| Name: Taylor | Date: May 21st, 2006 5:56 PM |
Jill you need to go elsewhere and advocate for mens rights. This forum is not about that. It's for single parents who are dealing with an issue and want some support. What's your negativity doing here. I suggest you go join a mens right's association. You can start by visiting http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mensrights/
and leave this forum alone. ↑ |
| Name: Jill | Date: May 21st, 2006 6:53 PM |
| I'm not necessarily advocating for men I am trying to encourage women to do the best she can without having to rely on men for support. I do however feel strongly that if a man is not interested in parenting that should be his right. There are too many woman out there claiming to be left in the dark when in fact the man has made his preference perfectly clear. ↑ |
| Name: Monique | Date: Jun 3rd, 2006 5:44 AM |
| Eventually he'll probably come around to want to see the baby. Although you'll probably have a lot of resentment toward him for not being there and treating you the way he has ----you have to think about your son. Don't let your feelings get caught up in selfishness and not allow your son to have him in his life - If he decides to be a man and own up to fatherhood. Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: Gil | Date: Jun 3rd, 2006 7:32 AM |
| I am here for you if you need anything. Children are a blessing and I'm sure you'll find that out. If you need to talk email me at: [email protected] hope you are okay ↑ |
| Name: meagan | Date: Jun 10th, 2006 4:27 AM |
| You two will be just fine. You've been blessed with the biggest blessing there is and for that you need to be thankful. Everything else should be secondary. Your priority is now your son. Take care and best of luck. ↑ |
| Name: MELISSA | Date: Jun 19th, 2006 6:31 AM |
| TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO THINK ITS ALL RIGHT FOR HIM NOT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS BABY ARE WRONG IFTHIS SOB DIDNT WANT ANY KIDS HE SHOULD OF USED PROTECTION . IN THE LONG RUN ITS THIS CHILD WHOS GOING TO GET HURT . ↑ |
| Name: ELAINE | Date: Jun 19th, 2006 4:00 PM |
| GIRL JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE I NO THAT SOUNDS HARD TO DO BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO BE UPSET YOUR CARRYING A BABY AND WHAT YOU FEEL YOUR BABY FEELS SO JUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF AND TRY TO BE HAPPY AND DON'T LET NO ONE GET YOU DOWN . ↑ |
| Name: Alyssa | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 7:34 PM |
| UPDATE...UPDATE..Thanks to all who have responded. I did leave him alone. His family contacted me and so did he last month. He now wants to be a part of the baby's life. He's been to the doctor with me twice. I'm still unsure of him. I know I have to do what's right for my son but I can't help but feel resentment toward him for everything he's put me through. He's still dating his 22-year-old girlfriend and won't answer the phone when I call him to tell him something about the doctor or the baby. Note: I've only called him twice and both times he happen to be with her so didn't bother answering my calls. Another thing now is that he want's me to give the baby his last name??????? and wants to go to an attorney to establish how much child support he's gonna give me, visitations, holidays, etc. He says he wants to do this now because once the baby comes we won't have time for anything....????? What do you guys think? ↑ |
| Name: mommyagain | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 8:24 PM |
| get it now girl... if he is wanting to support you take it while you can... chances are once the baby gets here he will be so spooked he may run again.... as far as the last name that is totally up to you. I personally would never give the baby his last name since you are not together or married.... just my opinion, ↑ |
| Name: Emma | Date: Jun 25th, 2006 11:19 PM |
| He don't care. good luck ↑ |
| Name: Tiffany | Date: Jun 26th, 2006 3:19 PM |
| Damn you know alot of boys these days will get you pregant and run out it worries me that he is 38 and still acting like a little boy when he should be an adult and take responsibilty for his actions.If he didnt want the kid he should have never not wore a condom. My ex is kinda doing the same we were when i first told him we were broken up and he told me to get an abortion I told him no I would never do that so we got back together and broke up again and he is still going to be in the childs life but he doesnt talk to me about the child.I was like doode grow up so i have been ignoring him and its been working he wants to call me now so just act like you dont need him around and maybe hell grow up ↑ |
| Name: Tiffany | Date: Jun 26th, 2006 3:22 PM |
| Oh btw there is plenty of men out there who are unable to have children who would love to date you I am sure you can date to just dont have unprotected sex and get a disease that can harm your baby. Yea I know im only 18 but I saw my sister go through it all so Im just sharing advice [33 goodluck ↑ |
