| Name: emily hawkins | Date: Feb 6th, 2009 11:57 PM |
| He never says I love you no more. ↑ |
| Name: vicky | Date: Feb 7th, 2009 4:14 PM |
I have the same problem my husband works alot but never takes me out for dinner or out any place.
we have sex, but i feal that he has no consideration for my fealings.
I see uther cuples go out but i have not been out with him for about two years. Some times i feal that he has been seeing some one eles he did call the chat line a fuew times. I just feal lonly some times. ↑ |
| Name: Emily D | Date: Feb 26th, 2009 7:02 AM |
| I am in the same boat. I have been married to my husband for 5 yrs and we have one child. I lost my job about 7 months ago and been home since. Just like you, I dont regret having a job since it wasn't something so great anyways. My husband works late hours and I am starting to suspect that he may be cheating on me mentally...if that makes any sense. I doubt he's seeing someone on the side because whenever I call him he answers the phone and I hear his colleagues from work in the background. Although, I do feel that it is a possibility that he may like someone from his work and possibly fell out of love with me a long time ago. We havent made love in over 3 weeks and before that he didnt even touch me for 2 months. When he comes home from work, its just a peck on the lips and thats it. There are times when I also think about how lonely I am and I think about my ex which I havent seen or heard from in 15 yrs. Maybe because he was the last man I had fallen in love with before my husband. I dont know what all these feelings mean but I know its not something right or healthy? ↑ |
| Name: Helen | Date: Mar 12th, 2009 2:48 PM |
| Yes. So very much. I am in the same situation. ↑ |
| Name: Tee | Date: Mar 14th, 2009 4:16 PM |
| I feel the same but my husband tells me that he loves me, but just doesn't show it, the romance is just not there anymore. He doesn't touch me the only time he kiss me is when i get ready to leave for work and that is a peck on the lips. ↑ |
| Name: FELICIA BARRETT | Date: Mar 17th, 2009 8:27 PM |
| my husband and i have 3 kids and 2 of them are not mine and 2 of them are his one of them we took in one is a lil boy that one is mine he is 12 mos and the a there is a lil girl that one is his she is 6 the one that ant mine and his is 13 years old he just fond out that he had a lil girl 3 mos a go the to girls now live with us the mom is in jail he had started to look down on me and his son he plays with the 13 year old a lot and lets the 6 year old do what she wants i think that he just dont need me and his son now i love him but i dont know what to do this has been going on sins 1/5/09 i cant talk to him every time i do let him know how i fill he wants to get in a spit spat i need to know what i need to do me and my son fills under appreciated ↑ |
| Name: charis | Date: Mar 22nd, 2009 8:20 AM |
| Is this real? Is that message real? Or is this some type of scam to hook people in? Everything written in that message is everything I am and have been going through. EVERYTHING! Except for quiting my job, but I did take a part time position that accommodates my husbands schedule. We don't share checking accounts, he pays his bills and the majority of the house bills, but I pay for my own bills (credit cards) I cannot ask him to give me money because I don't want him to think I need him in that sense. But when I am stressed and clearly in need of help, emotionally I can't go to him, when the main cause is because of him. He doesn't understand me when I say I feel like he doesn't love me, I've told him I believe he is still with me out of obligation to our kids... oh my goodness if this is real... I cannot believe how your situation fits mine to a tee... ↑ |
| Name: Jeanette | Date: Mar 29th, 2009 7:57 AM |
| Yes, sadly i'm experiencing it at the momment. My husband is a great provider, but I feel that he is not in love with me only loving our life....if that makes sense. He likes the life, but as a wife I'm feeling neglected and unloved. Married for 11 years and no you are not alone ↑ |
| Name: Bee | Date: Apr 15th, 2009 11:24 PM |
| Speaking on my own marriage, sometimes men only care about themselves. Still, you do need your own job if you can have one, because it gets you away from him and you interact with other people. My husband will hopefully soon be my ex. Can't take the mental abuse anymore. There is more than physical abuse, you know. ↑ |
| Name: lorraine | Date: May 11th, 2009 7:43 PM |
I know exactly how you feel , iv'e been there myself, i feel as i listen to you i am hearing myself talking. But you have to believe in yourself, and not feel guilty , he provides you with financial stability , but he is not providing you with the most important thing that matters to you and that is emotional ie the feel good factor support. You don't need that support from him and don't let it get you down. If you believe in yourself life can only get better for you and your children with or without your husband. You sound a good person doing the best you can. I mysef have two adopted children and i'm on my own , my husband left us after an affair he's had. But the one thing iv'e learned through my darkest days and iv'e had many, no matter the outcome we will have happiness because wer'e good people and deserve it. Have faith in youself and you wont need any emotional support from anybody you'l get it from within.
