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Ok girls, I know I could come on here for some honest opiions. As you know, once the baby comes, your sex drive takes a nose dive, especially if you're breastfeeding. Well, my fiance knows that I hate when helloks at porn, but as my mom says.."Most guys do it whether their wives no about it or not" Well he lied to me again and it's not like he's on all the time, but it's just the fact that he lied to me. I'm already a really insecure person as it is, so when he does it, it makes me not want to have sex w/ him anymore. I don't even know if I want to be w/ him anymore and I got a hotel room for tomorrow..Honestly girls, am I being ridiculous? 2 years ago I cheated on him, but he said he forgave me..I dont know..we usually tell each other everything, so it hurts when he lies to me...but other than that he's the ideal fiance and a great dad...I NEED BRUTAL HONESTY ↓
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| Name: soon2bmommy | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:26 PM |
| I wouldn't make that big a deal about it unless he is like glued to the computer 24/7. Or if he is more interested in porn than you. I dont mind my man watching the occasional porn movie (he does it when I am gone, and has his own little fun). I draw the line when he tries to look at a porn magazine when im down there doing him a "favor". But I would say, dont make such a big deal out of it unless he is obsessed with it. Which can happen really easily, so if he's not keep a close eye on him! ↑ |
| Name: mybabyboy | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:27 PM |
| I hate having sex period! My hubby looks at woman even though he says he isn't looking at anything, but I know he is. He doesn't look at porn or anything, but if I was to look he would get mad at me. Then he wants to have sex all the time and I just don't want to. I know I wasn't any help, but your not alone! ↑ |
| Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:28 PM |
| Maybe you could try watching porn together? ↑ |
| Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:29 PM |
| and kristy, im sure you are a beautiful person! ↑ |
| Name: soon2bmommy | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:30 PM |
| I know how you feel. I havent had normal sex since February. My man is too paranoid about hurting the baby. So he goes for the back door. And now that is down to once in the past month or so. Needless to say, I feel less than attractive. It does make me feel better though when he REALLY wants to, but he just cant do it. It's too afraid of hurting the baby :( . ↑ |
| Name: Whittni | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:30 PM |
| Hey I don't know. I found porn a few times but I just ignored it so i'm assuming he stopped. I dont know what to do if I were you but i wish you the best and i hope you can get it all worked out. xoxo ↑ |
| Name: mybabyboy | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:31 PM |
| I guess all woman feel unattractive after having a baby I sure did. JUst because he looks at porn doesn't mean he doesn't think your sexy. You should start worrying when he doesn't wan to have sex with you lol ↑ |
| Name: soon2bmommy | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:31 PM |
| Your sex life will come back. It's taking a vacation ;-). I dont know this from personal experience, but if it never came back nobody would have more than one kid! ↑ |
| Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:35 PM |
I think its just a guy thing (dont be offended)
I think guys just need some sort of unreal sluttiness sometimes. I havent noticed my fiancee doing it..but I havent been looking for it. He could be on his laptop now in his room looking at it. But at the end of the day, He loves you and your daughter so I dont think you need to worry.
Its a common thing that sex drives plummet...but if he knows you hate it, I would at least expect him to talk to you about it. ↑ |
| Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:35 PM |
| I meant knows you hate him looking at porn*** ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:36 PM |
| I hope I didn't sound to harsh I just re-read my post and I can see how that might hurt your feelings which I had no intentions of doing I just meant better to figure out early on if you can work things out rather than wait and make it harder for Harper. Your hormones are still out of whack to you just had a baby, you're aloud to be emotional. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:39 PM |
thanks guys...
m25..I'm really insecure and have suffered from eating disorders fr like 10 years I was super-skinnybefore the baby as y'all could see from my journal and now I feel like a whale..it's to the point where I dont want to go in public anymore and it's hard to be around harper..i'm on meds but I think i'm suffering from post-partum...I feel like my life is crashing in on me ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:40 PM |
| no I wasn't offended m25...that's wy I think I need to go away for a couple of days...we've been together for 5 years and lately he just makes me soo mad ↑ |
| Name: Nicolaaa | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:41 PM |
sorry kristy...I read that as if you had booked a hotel room for the two of you.
Well...personally, if you need time to breathe and think about the situation it's a good idea. It'll give him a night to think too. Maybe then he'll realise he's hurting you. But its COMPLETLEY your decision. Good luck :o) ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:43 PM |
| OMG Girl you look great I was just checking out your post the other day, I'm sorry you feel that way, maybe you should seek counciling. Your a beuatiful woman, you seem very smart from what I've read from your post, and very outgoing and extremely caring and compassionate. You have no reason to be insecure I saw how pretty you are in your pics and I bet sooooo many women are so jealous of you. Your depression could be whats ruining your sex drive, and if you think your having ppd PLEASE get help. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:45 PM |
| thanks..I dont know...I take prozac but i dont think it's cutting it anymore..anyways thanks for the advice ladies ↑ |
| Name: soon2bmommy | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:46 PM |
| We are always here to chat Kristy. If you think you have PPD, like others have said, maybe you should talk to your doctor (or a doctor). I know the board isnt as helpful as it was before, but at least some of us are still supportive! ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:49 PM |
| awww no you guys are great!! ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 6:57 PM |
well my husband and i don't own any porn, but his ex before me wouldn't let him have any. it doesn't matter to me if he watches it or not, and now that hes in Germany, im sure he has watched some, but i don't really care, because hes Coming home to me. we have actually never watched porn together, and i do actually want to watch some with him just fro the experience, and who knows we could learn something new.