| Name: stacie | Date: Jun 30th, 2006 11:38 AM |
| hi, I'm 19years old and nearly 6months pregnant. Although my story is slightly different to yours i know exactly how you feel. Me and my partner were together for a little while, about a month or so and then we found out i was expecting. i gave him the option to be with me and have our baby or for us to end and abort our child. i am not really one for abortions i dont really agree with it, but as growing up with my parents appart i knew i definately did not want to be a single parent, ive seen my mum struggle and i wanted it to be different for me. anyway me and my partner decided we would stay together and make a good life for a child, this is when i was 4weeks pregnant. we split up when i was about 16/17weeks pregnant but i hung on for hope that it would work out in the end when our baby arrived.... until at 20weeks i find out he has a new girlfriend! she has a child of 18 months which is heart breaking, why take on somebody elses child when you have your own mniracle to look forward to? i still love him and stupid enough i would take him back... he says he is going to stand by me emotionally, physically and finacially he hasnt really done any of it because his girlfriend doesnt like it! but i am reassured by numerous people it all changes when the baby is actually born, and that fathers dont like to leave their childs side. so i hope this is the case for me and anybody else in similar situations. its hard to not be with the person you want most in life but getting down isnt good for your baby, and its only the father missing out. i wish you luck and sorry for babbling on, its just nice to get everything off your chest every now and then. x x x ↑ |
| Name: stacie | Date: Jun 30th, 2006 3:51 PM |
| i'm 19, and my babies dad is 31... my mum keeps saying, WHO IS THE CHILD IN ALL THIS! men are scared of being tied down... thats my answer to them running off ↑ |
| Name: kat | Date: Jun 30th, 2006 7:34 PM |
| Hi guys, im in a different type of situation, im still with my man, we were trying for this baby for 2 years on and off,and we live together. im 29 weeks pregnant but i have coped threw the hole thing alone, i feel like he deosnt want to know me or our baby most of the time, any spare time he gets he would like to spend it with his brother drinking, i understand hes making use of the time he has left but what about spending a little time with me before the baby comes along, i have tried telling him this but we always end up fighting, like tonight. you can garentee every friday we fight and i end up alone crying (which cannot be good for the baby)coz he would rather be boozing up and all i want is some time with him.i know this is different to you, but i feel so alone, he does not like me talking about our problems to ANYONE.. i love him so much and would love him forever but i dont like the person he is becoming.. a alcoholic. hes even got us a mortgage for a house over the road from his brother the reason being he can go see his bro and if anything happens he can pop back home in seconds ..im gona be so alone.. should i stay with him...should i leave i want him to be the person i met 5 years ago will we ever go back...? tonight i said i would come with him to see his brother whilst they drank i asked for only 1 hour before we went to his brothers but he wanted to go there and then . but now im up here typing this whilst he is downstairs drinking alone ... getting more and more drunk by the minute i dont want to be in this house with him right now but have no where to go... i dont know what to do, he does want this baby but i dont think he wants me anymore.. i have tried so hard to keep him involved in the pregnancy but half the time he doesnt listen to me, he only tells me he loves me when we make up from a row... he never takes me out or treats me... he does not make me feel special.. and he doesnt ask how my day was how i am or how the babys is.. its all money and boose for him.. sorry im going on now probs boring u but i have so much bottled up please help my head is in bits im just not happy.. not as happy as i thought we would be...xxxkat ↑ |
| Name: TRICE | Date: Jul 3rd, 2006 3:10 AM |
| I AM KINDA IN THE SAME BOAT. I HAVE TWO KIDS, 3 & 4 YOA. ME AND THEIR FATHER HAVE BEEN OFF AND ON. FIVE MONTHS AGO WE WERE TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE AND BEING TOGHETHER AND BEING A FAMILY, UNTIL I TOLD THE SOB I WAS PREGNANT, NOW I AM ALMOST SIX MTHS PREGNANT AND IN THE BEGINNING I TRIED CALLING HIM, EMAILING HIM TALKING TO HIM WITH NO RESPONSE. I DONT TRY ANYMORE AND HE DOESNT CALL ME NOT EVEN ABOUT OUR OTHER TWO KIDS. ONE TIME HE CALLED ME AND ASKED ME HOW WE WERE GOING TO PAY FOR DAY CARE, WHEN I WAS 3 MTHS PREGNANT. THAT WAS THE LAST THING ON MY MIND. NO HOW ARE YOU, HOWS THE PREGNANCY GOING HOWS THE BABY.THATS THE ONLY TIME I HEARD FROM HIM UNLESS I WAS CALLING HIM ABOUT OUR OTHER TWO. HE DOES SEE THEM TWICE A WEEK AND EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. HE HAS NEVER BEEN TO A DOCS APPT AND HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT WERE HAVING ANOTHER BOY, UNLESS MY OLDEST SON HAS TOLD HIM. I DONT CARE TO TELL HIM. MY OLDEST SON ALSO LETS ON THAT HIS DADDY HAS SOMEONE LIVING WITH HIM(A GIRL) THAT DOESNT BOTHER ME MUCH BUT TO NOT WANT TO BE WITH ME IS ONE THING BUT TO DESERT ME WHEN I NEED HIM MOST FOR ANOTHER GIRL IS ANOTHER THING. IT PISSES ME OFF, HE CAN BE WITH HER BUT I STILL EXPECT HIM TO BE HERE FOR MY PREGNANCY AND OUR BABY WHEN HE IS BORN. I DONT KNOW WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO WHEN THE BABY IS BORN. I HOPE HES NOT STILL ACTING LIKE A SOB. ↑ |
