| Name: kelly_02 | Date: Feb 24th, 2009 3:11 AM |
im 20 and have two little step kids...my bf of now two years has been married before and so came the little girl now 6 and little boy now 3...ive watched them grow sent them to school and brought them out of a bad enviroment! they have been staying with us since i got seriously involved with thier dad..their mum sort of just layed them off with us like she was giving us a present! we put them thru school and do all the things family does but then every second weekend they get to go to her from friday after supper til sunday after lunch! because i have been living and rearing them for so long i know how they are and feel how they feel(sometimes) the mother and i had a fall out because of verious things and that includes them calling me mummy and her mommy C...(her name i will not share at this piont) should we be friends or not speak at all? i love these kids to bits and because she has custody of them stil she can take them away from our happiness at anytime! im scared but really want these kids to be healthy and happy!
please help! ↑ |
| Name: step mom | Date: Mar 26th, 2009 7:11 PM |
| my step son is destroying my marriage he lies, cheats and totally hates me ↑ |
| Name: kendall | Date: Apr 8th, 2009 12:50 AM |
| i am upset because his ex is trying to come after everything. When we have them more then she dose, and she gets the child tax and more. Its week on week off. On her weeks she brings them here and he drives them to school and picks them up. she has it so good. Trying to say that he could be making more money then he is now. ↑ |
| Name: Meems | Date: Apr 13th, 2009 1:20 PM |
| I have a 14 yr old stepson who is very disrespectful and defiant. It is having a toll on my marriage. My husband tries with him too, but he still wants to control the household. I really dread when he comes over. I am afraid that it is going to rub off on my 2 yr old who get highly upset when he is acting out and carrying on like he is 2. Any advice how I can not keep from kicking him out of the house for good, or until he can learn to treat us with respect. ↑ |
| Name: Joanna | Date: Jul 4th, 2009 1:09 PM |
| I am having my first son with my husband and I also have a 2 year old stepson. I feel like a monster because I don't get excited at all when my stepson comes over for his weekend with us. My husband and his ex-wife had a baby because they thought it was the next step, even though he wasn't in love with her. Sometimes I just resent the fact that his ex gave him his first child and I won't. I grew up in a split family and hated it and I told myself I would never marry into one, yet here I am. I knew what I was getting into, but it still hurts when I think about my husband maybe favoring his son over ours because of guilt. I also hate the fact that his ex will always be a part of our lives as long as we live. It makes me so angry that I sometimes ignore my husband and don't do too much with him and his son when we have him. Maybe I'll feel differently after my son is born (end of this month). He also makes a lot of money and pays a crazy amount in child support which makes me sick. ANyways, I needed to vent before I exploded...I hate these darn hormones! ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: Jul 15th, 2009 8:58 PM |
| I am so frustrated with the way I am feeling. I realized today that I am jealous of my 16 yr old stepson. The one thing my husband and I did without children wsa golf. He took his son golfing tonight while I stayed home. I have 3 children and he has the 1. Golfing was all we had that did not invovle children and now his son is involved. I am so angry for feeling this way. I am so angry that he would take this from me. Any suggestions??? ↑ |
| Name: lesley | Date: Jul 16th, 2009 7:49 PM |
| k i am having a really hard time dealing with my fiances children. we both have a boy and a girl the same age... they are totally different. i feel guilty but i compare them constantly. i expect kids to behave, mine do and his are horrible! the dress sloppy and have no manners. this is very shallow of me, but today his daughter came home with the most horrible hair cut... she looks awful, and my daughter is so pretty and well kept. i wish i didnt think these things, but i do... and it is going to drive me insane. ↑ |
| Name: Pam | Date: Aug 21st, 2009 2:51 PM |
| I married my current husband 4 years ago and along with him came two daughters. Their mother died of cirhosis of the liver at 36. The youngest daughter was 4 and the othe 9. I stepped in and starting raising these girls along with my 11 year old son. Their father was soon deployed to Iraq and I was left by myself to put together the pieces. I love these girls with my entire heart. The youngest calls me mom becaue she dose not know her mother, but I make sure she does know she has another mother in heaven. Tne oldest now 14, I think is starting to take what was a wonderfule relationship and...well I can't figure it out. I am guessing that she is not old enough to realize that her mother is not coming back and I am what is left. I feel that she is taking it out on me with her anger, disrepsect, etc. I send both girls to comfort zone camp to help them deal with the issues. I am only good if she needs money or needs to do something. Does anyone have any suggestions as I know I am not her real mom and would bring her real mother back if I could. I gave up my single free life with my son but I gained a wonderful family. Just need help with the oldest!!!! Thanks. ↑ |
| Name: Teresa 7 | Date: Sep 12th, 2009 8:25 PM |
| I am a step mom of what I thought were 2 great well behaved girls (9,10). I have 2 kids of my own and understand that children need alone time with all parents involved. Recently my husbands(we are recently separated and working on things), his oldest daughter was telling her mom and his family lies about me and we worked together and got to the bottom of that. But most recently I went to pick him and his kids up and as soon as I got there his oldest started crying saying she didn't want to go, she admitted to him that she was jealous because all she wants is alone time with him and doesn't want to share.He has allowed this behavior and I had to turn around (45 mins) drive to come back home alone. I see this as manipulative behavior and am trying to work with him on this issue. When the kids are here we all do stuff as a family and have fun. But he claims that is a front his kids were putting on.I feel like if I walk away from him then I will appear to be selfish, but I honestly don't know what to do.We have been together for 2 years and this behavior just started in the last 6 months. I've explained to him that jealous behavior is normal but shutting me out will not help the situation it will only show the kids that it's okay to do this and they always get what they want.Any advice? ↑ |
