| Name: regina baroletta | Date: Sep 4th, 2007 7:07 PM |
| Hi sweetie, you can try to talk to your daughter and see why she is doing this you can talk to her and tell her that you are there for her give her a hug she may need it.Have she ever been on any medications? If not i defiantly would tell you to ask her pediatrition what medication would be right for her. If you have any other questions feel free to ask. ↑ |
| Name: angel24 | Date: Sep 9th, 2007 6:53 PM |
| it just a phase im 15 and my friend did this too now shes over it your daughter is just going through her emo or goth phase ↑ |
| Name: May | Date: Sep 12th, 2007 6:02 PM |
| Hi sandy. yeah um im 17 years old now and when i was 13 once i followed the wrong crowd and had this phase where cutting yourself was the extra cool thing to do. it will go away. try to push sports or extra things into her once i joined a new crowd of friends i stopped right away. i used to be a very angry lil girl and now im more happy then i ever was and im a senior in high school. just give it time and it hopefully will phase over. ↑ |
| Name: emalee | Date: Sep 29th, 2007 6:37 PM |
Hi Sandy,
umm, im fourteen, which makes me pretty good at this advise. I'm smart for my age, but ive been i guess you could call it "depressed" for the last 2 and a half years. i used to be bolemic, and anorexic, for a while, and it effected me alot. but then i stopped and started to cut myself. people do it to hurt themselves, yes, but they dont do it for attention 95% of the time. maybe when she was showing the grade 8's, they had asked to see it, and she trusted them enough to show them. because people who actually cut, arnt causing themselves pain to be able to show it to others. tell that to your daughters moronic principal. i think she's depressed, or has issues with boys, friends, or maybe even you and her father., but not something that unless you hit her, or scream at her way to much, you can controll. advise: dont scream at her about cutting, because it will only make her want to do it more, trust me. your probably doing not much wrong, but something like cutting, cant be forced upon to stop. you could admit her to a hospital, and it would only make her want to do it more, and deeper. its something she has to stop by herself, without the help of you. if she has been doing it for the past 18 months like you have said, its probably been more agressive at times, and not at all at others, and shes probably tried to stop for a number of days or even weeks, and then something makes her so upset that she decides to stop again. its defanitly almost like a drug - it can be adicting, and once you start for a while, you will have alot of troubles stopping because it does make you feel better or more in controll, its hard to explain, but when your doing it, it seems right. wearing all black and stuff, is probably just a fashion trend she likes, because "scene" is really in right now, and it may stop. not being happy anymore, meens everyday, nothings changed, and its hard to force a smile. you shouldnt overly worrie, maybe a little, because i dont know your daughter, or what she has to deal with, and i know that suicide is something that will be going through her head, but if she hasnt done it yet, she probably wont, because many people who cut, dont do it to kill themselves, at all. ↑ |
| Name: emalee | Date: Sep 29th, 2007 8:42 PM |
another thin,
dont put her on pills,
dont send her to a hospital,
dont do anythin like that,
because it often makes it worse,
take it from me, i cut, unfortunitly,
and ive been doin it less and less,
its hard, but its possible, and its because of ME.
not because my parents fund out, or friends found out.
when my parents screamed at me for it, i did it more and deeper.
just, dont make the same mistake as my parents,
its all im tryin to say.
with time, your daughters depression feelins may numb,
and she may feel normal aain, but its really hard.
dont be hard on her. ↑ |
| Name: wessiepooh12 | Date: Oct 8th, 2007 6:17 PM |
| give her space the cuts dont seem to be that bad. im going through the same thing. just give her space and either she has something she has to work out herself or she just wants to look cool for someone(possibly herself). if the cuts get deeper do something and im not talking about get over protective that will make it so much worse than it is.im talking about afterschool activities or something to keep her buzy! =) ↑ |
| Name: Mason1994 | Date: Oct 25th, 2007 2:16 AM |
| I am 13 and i've been cutting myself for a year. I dont do it because im depressed or mad, i do it becuase i like the attention. My school guidance counselor always trys to get me to admit to cutting, but i don't. And even though he thinks i hate being in their talking to him-i really love it. Your kid might be doing that too. Since she was bragging about it-it shows she is craving attention. You should think back to other things your kid has done and see if any of them were crys for attention, because thats wat it sounds like to me. especially becuase you said the cuts we not major. If she is really doing it for attention, she wouldnt actually cut herself severely. ↑ |
| Name: Malida | Date: Oct 26th, 2007 12:03 AM |
I'm 16 and used to be a "cutter" but mine weren't cat scraches..i was hospitalized for trying to commit suicide and the psycologist there said that when you cut its usually a release of some sort of emotions or feelings that you can't get out..its a rush of endorphins and its a type of control and coping mecinism....