| Name: Jean | Date: Jul 9th, 2006 5:32 PM |
| For everyone that is saying that it's wrong to push a baby on someone...IF YOU HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX THEN YOU'D JUST BETTER BE READY TO HAVE A BABY COS THATS WHAT HAPPENS!!! So lets stop feeling sorry for these lowlife creeps that aren't willing to take responsibility for their actions. It takes two to make a baby, lets remember that also! ↑ |
| Name: liia | Date: Jul 13th, 2006 9:51 PM |
| Name: stacie | Date: Jul 14th, 2006 12:07 PM |
| jean...? How can you seriously say that? obviously we know it takes 2 to make a baby but we also have the choice to keep it or not and when your partner says he's gonna stand by you then leaves then you cant blame yourself! i think you are really selfish for what you have said... Are you in the same position? your really not nice ↑ |
| Name: kirk | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 10:13 PM |
| good for you he will be a dead beat dad anyway, just goes to show that any guy can get a lady pregent but it takes a man to be a dad, but dont fret you will find a man who will be a dad to your baby, if you want to talk further email me [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: mary | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 2:01 AM |
| wow- i'm so sorry to hear that. its unacceptable. first of all he has no right telling you to leave him alone- he made this baby just as much as you did. he knew what could come of having sex- and now he has to step up to the plate. wether he likes it or not, this is HIS kid. he can't deny that . of course he would skip the doctors visit- that's his way of trying to lie to himself and get you off his back. he lies to you to try to ignore his responsibility. secretly he is freaking out with this and is fleeing. thats not right, and this is not YOUR fault by any means. he is taking everything out on you when he shouldn't. i'm sorry to hear that. you are a strong person- just remember that. as much as it hurts and is hard to be alone- prepare yourself to take care of this child. when you are feeling down just think of this wonderful little baby depending on you and loveing you to the fullest. you are its all and everything- no matter what happens it will always be you and this beautiful child together. ↑ |
| Name: stacie_h | Date: Jul 28th, 2006 10:54 AM |
Mary... thats a really nice comment. Cheered me up for today :)
my babies dad is away on holiday, Can afford hols but not afford the baby he chose to have with me? not a nice man i tell you that now... and am glad i'm not the girlfriend thats sat at home having to wory is he cheating again, because i bet thats going through her head every minute of the day! and she deserves it for taking my man in the 1st place ↑ |
| Name: t | Date: Jul 29th, 2006 3:08 AM |
| I'm in a similar situation. I am 5 months pregnant by a no good guy. He has other kids and told me before I even knew I was pregnant that he didnt want anymore. To make a long story shorter, I tell him things about the baby and he shows no emotion won't say anything acts mute you can say. Before I found out what I was having I asked him if he wanted to know what it was when I found out and he told me yea. Then I asked when it's born do you want to know and he told me yea. Lastly I asked him do you want anything to do with the baby and he will not answer this question. We met at work, and he has done everything to try to hurt me, he has tried to talk to a coworker right in front of my face and thinks it's funny.. Luckily she didn't follow through with it because she thought me and him had something going on but me and him would never admit it. I ask him to go to doctors appointments with me and he always makes some kind of excuse about not being able to. I showed him ultrasound pics and he seemed to be interested in them because when he was done it seemed that he didnt want to give it back to me because I found out what I was having with that ultrasound. I send him messages saying being that it seems that you don't care about this baby why should I continue being nice to you. And I do not think you need to know when it is born because you dont care. He tells me he's not going to say he doesn't care about the baby, he just doesn't show his emotions like that. He has disrespected me so much by trying to talk to that girl right in front of my face and she tells me when I am off that he is worse. We no longer work together. I am tired of dealing with him so I have decided to let him go, I have sent him a text stating that he doesn't have to worry about me bothering him anymore and he won't hear from me anymore until he is served with child support papers. So I'm going to leave it at that. If he wants to be a part of the baby's live when it is born that is on him. I am tired of trying to make him be involved. And this is my first child and will be his fourth and he is younger than me. ↑ |