| Name: Laura | Date: Sep 17th, 2009 2:31 AM |
| Omg I am so frustrated and all I want right now is some advice from someone who has actually been in similiar shoes. ↑ |
| Name: Laura | Date: Sep 17th, 2009 2:41 AM |
| I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years, we have known eachother since junior high. He has two daughters one is 16 and the other is 20, I have three kids two boys and a girl. My kids absolutly adore him and the idea of us. His kids are new to his parents being divorced and I am the first women he has dated since the divorce. We have had some pretty major ups and downs with his two girls. The oldest is getting ready to have a baby and unfortunately her and I just cant get along. We both tolerate eachother but that is about it. His other daughter is very wishy washy with her feelings. One minute she treats me like I am the best and she loves me to death then the next she is rude short and basically cant stand to be around me. I am not too worried about the oldest cause she is venturing out into the world. But the youngest I am just so upset over. I have been so bonded and close to her and then its the complete opposits. I am really getting tired of trying over and over again, but I dont want to give up, but I amso close to doing so after being burned over and over again. Anyone have any advice? ↑ |
| Name: Laura M | Date: Sep 17th, 2009 2:51 AM |
| I really need some help regarding my boyfriends two daughters. Anyone available to help? ↑ |
| Name: Amber | Date: Sep 28th, 2009 7:43 PM |
| Name: Confused Stepmom | Date: Oct 6th, 2009 5:09 PM |
| Is there a chat room for us confused stepmoms? ↑ |
| Name: K | Date: Oct 19th, 2009 10:20 PM |
| I have raised my husbands kids for 7 years. My step-daughter was a compulsive liar from age 12 on. She would make up el aborate lies about the police being called on us. (We are boring non-drinking types). Her mother would give her secret money and cell phones. Allowed drinking, smoking and god knows what else. Flash forward- she 18 in college and is always manipulating her family out of money. She and her father have reconciled and she is apparently coming home for the weekend. I don't trust her and don't want her in my house unsupervised at all EVER. What should I do? ↑ |
| Name: BabyLovin | Date: Nov 10th, 2009 7:27 PM |
So I am a step mother to a wonderful little boy, and I do not find it offensive at all that someone else's kid starts calling the step mother "mom". My stepson calls me moma nd I call him my son, because if we come to reality here, the word "STEP" is a very ugly word in my opinion, nothing good has come iwth that word. I believe that if the kids choice is to call you mom or dad when you are not, they should be able to. Now if you or your partner are teaching this kid to call you mom or dad out of despite to the other partner, then I completely agree that is completely wrong.....
My stepson started by callin me by my name and little by little started switching it up. And ended up callin me by mami. and completely changed it to mom. I always told him, no its not mom, its "my name" but he wouldn't want to call me that, he told me he wanted to call me mom, and when anyone else referred to me by my name he would tell them, no that its mom. So if someone told him, go take this to "my name" he would be like no that's mommy. So after months of fighting with him, I decided if he wants to call me mom, then that's his choice, not me forcing him. because i do love him oh very much like if he were my own. His real mother was bothered by it at first but when she noticed it was the baby that wanted to call me that, she had no choice but to adjust to it, because again, that was his choice, and he would not change his mind. He has grown so much in my heart. that i consider him my baby too. So to all the step mothers out there, that love their step kids as much as I love mine, don't change, or feel guilty for anything, because you are too his/her mother as well, because you will care for him, just like you would your own kids.
But the kids mothers... that's another issue, always drama. But you know what... just let it be, and live your life with you man/girl and be happy.
God BLess! ↑ |
| Name: BabyLovin | Date: Nov 10th, 2009 7:39 PM |
Woman with problems with their step children....
BE PATIENT.... jealousy will not solve anything, you have come and think about how to deal with them. If you're kids are going with their father and his girlfriend, how would you like their "step mom" to treat them??? You want her to judge them and compare them to her own kids, saying her kids are better, at everything... NO! You dont want that for your own kids, so why do it to your partners kids? You ar ewith him because you love him, so you have to love him with the whole package!!! & that includes the kids, the kids are not at fault that the parents are not together. So its our duty as stepmoms to try to make the time with their dad the most enjoyable time, because they wanna be with their dad, but they have to learn that the dad has a woman in his life, so you treating them good will let them know that they also wanna be around you, not just the dad....
YES THE KIDS SHOULD ALSO HAVE ALONE TIME WITH THEIR DAD, EVEN IF THAT INCLUDES GOING GOLFING !!! dont take that away from them either!!! Don't give them a reason to dislike you. Yes it is harder twhen the kids are older, but find something you might have in common with them and try to bond with them that way....
because you getting along with the kids, makes your relationship with your partner even closer and stronger...
just my opinion... GOOOOOOOD LUCK!!! ↑ |
| Name: marvella | Date: Nov 15th, 2009 1:08 AM |
| I want to love my step daughter more and more every day. ↑ |
| Name: marvella | Date: Nov 15th, 2009 1:11 AM |
| step kids are the greatest we have to remmember that. ↑ |
| Name: Sue | Date: Nov 21st, 2009 3:35 PM |
| I really don't know what to do. I am at my breaking point. ↑ |
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