im not to worried about our our sex drive, because when he finally gets home Tyler will be 6 months old and we would have gone quite a few months with out it.
but we have a very open and honest relationship, and and lieing is not an option, i think you need to let him how how you feel and make it clear that you don't like it, or some how find a common ground about it, ↑ |
| Name: jessie2 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:00 PM |
| If your man is looking at porn then you are not giving him what he needs. His next step is cheating on you if you don't get your act together. ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:01 PM |
| wow jessie that was kinda mean ↑ |
| Name: jessie2 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:03 PM |
| She said she wanted brutal honesty well I am giving it to her. You guys are just sugar coating it for her. I'm telling it like it is. I'm just trying to help her out so she won't get cheated on. ↑ |
| Name: soon2bmommy | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:08 PM |
| If you dont have anything nice to say dont say it at all. I look at porn, my man looks at porn, and im sure my grandmother looks at porn. Theres nothing about looking at porn that means your partner is going to cheat on you! ↑ |
| Name: jessie2 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:11 PM |
| She doesn't like him looking at porn and it bothers her. He doesn't care that she doesn't like it. He is being a typical ready to cheat man ↑ |
| Name: DaneseS | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:12 PM |
| ok..my husband and i i watch porn together sometimes...and we dont cheat...and wouldnt...i'm not ashamed to say we do we're both adults and in a loving commited relationship and sometimes want a little something extra to help spice it up. DOnt worry Kristy it in no way means he is going to cheat on you jessie probably just had a bad experiance ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:13 PM |
| ya ok, your just being stupid, i guess you have alot of experience with men cheating on you, but not every MAN is like that! ↑ |
| Name: mother2five | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:14 PM |
| omg jessie why are you going into all the posts and bashing ppl? your being rude ↑ |
| Name: proudmomjen | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:19 PM |
I was the same way about my husband looking at porn. Now I look at it as I would rather he looked at porn then to have him have sex with someone other then me. Let him know how it made you feel that he lied to you, explain to him again how him looking at porn makes you feel.
Maybe talk to you doctor in regards to post-partum. Speaking from experience with both my children, post-partum is not something you want to mess with. The meds you are on curranty may not be strong enough. I have to all my doctor next month if things do not get better with me as far as my post partum. Also I am telling you from the buttom of my heart you are not only a beautiful person on the inside you are beautiful on the outside as well. Please talk to you fiance and doctor about how you are feeling. I would hate for your post-partum or eating disorder to win the battle in the end. ↑ |
| Name: breemichelle | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:50 PM |
Well my husband looking at some porn doesn't bother me (his porn addicted friend gave him his porn collection when he was trying to get over his addiction and I had to draw the line there, but my husband was willing to let me throw it out)
But I know that some people have a serious problem with porn and think it's wrong. But to me it sounds like your problem isn't so much with the porn, but your own self esteem issues, I don't think you have anything to worry about with your husband, but you're never going to feel secure about it unless you work on yourself. I've had problems with depression in the past and sometimes I have to sit my husband down and tell him to focus and listen to what I'm going to say and explain to him that when I start slipping into the depression mode I need for him to help me. Even if in his view nothing seems as bad as I'm making it or I'm overreacting, in my mind it's HORRIBLE and he needs to help me and baby me and coddle me and just do whatever it is I need him to do to stop me from slipping all the way back into the depression. And it usually works, he'll give in and baby me for a few days even though he thinks it's rediculous and then I feel better and move past it. You may need something different than being babied so just sit your man down and tell him exactly what you need from him in order to get you past this and then once you're in a happier mind set then maybe the porn won't bug you so much. I'm actually thankful for the porn sometimes because if I really am not in the mood he leaves me alone and just does his own thing. ↑ |
| Name: question | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 7:59 PM |
| I don't agree totally that he is looking at porn because he's not getting what he needs form you.He is doing it because it is something he enjoys.My x bf had some porn and it never bothered me because he always said its so cheesy compared to our wonderful sex life... lol whatever. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy84 | Date: Apr 24th, 2007 8:16 PM |
| you guys are totally making me feel better...I mean jessie is right in a way b/c I havent wanted to have sex w/ hiim and that's when he lies to me about it. He's a 23 year old male and i should be glad that he's such a devoted father... ↑ |
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