I'm still in therepy but for other reasons besides the cutting, but you should try to get her to use other things to cope besides cutting if that is what she is using it for as a coping mecinism...maybe she is doing it for attention? when i cut i didn't tell anyone because i thought it was so bad, and something that should never be done i was ashamed..have you tried talking to her about what maybe be beneath it all?
I hope everything works out for the best and if you have any more questions feel free to e-mail me :)
[email protected] ↑ |
| Name: babyblueemmy1 | Date: Nov 16th, 2007 9:30 PM |
| hide any sharp objects ...and to give her alot of rubber bands...... have her put the rubber band on her rist and when ever she get the urge to cut she can just pull the rubber band!!! trust me this really works its who i stopped! check her body every day !!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Anne xoxo | Date: Nov 16th, 2007 10:11 PM |
| Shes doing it for attention. My niece did the same thing. The whole "poor me noone understands me" bit. She will get over it if you stop pussy footing around her. Tell her to grow up and that life isnt fair so she better get used to it. If she was really suicidal she would of done it the first time around properly. Sorry if I cause offence but I also saw one of my best friends do it till she admitted it was for attention. ↑ |
| Name: Anne xoxo | Date: Nov 16th, 2007 10:13 PM |
| And Id like to advise that "Getting her anything she wants" will just cause her to have you wrapped around her little finger. She will threaten to cut herself up everytime she doesn't get her own way. ↑ |
| Name: CtrlAltElite | Date: Nov 25th, 2007 5:14 PM |
| Yeah this is an old topic.. but i think i can help a bit. I'm a senior in highschool and Ive had the same girlfriend since I was in 8th grade. She was "emo" for the greater part of Jr. High.. but when she got into highschool... and with much encouragement from me.. she stopped cutting. I think it takes someone their close to... not necessarly a parent.. many kids feel that their parents do not understand them.. which, to an extent, is true. It takes someone that they are around and who they care for.. other than a family member to help them through it. If she has friends that encourage this... itd be better if she was around at least 1 or 2 positive influences. My girlfriend finally realized that through the support of me and her friends she could get through any trouble w/o having to cut, and that cutting helped nothing in the first place. ↑ |
| Name: Mali | Date: Nov 27th, 2007 5:12 AM |
| Hi I'm Mali. Before I give you some advice allow me to tell you a little bit about myself. I have been cutting since I was 12 years old. I started gutting because I was molested and didn't want to deal with it. The first time I did it I wanted to die. I didn't succeed but I got this amazing rush from it. As the years have passed I still continue to cut and each time it seems to get worse and worse. I am now 22 and have yet to beat this issue. I couldn't how many times I have been hospitalized for it. I am still in counseling for it know. The last time I cut was 11/7/07; I had to have 7 staples put in my arm. I have tried to stop so many times and have yet to make it longer then 9 months. I have a 3 year old and she is starting to under stand that mommy has booboos. Dhs has threatened to taker her because of it. The best advice that I can give you is to be there for her when ever she needs to talk. Don't yell at her or give punishment for it because it will make it worse. My mom still yells at me for it and I'm an adult. We didn't talk for about two weeks for the last time I cut. I did the black thing for a while but I thought about death a lot. I still don't where a lot of colors. I would ask her if anything has happened to her, and let her know that she won't be in trouble you just need to know. Cutting is almost like an addiction, once you start it is very hard to stop. You want it more and more. The more you want it the deeper the cuts get. ↑ |
| Name: cdodge | Date: Nov 28th, 2007 2:41 AM |
| Sandy, i'm sorry to hear about your daughter. If she is cutting her self then showing it off to her fellow 8th graders then it is most likely for attention, which is extremelly stupid and ridiculous. Cutting is not something for show and tell. Its a serious issue that your daughter needs to fully understand. People who cut not for attention have a reason, wether they are majorly depressed, abused, or confused they have a reason and cutting is their part or full time solution. Usually it comes and goes .. and being that your daughter is doing it for what seems like attention I'm sure it will pass. Is she getting enough attention from you her mother or mabye her father that would bring the cutting. She could be lonely or (if straight) trying to get a boys attention to show how much she likes him and to show how much it is hurting her that he may not like her back (another stupid reason to cut especiall if in 8th grade). I wish you luck with your daughter. ↑ |
