to show her gentle and rough, We have a cat and she knows to be gentle with it so I said she had to be gentle like when she touches Sadie and she walked up to the baby and meowed at her, I tried crying and saying ouch when she hit me and she thought that was just HILARIOUS. We've put her in time out but she really just doesn't understand time out is a punishment because she is just as happy sitting there as she was before she got put there.
Derek is kinda being bratty with the kids from next door. He is almost 3 and they are 6 or 7. The little girl is very patient and the little boy is really alot like Derek except faster. Anyway he won't share and trys to take whatever either of them try to play with I keep having to take stuff away from him and tell him to share his toys and play nicely, sit him out, or send the kids home and go inside if he continued.
They are good kids and generally do play nicely with each other, I think that is just very exciting for them right now, we moved and they now have so much more freedom a great big yard and other kids to play with where before unless we specifically went to the park, or on a walk, or even outside they were basically cooped up all the time. Do you think they will calm down and learn how to play with the other kids? Any ideas on how to get them to adjust faster??? ↓
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| Name: bmes | Date: Nov 24th, 2008 8:14 PM |
geez i don't know. ha ha. my kids are rough with eachother too....they are constantly battling it out. lol....our neighbors have two girls (a five year old and 8 year old). they have been coming over a couple/few times a week and we haven't had TOO MANY problems. the neighbor girls are at the age where they understand the concept of sharing, and understand that my kids haven't quite grasped that concept yet. they are very patient with them which is nice. either they just let my kids take the toy and they find something else to play with, or they deal with it amongst themselves. like the older girl was coloring in the coloring book and Anika came up to her and just grabbed the book. so the girl just said "no anika. i'm coloring this right now..." she picked up another coloring book and said to her "here.. here's another book and crayon...you color in this one ok?" and Anika had no problem with that. as for when they get rough with the neighbor girls, i usually just try and remind them "be gentle, or the girls won't come over anymore. they don't like to play with meanies!!!" ha ha....and then i try and distract them with something else.
try and give them activities to do that don't involve too much contact with one another. lol... i get my kids and the neighbor girls to play with playdoh, coloring books, watch a movie, dolls, car races (with hotwheels or tonka trucks) down the hall way... i leave out snacks...that usually distracts them and keeps them quiet. lol... and if they start getting too "involved" with eachother, i just come up with a new task. i had them help me decorate cookies one afternoon. anything to keep em distracted from starting to play rough with eachother.
it's EXHAUSTING...i wish i could just let em have at it and play with eachother. but i need to stay there and keep em busy at all times.....they are still having fun with eachother and it's only for a couple hours or so and then they go home and THEN i can relax!!! ha ha
good luck. :-) ↑ |
| Name: VonDoomsMom | Date: Nov 30th, 2008 1:12 AM |
| This is driving me crazy!!!! Derek is starting to get the idea of playing nicely. But Cadie keeps swinging. She does hit when she is angry and we are working on that...but she also hits to say hi, or get this other babies attn. I keep telling her not to hit and be gentle but she doesn't get it. It makes no sense to smack her hand for hitting someone else (we only smack them for things that they might get hurt on like they get their hands smacked for touching the outlets or the stove etc and not very often), and when she does it to me I am very stern with her and tell her not to hit. But she LAUGHS and hits me again! I DO NOT ever play into this "game" and tell her again and again then I will sit her out but REALLY this has been going on for months now. SHE LOVES THE HITTING GAME-its hers and she invented it and will play it whether you like it or not, whether she gets into trouble or not. But now since there is another baby around its REALLY a problem. Any ideas other than time out??? I know be consistent and patient and it will pass but ARGGGGGHHHHH! LOL ↑ |
| Name: Dawn0027 | Date: Dec 1st, 2008 5:26 AM |
Hi VonDoomsMom
I have three kids of my own, and three times I have had to deal with the hitting for attention problem. The best way that I have found to break them of this habit is by stopping the swinging first, then ignoring them.
For example, my son would hit me while I was sitting in my chair, so I would gently put my hands on his shoulders, force him to sit, and pretend that I didn't see him. Every time he would get up and hit again, I would again place him on his bottom in the floor, and ignore him.
The idea is about the same during play time or nap time as well. If she is already sitting or laying down when she hits, just put enough distance between you so that she cant reach you, and look away from her. It takes about a week or two, but eventually she will get the idea that if she hits, mommy doesn't want to play anymore. Use the same idea for when she is playing with the little girl next door. If she hits, she gets taken away from the little girl, and the fun, and gets no extra attention for what she has done.
This has worked for me three times, and I really hope it works for you. Good luck :)
~Dawn ↑ |
| Name: jouwhoo | Date: Dec 2nd, 2008 12:10 AM |
VonDoomsMom,
I have an 8-, 6-, 2-year-old and a 4-month-old. I know exactly what you're going through. It's just a stage. Cadie is in her "terrible twos". My daughter is 2 and hits my 4-month-old. I try to explain to her that she needs to be gentle, that hitting hurts. She then kisses him. She's always beating up on my older kids and taking their things. I've told them that they need to just share with her until she can understand better. Maybe you can explain to the 6 and 7 year olds. ↑ |
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