Have Faith in yourself it will give you strength believe me. ↑ |
| Name: neha | Date: May 14th, 2009 10:39 AM |
| i feel that im just used financial by him and i want to breakup ↑ |
| Name: carol | Date: Jun 2nd, 2009 10:43 PM |
| I understand completely and feel like we're married to the same man. It's been 20+ yrs. for us too, and everyday is the same for him while I feel like I'm falling apart. We haven't even shared the same bed for almost a year now and he doesn't complain. He seems to be fine just exsisting but I need so much more. There's no excitement, no tenderness, no compassion, I'm not sure we're even friends anymore. Maybe a separation would be good. Separation is supposed to make the heart grow fonder! Maybe it's time to find out for us both. ↑ |
| Name: Amanda | Date: Jun 17th, 2009 1:35 AM |
| If you love yourself, and I believe you do, you deserve to be happy, even if it means being without him. He should want to make you happy, it works both ways. I am in the same situation. Only I have been married 30 years. I know and feel in my heart he doesn't love me the way he used to. He treats me like I'm his sister. He shows no interest in my thoughts, my feelings, he acts like I am a pain in the ass, and I don't dare ask him for anything unless I have to, because if I do, then, I have to take care of him sexually. It makes me sick, and be glad he doesn't at least do that. You deserve to be happy with or without him. Good Luck, I wish you all the happiness you can find. ↑ |
| Name: Elaine | Date: Jun 19th, 2009 2:21 PM |
| I wish we could all meet up together and spend the day hugging one another. Our song sounds the same.I am sure that if any of us knew what we know now, we would have ran fast the day we meet our husbands. ↑ |
| Name: Amber | Date: Jun 23rd, 2009 2:02 PM |
| I'm having the same problems. Ever since me and my husband have moved out to Oklahoma, his former home, he spends more time with everybody else than he does with me. We have been married two years next month. He doesn't kiss me anymore, he hardly ever tells me he loves me, maybe once every few days or right after sex. He brings me along when he goes out with other people but he ignores me the entire time and anytime I try to pitch into the conversation he either gets annoyed or he cuts me off. When I go to bed, he'll wait till about 2 hours before I get up to go to bed. We haven't had a single day to ourselves since we moved here a month ago. His friends talk to me more throughout 5 hours of hanging out than he talks to me in an entire week. He doesn't even want me to talk about my problems anymore neither. If he see me crying or upset he'll ask me what's wrong and the second I tell him I don't want to talk about it, he turns his back and just leaves me there. Which is unusual for him. He usually urges me to talk about it. Now he acts like he doesn't even care and is thankful he's not having to discuss it. I feel like just a shadow in his life. I'm always trailing behind him and that's it. He won't help me with anything, and anytime I suggest us doing something, he wants everybody else to come along too. He doesnt want it to be just us and he always gives me an excuse as to why so and so should come along too. The sad thing is, while it does hurt me alot, I'm so fed up with bending over backwards for him and being the only one to change, that I don't want to stop a seperation or divorce. I don't want it to happen, but I don't think it's fair that I'm the only one cleaning up the messes and doing all the work in this marriage. I think that back when he was in the marine corps, a month ago, he was just infatuated that someone loved him. But now that he is back home, he doesnt need me anymore. ↑ |
I understand. Ever since I gave birth to my son who is now 2 years old, there is very little passion in our marriage. More, from my end. My husband does love me, but so much is missing. I dream of when I was single, felt sexy and sexually fulfilled or simply had fun. When you are not in your element, you can only do so much.