| Name: davina | Date: Jul 29th, 2006 6:02 AM |
| All i have to say...without reading everyone elses response is....If he' wasnt ready to be a daddy then he shouldnt be having sex!!! plain and simple!!! yes u can look at the situation from both points of view....but The fact of the matter is...SEX makes BABIES!!! lol...if youre not responsible enough to be a parent....dont freakin have sex!!! how hard is that......id take his ass to court and milk him for all he's worth! ↑ |
| Name: davina | Date: Jul 29th, 2006 6:06 AM |
| he really should pay child support, even if u can support the baby on ur own....geez put the money away fro the kids college fund or something....guys have it so easy, it shouldnt be that way......too many times ive seen girls get pregnant then get abandoned by the father....he just up and leaves and gets away with it....thats not fair...and while u cant force someone to be a parent(in some cases its for the better)..u can still make them pay for it ↑ |
| Name: andreen | Date: Aug 1st, 2006 11:55 PM |
| He's not a man he's a boy , that's the first child for and he is acting like that but don't worry just PRAY and GOD will do the rest. GOOD LUCK ↑ |
| Name: chloe89 | Date: Aug 11th, 2006 2:35 PM |
| I can understand where your coming from. i wasnt with my ex for very long but i thought we were atually going somewhere. But when i found out i was pregnant it was a shock for both of us but he said i had to have an abortion or he would leave. i refused to have an abortion and he left me. Now im 36 weeks pregnant and havent heard a thing from him in around 5 months cause hes seeing someoone else wat shall i do??? ↑ |
| Name: Keisha | Date: Aug 11th, 2006 6:12 PM |
| DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE SAY NO TO CHILD SUPPORT OFFER!!! You do not know when that may come in handy and child support is for the child let him decide what to do with it when the time comes. Honey God may not give you anything you can't handle but as a single parent let me tell you he will give you 99.9999% of it. Keep your head up and be strong I know the one thing I miss when I was pregnant was being pampered and having someone to share the little details with, so I know what you mean when you say it's not the same with a family member. ↑ |
| Name: beth | Date: Jul 8th, 2007 11:24 PM |
| 1 am 21 i have a five year old daughter. She does not have a father in her life. I got pregnant when I was 15. she is curantly living with MY father. I am traviling all over the country selling gas powered equipment.I just started 2 months ago. me and my boy friend or ex-boyfriend. everytime he gets in a bad mood he tells me im on my own.I am 9 weeks pregnant.I completely trusted that when i came to this job with him ,that like for the past 2 years,I let him take care of me.That he still would. But since I'm pregnant.He knows I have no other options.so he doesn't care how he treats me.he says he's done with me every other day. I have to stay in a different room than him some times. So not only have I had one pregnancy alone. This one is just as bad. not only does he break my heart all the time,he puts stress on me that way.puting his /my child in danger. he never stopes saying he "Loves me with his whole heart" It seemes thats almost impossable. he says i better start making money selling.Because otherwise,Im screwed.and sometimes he makes me trust him again and be secure and then turns around and breakes my heart all over again.Most of the time I dont want to live.I'm scared.I know I sound like a baby but, I just needed someone to tell. ↑ |
| Name: guest | Date: Jul 28th, 2007 3:35 PM |
Well Alyssa,
I really feel for you. I am four months along and in a not great relationship. Just for perspective, think about this: what if he were this lousy to you and then demanded to be involved with your child? Do you want that kind of a man in your child's life? One who doesn't support a pregnancy he helped to create, who leaves his pregnant ex alone while dating another woman who he simply doesn't tell anything to?
I think with time you'll find somebody who deserves you, once you're ready for him, you'll meet him. And until then, at least you don't have to put up with an asshole trying to involved with your little one. It'll be much easier on you not having to compromise child-rearing decisions and not having to run anything by him, given his evident selfishness and way of thinking. Good luck to you. ↑ |
| Name: jodie | Date: Sep 6th, 2007 7:12 PM |
| alyssa i have been there and am there again i cn help u, please get in touch [email protected] with strength u can beat this and i promise things will get better no matter how much u bebleive they wont xxxxxxxxxx ↑ |
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