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today i gave my daughter lunch money she bought a hot dog drink and a snack. she went to the bathroom and when she came back it was gone. then i found out that a 6 grader was beating her up i am so angry she is so scared. shes going through alot right now with me and her father being seperated that she just doesnt need this. i have already removed her from one school because of this i just wish she would have told me sooner so i could have done something sooner ↓
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| Name: cherisalorraine | Date: Feb 14th, 2008 1:47 PM |
| You have already moved from one school because of her being bullied? And now it is happening at a new school? Wow That is bad! Have you put her into counseling? Sometimes kids allow bullying to happen because they need some type of emotional feeling that is not connected with things at home! Have you had any one talk to her that might help her understand why she is a target and how not to be one? Sometimes getting a child in a program that builds confidence can help a lot! ↑ |
| Name: maxieellis | Date: Feb 14th, 2008 2:44 PM |
If you havent already...DO. Begin a journal in a letter format...and send it off to the school. Keep a copy. Check for a response. Respond to the response...keep a copy. Do this in a repeat fashion if necessary. If you dont get a sufficient response or action,.....send the copies (after you made more for your records) to the superintendent of the school district your in. You will have to follow this up...both by phone/meeting or in writing. Dont......let up.
The problem so many face is that by ONLY having a verbal discussion on the matter regardless the number of those meetings....you will likely NEVER see real action. Only....verbal red tape...and often, indifference. In other words. Inaction. Parents must...submit a written document...and continue such action in order to get to the bottom of any situation.
Continuing to move your child from school to school will not solve the problem....and ultimately cause more damage.
You need (IF you havent already)....take the time. And do it again and again...if necessary. ALWAYS with a respectable tone. But again as i mentioned to someone else....NEVER hedge the reason for you letter and the expected outcome. ↑ |
| Name: staceykelley | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 12:04 AM |
| so after talking to my daughter last night she went to the teacher after being hit ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 12:18 AM |
have you talked to the parents of the girl who is bullying your daughter? or i wonder if that would make things worse for your daughter?
maybe you should tell your daughter to smack her!! ok i'm only kidding!! that's not a good idea....
yeah....bullying is a tough one....cause you don't want to make a big scene about it, so it makes life harder for her, but at the same time it shouldn't be something that you ignore. maybe your daughter should take some councelling or something, to help gain her confidence back, so she can stick up for herself. not in a physical way, but to show the bully that she not afraid of her....
i don't know...i've never had to deal with bullies before. but looking at my daughter with her brother, i'm afraid she's a bit of a meanie!!! lol....
good luck and i hope you can find a way to resolve it!! :-) ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 1:58 AM |
you must speak with your teacher alone first. Open up to possibilities that maybe your daughter is contributing to the bullying (not saying she is) or could possibly not be happening at all!
Some kids use the emotional card as a way to get attention from the parents. e.g Nobody likes me, I eat lunch alone...People steal from me, I am bullied....these are powerful to a mother...No mum wants to see their babies bullied or alone...or worse still THE BULLY
The more reaction you have, the bigger the story gets.
Im not saying this is happening to your baby...and she truly is getting singled out and bullied. Changing schools is not going to help you or her in the long run.
IMO you have to help change your daughters view to being stronger or more vocal to supervisors. Changing your daughter will be more positive for her and it will help boost her self esteem. Do a drop -by school and have a look at her in school environment without her knowing. It may not show bullying, but it may tell you a bit about how she copes with school.
My solution, make sure your child has friends who go with her to the teacher...tell her that telling on someone who is hurting her is not wrong or will get her more bullying. The teachers listen if you have two, three or more kids constantly telling her / him that so and so is bullying / stealing / hitting someone.
They tend to overlook protesting if it is coming from a lone source..they will really overlook it if no evidence or proof is shown that a kid bullied them.(boy who cried wolf) All they can do is re-tell the class about bullying.
When a bully approaches menacing tell your daughter to stand up and move towards a supervisor. If she is told by the bully that she is a coward and gets laughed at...tell her to tell them how big they are picking on a ?? grader. Practise with her in front of the mirror (im not kidding :-)
Bully's pick their victims carefully, it is usually those kids who are not very confident, those who have a low self esteem with peers...they dont want to make waves and be stared at so they allow the bullying and intimidation to happen. Bully's can sniff these kids out.
She MUST get stronger, you are there to help her, saying you sent her to counselling is IMO not enough, not all counsellors are good. It is a fact, the school system isnt able to correct bullying, so if they cant control it, you have to!...otherwise it is a precedent to life habits.
goodluck
P.S I dont mean to say any of this is applicable to you and your situation, but it could be :-) ↑ |
| Name: .RoSey. | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 2:03 AM |
thats really sad.. i too was bullied at most of my schools.. I didnt have any friends either and its such a darn horrible feeling.. really ruined my self esteem...
Get her to talk to someone and make the school take action !!!! Bullying is NEVER ok. ↑ |
| Name: staceykelley | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 4:20 AM |
| we went right to the pinciple today and sure enough the girl who is hitting my daughter is known for that shes been caught a number of times ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 9:55 AM |
| then I would be asking the principal WHY that kid hasnt been expelled? ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 5:01 PM |
these ladies here have stated everything I would have.
When my daughter was in kindergarten she started to get bullied......I did not go to the school right away, I phoned the parents of the child......This stopped it instantly.......The school was upset I did not go to them first, but I thought I would take it to the parents first....IT WORKED! and they turned out to be good friends. ↑ |
| Name: homemommichele | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 5:46 PM |
| I was bullied as a child, and it hurts so bad. Can ruin a persons self esteem and can take long into adulthood to ever recover. Some schools have programs to stop bullying at their school and I would speak to the principal about it. Since all the shootings the past 10 years many schools have developed a zero tolerance policy for that. Our school had one when my son was in kindergarten, and a few Moms and I were chatting, and we are thinking of asking our principal to repeat it as ours were so young then and many seem to have forgotten it. ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 7:15 PM |
| when I was in highschool there was this girl there. i think she had mental problems or something....schizophrenia or something like that....anyways, when people would walk past her she always hiss and growl at them....and everyone was always so mean to her....i felt so bad for her....and she'd always hang out in this one bathroom or in the corner of the hallway next to the bathroom....so whenever I'd be skipping class, which was alot...lol...i'd go and talk to her, and give her candies and stuff....lol....she was a nice girl...and at least she wouldn't growl at me,.....lol... ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 15th, 2008 7:16 PM |
| but yeah....even my friends would be mean to her...and i'd get so fkin' mad at them....just leave her alone you know? ↑ |
| Name: K-beth | Date: Feb 16th, 2008 3:12 AM |
| here in texas if a student physcaly harms another student then the cops are called first then the parents who pick their kid up from the jail house. The kid then faces court charges and a jugde desides what happens to the student if it were a fight with more than one agressore then all students involved are treated the same no matter who threw the first punch. That aplise to 6 grade and up. If the school wont do anything about it and it is know that the student has prirers then take it to the cops. This day and age crimanals are getting younger and younger. Put your girl into karate or self defince class just to impower her agian not to be violent. Or maybe ballet some thing to let her grow and blossem a place to make new friends somewhere she can go and be someone else for a llitle while cus' we all need to excape from time to time from everyone and everything. That may let her releese some anxiatie. I put squeaker in karate when the probs w/ ex were just begaining and for 1 hr 3 days a week she would pretend to be a warrior princes training to save her people from a tirant. ↑ |
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