As women, intuitively know what is right or wrong for us. We just need strength. ↑ |
| Name: texasmom | Date: Jun 25th, 2009 4:19 PM |
Reading through all the replies, and it's so sad how many of us feel the same. I, too, sometimes feel alone when I'm in the same room with my husband. He pursued me so heavily, was so madly in love with me, then we got married and sometimes it feels like all that has disappeared.
Someone gave me this advice a long time ago... "When you most feel like turning away from your husband, turn toward him." It really does help. When I am feeling ignored or neglected and just want to turn inward, I reach out to him and give him a hug. Or I initiate sex. Or I tell him how great he is. It really does help.
I haven't quite figured out how to end the vicious cycle...but it's somewhere in that advice.
And just one more thought... last week I really make the extra effort in my appearance (eye-shadow and all...). I wore some subtly sexy clothes, and we went out for the evening. Many men's eyes were drifing my way, and my husband noticed. Lo and behold, he had his arms wrapped all around me and remembered what it felt like to be jealous. It felt great! ↑ |
| Name: kj | Date: Jul 4th, 2009 1:31 AM |
| Yes, I have a similar, perhap worse situation. Making a long story short,I married a man in the church that promised to take care of me. I never wanted to have children and leave them to work outside of my home. Now after 13 years , he has decided to leave. He says he can't afford me. I buy nothing through him . My family helps me . Their school fee is paid by my church family. Most of my children's clothes is gotten without his help.( He does buy underwear and socks about once a year for his 3 children). We lived in the apt. of a church member so we paid very low rent . I even offered to baby sit. He says he's not staying unless I go out and work. The half has not been told. I married a wolf in sheep's clothing. ↑ |
| Name: Sally | Date: Jul 7th, 2009 3:02 PM |
| Also new to chat rooms but really need to get this out of my system. I am suffering badly from insomnia due to finding out recently my husband of 19 years has been having an affair with a co- worker mostly via email and text. They both claim it has stopped but the trouble is my trust in him is completely shattered and I swing between wanting to work it out and just wanting to walk away. He claims to love me - (pretty strange way of showing it) and says he doesn't want to lose me or the kids (15 & 17). My point is that he knew what he was doing was wrong and if he really does have the self restraint to stop crossing the line as he put it then why didn't he. My daughter is pretty vulnerable and suffers from anxiety and I don't want to rock her world at the moment by throwing him out. I'm guessing I am suffering from depression but I cant bring myself to go to my doctor for help. ↑ |
| Name: DENISE | Date: Jul 22nd, 2009 11:04 PM |
| YES ABSOLUTELY I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS NOW. WE GET ALONG GREAT AS LONG AS THINGS ARE GOOD.IF HE IS HATEFUL ITS OK, BUT IF I AM SOMETHING IS WRONG.I LOST MY BROTHER TO SUICIDE 3 YRS AGO,INSTEAD OF HIM HAVING CONSIDERATION FOR MY FEELINGS HE GRIPED ABOUT THE CELL BILL BEING 20 MORE THAN USUAL, HE ACTS LIKE I OWE HIM. WE HARDLY EVER TALK OR ANYTHING THE ONLY TIME HE IS AFFECTIONATE IS IF HE WANTS "SOME". I JUST FEEL COLD WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER. HE SAYS THE THINGS I FEEL I SHOULDNT BUT THAT IS WHO I AM. ↑ |
| Name: trish lightle | Date: Jul 24th, 2009 5:12 AM |
| Yes I do. I feel so crapy all the time anymore. I cry and cry and cry! He could care less. I don't know what to do any more. I'm sick of hurting like this. I feel so stupid I thought he loved me. I feel so hurt. ↑ |
| Name: susanhopkins | Date: Jul 27th, 2009 5:20 PM |
| i will like to love you for the rest of my life ok. you can call 0023775882117 ok ↑ |
| Name: Tonya | Date: Jul 27th, 2009 5:42 PM |
| Its like that with my husband too. He also says hurtful things to me too like your stupid and then just acts like I am the reason why everything is so screwed up. What sucks is that I love him so much that I don't know how to leave ↑ |
| Name: Gabby | Date: Aug 14th, 2009 5:14 AM |
I love my hubby and his kids are in the way they are grown I took care of them for 15 y ears 4 of them they didn't make the best choices and keep getting in our relationship....sholud I give up...I know he loves me ...what do i do?
