| Name: Donna | Date: Oct 31st, 2011 10:18 PM |
| Jessica, I think since you have not had the response from your husband you need then you need to set ground rules. You should never be disrepected in your own home. It sounds like they need a stable person in there life. Not a wishy-washy parent. I have to play that role in my job a step parent. In the long run My step son knows I'm the stable one and will come to me with an ouchie and walk past his mom. Children need structure. ↑ |
| Name: Donna | Date: Oct 31st, 2011 10:27 PM |
| I need help also. We are a combined family (my two and his one) We have my step son 60/40 and we love it. But the problem is that the boys walk home together after school and she come about 5ish to pick him up. During that time my children have chores, homework, band practice etc... More or less we have quiet study time. I started this year having him do his homework along with the others. I was informed not from the Ex (she is scared of me) but thru my husband that she does not want me helping him with is home work. Thats all good but what do I do with an 11 year old in the winter when everyone else is doing there chores and homework. He thinks he gets to play video games and watch cartoons. Not. That is not fair to my children who are working hard. What would you do? ↑ |
| Name: Sarah | Date: Oct 31st, 2011 10:30 PM |
| Sara - What your step son is doing is cyber-bulling and sounds like he is bullings your daughter. I wouldn't stand of it. That is serious. You need to protect your daughter and talk to the police. ↑ |
| Name: Ashley | Date: Jan 10th, 2012 7:31 PM |
| Hello I am a stepmom to a 3 year old little boy. Is there anyone I can talk to need some advice ↑ |
| Name: sandy | Date: Feb 18th, 2012 1:52 PM |
| I need some advice-I beginning to think my marriage depends on it. i remarried 4 years ago. My husband is a widower wtih two kids,son-17 daughter 15. I have 3 daughters, 21,15,9. When we first got married everything was better than I expected because their mother had passed away I truly thought of them as my children. Things have drastically changed. My stepchildren:especially my stepdaughter is very rude and disrespectful. She used to come to me for everything from asking to go to out to signing school papers. -now she has completely isolated me and goes to her father for everything -only talks to me when her father is around-he sees how ungrateful she is but would never approach her on the subject. They have more of a spousal relationship(not sexually by any means) than we do. He cant see it. I understand sometimes through a loss a parent substitues as opposite sex child as a "surrogate spouse" Has anyone else had this problem? My husband thinks I am crazy . I think if my husband would just correct her disrespectful behavior she would see we are a united team. I would never allow my children to treat my husband like he allow his daughter to treat me. Thanks for any advise-I am ready to go to counseling ↑ |
| Name: Jen | Date: Mar 8th, 2012 9:02 AM |
Hi. I'm up late tonight with a sick feeling in my gut. I'm a recent breast cancer survivor who is not on good terms with my 26 year old step-daughter that I mostly raised since she was 6. I have wound up an angry bitter woman and feel like my step-child and myself were put in the middle of a relentless war that carried on for 20 years and I never felt like I could be myself. I love her and have tried to reach out to her today via e-mail but, I feel like since her relationship is finally a good one with her biological mom, that she is cutting me out of the pictures, erasing me from our lives together. I feel like I failed although my husband tells me I did a wonderful job. My therapist says that at 26 she really is not a full fledged adult yet and that at that age she could still be in that self absorbed stage. I need to let go of the worry for my own preservation, but how do you erase 20 years of good and bad memories and think that you wasted
your life on this toxic blended family? Thanks for listening. ↑ |
| Name: Jen | Date: Mar 12th, 2012 10:26 PM |
Well, it's official. My 26 year old step-daughter sent me a long letter outlining the reasons why we won't have a relationship. I have not responded. Should I, do I? It seems like non-sensical banter just like with her mom when she was but a 6 year old child. I feel sick to my stomach but strangely enough this feeling of relief has also overcome me. It's like eversince the custody battle some 20 years ago, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, and now it has. I'm done apologizing for things that were out of my hands. With my fight with breast cancer this is the last thing I need in life. We f'd up. We gave her everything her little heart desired, she never went without anything or our time spent with her. This I believed has made her a snot nosed, disrespectful, immature person.
I shared this with someone who went through a similar experience who knows my step-daughter. Their response was "her loss and by the way, the last time I spent time with her she behaved like a first class bitch and thry thought boy, her husband sure has his work cut out for him.
Mixed feelings, uncertain of what to do but it sounds like there is in fact nothing "to do or say." Any advice out there, step-mom's or biological mom's? I'm hurting terribly. ↑ |
| Name: LucyJaneLane | Date: Jun 22nd, 2012 3:15 AM |
| newly married (both 27 yrs old never married)and new step mom (girl age 8)....help!!!! i am overwhelmed. Its harder than I thought. I love my husband and stepdaughter so much but wow...Im worn out. Dont get me wrong they are both so great and the real mom is cool too but its just s much change. I try to be a good wife and a good step mom and at the same time work and try to maintain my sanity. Plus we are so poor and so much money goes to child support, kid health ins, dance stuff. We also get her every weekend too! He works nights an his days off are wed and thurs. Mine are sat and sun. so i am pretty much on my own with her every weekend. I feel like I work 7 days a week with no break. On his days off he is at home alone and free to relax. I have had to get a second job because we are broke. We have only been married 4 months :( I feel stressed, over worked, over looked and unappreciated. They are both so great and so nice that i feel so ashamed of how I feel that i just bottle it up. I dont regret getting married but geeezzzzzzz i was never this broke, stressed or this emotional when i was single. HELP!!!!!!!! ↓ ↑ |
| Name: Bb | Date: Aug 23rd, 2012 3:11 PM |
| The rundown : Me and my boyfriend are engaged we have been together/lived together 2 years! His son is 4 we have custody his mom only acts like a mom during important milestones rest of the time dont hear from her, i also have a 16 month old daughter her dad has never been in the picture! Problem: i take care of My fiances son who is 4 his dad works allllll the time! I feel as if i treat him as my son (never have i brought up the mom issue with him only talk good about her) but i feel i have to step to the side when she decides she wants to be a mom! But what about all the other days shes no where to be found! This is really affecting me an not sure i can handle this, and its causong problems with me amd my fiance! I wouldnt not act like this if she was in the picture and did the things a mom has to do for there kid she dont so i stepped up since he was two! My fiance does think anythings wrong "thats his mom she deserves to be apart of his life" [[ which i completely a agree that a mom deserves to be apart of thier kids life! But if your going to be a mom be one not only when its just convient for you or to show the kid off like youve been being a mom all along!!! I dont know how to cope with this.... Help!! ↑ |
| Name: Amanda | Date: Jan 31st, 2013 1:39 AM |
| I am a step mom to 3 kids. They are 10, 9, and 7. I have been in there lives since they were 5, 4, and 2; my husband (their father) and I have a 19 month old together and are married. The disrespect started about 3 years ago and has progressively gotten worse. I am at my wits end. They have come together and now want me out of the house. We have tried to talk to them and my oldest step daughter just said that she wants to relax. And the other two just say I don't know. I am so clueless and need some outside help. Please help me to understand this. ↑ |
| Name: michelle | Date: Oct 15th, 2013 6:34 PM |
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