Please help they are in my house after moving out they are back in and I am alone in an aptmt SOS ↑ |
| Name: Miserable | Date: Aug 17th, 2009 10:09 PM |
I have the same exact problem. My husband, like yours, provides for the family, loves his children. But, he is not passionate with me. I always start everything. I want him to come home and be the one who makes love to me. I understand he is tired. But, I need love and affection. His work consumes him. When he is at home, he is working. His coworkers call him all the time. We don't have time for each other. But, you know what? we are better then them. In reality we do not need them. They need us and if you/I are in this situation, we both need to sit down and draw a line in a piece of paper "What keeps me here, what doesn't" and take it from there. We both deserve better.
GOOD LUCK! ↑ |
| Name: Teresa | Date: Aug 25th, 2009 7:15 PM |
| I have been married for almost 30 years, since I was 18. My marriage has been good until about 5 to 7 years ago. We are not intimant. not by my choice, for about 1 1/2 years. I feel very lonely and confused. I don't want to give up on our marriage, but don't know what to do and he doesn't communicate very well. He doesn't seem to want to have much to do with me. I have mentioned separating and he really didn't respond with yes or no, but says he understands what I'm saying and he feels lonely to and doesn't know how to get back to how we used to be. Sometimes I feel like he might be having some type of relationship with someone else, but is so proud he would never tell me and would probably never tell me to leave or want a separation. ↑ |
| Name: Lynn | Date: Aug 27th, 2009 2:49 AM |
| I know exactly how you feel. However, we've only been married a little over a year, but we've been together for a little over 6 years. We now have a toddler. I've also tried to tell him my feelings and even asked if he was truly happy, but he doesn't seem like it's a big deal. Things go okay for a little while, then we're right back to where we were before. I also feel like I'm stupid because we don't have the major problems other women in my family have, but I don't want to be miserable and unhappy for the rest of my life either. ↑ |
| Name: Lynn | Date: Aug 27th, 2009 3:17 AM |
| I make excuses for the lack of intimacy like we work different shifts, I'm tired and busy, he's tired and busy, but we both have the weekends off. He's always preoccupied with yard work or other things. We go and do stuff all the time with other people, but never just us anymore. That's how it used to be and he was my bestfriend, but I feel like I've lost my best friend. Just the other day I suggested we go out for dinner, but that didn't happen. I'm frustrated too because I've gotten to the point where I could care less about sex (and that is so not me) I just want an intimate kiss or him to look at me like he used to, talk and cut up with me, or even just sit and cuddle with me. Not because I want him to, but because he wants to. Anyway, if anyone has suggestions, please share!!! ↑ |
| Name: Jay | Date: Sep 4th, 2009 8:44 PM |
Hi, I think I understand where you are coming from, although Im not in the exact same position as you.
I got married in Sept '08, and as this involved a relocation, had to give up my job. Since which, I have been unable to secure another job, and it has left us very tight for money, well at least me anyway. Ive had to give up so much. Yet, he complains when I dont support him, even though I believe I am being supportive. He also complains when I dont let him 'support' me, but I see his support as dictatorship and control. I was fine without him, and can still manage to do things now, so I hate him butting in where its not neccessary, this always results in fights.
Anyway, enough about me: I think that only you can make the choice to seperate. try writing a list of pros and cons. I understand you thinking about the children, but what about your needs. Yours kids would wantto see you happy, albeit at firstthey may not understand. I believe marrigae is supposed to make you happy, not make you sad. ↑ |
| Name: ashley... | Date: Sep 23rd, 2009 11:40 PM |
| Only every day of my life.... ↑ |
| Name: Me | Date: Nov 18th, 2009 1:11 AM |
| I just wanted to let you know I am in the same situation. I left my job in June and feel like the kids are my life and thats it... He never really say's or does anything nice and that makes me feel like he no longer cares for me. ↑ |
|
|