| Name: goth boy | Date: Dec 2nd, 2007 4:19 AM |
Dear Sandy
Hello I wus surfing the internet wen i came acrost your problem and i sed to myself that i would try to help you. I am only 13 though i use to be emo (which means u cut yourself) and my mom confrunted me about it and sed she wus so worried and i told he it wus becouse her and my step dad got devorst. So i think you should try and confrunt her and say that your worried and ask why shes doing it. And if that dusent work try serching her room for knifes and grawnd her from comunication with her freinds intill she stops. i no im not gining very good edvise but naw that im not emo I ger so worred wen somone inflix pain on themselves like that....... if you ever wont to tolk e-mail me at [email protected] ill try to check my e-mail wenever i can.... oh and ther might be someone inflosing her at school.
Sincerly: Taylor ↑ |
| Name: goth boy | Date: Dec 2nd, 2007 4:32 AM |
i pray for the best and i agree with most of the people trying to help you espeshily cdodeg (above my first entry)
=,( ↑ |
| Name: -morgan macabre- | Date: Dec 5th, 2007 11:07 PM |
| friends can be a great influence on how shes acts. i know my friends helped me to stop doing the whole cutting thing. and about the whole showing off to everyone. that seems like a cry for help and attention ( im not trying to say your not doing both of those). altought she might not admit it she really wants to stop. she might also feel that she is not recognized by her peers and does (although not the best means) for attention. just sit down with her and talk with her. tell her how you feel and if you can get others that feel the same way such as friends and family members. her older sister/brother? can also be a big influence on her. try getting them to spend more time together. ↑ |
| Name: deathgirl | Date: Jan 28th, 2008 7:42 PM |
| show her that u love her and make sure u still give ur 17 year old the time of day i cut myself and i do it because i am hated and now one cares about me i have no friends so maby i dont know but maby she just needs a friend. so be there for her if my mom would do that i could stop. but i dont know her so i cants say for sure if that will work. I hope that will help you ↑ |
| Name: yvonne9903 | Date: Feb 16th, 2008 3:40 AM |
Hi there,
I've been a mental health therapist for 20 years, and I've worked with a lot of "cutters". One of the main things you'll hear from kids who cut is that it makes them "feel", when they otherwise feel numb. It's also an attention seeking behavior, and it's obviously working! Cutting among teens is sort of "contagious", you might want to ask your daughter who she learned about it from. Try approaching her in a calm, interested manner, and try to leave your emotions out of it (I know, easier said than done!). You might be surprised at how much she'll open up to you. Another reason that kids cut is because they're in extreme emotional pain, and cutting gives them something tangible to focus on. Has she had any losses or trauma in the past year or two? Does your 17 year old outshine her, and could she be doing this as a way of getting some attention focused on her? Basically, try to ask her very objective questions about her cutting. What you'll probably come up against is her not wanting to talk about it in detail. Cutters want the attention on them, not on their cutting behaviors. Some things I would ask a client are: when did you first start cutting? How did you learn about it? How do you feel before you cut? How do you feel when you cut? How about after you cut? Have you ever tried NOT to cut? How did that work for you? How does cutting work for you? ASK her about it, but don't make the mistake of trying to talk "sense" into her, cutting doesn't make sense to anyone but her. Ask her to bring you into her world, try to avoid bringing her into yours, if that makes sense. Focus on the behavior of cutting in a neutral manner (as much as you can).
Hang in there! ↑ |
| Name: OMGitscamille7 | Date: Mar 6th, 2008 6:52 AM |
| It's okay. I am a thirteen year old, too and I am in the process of trying to stop cutting. She is showing them off because she wants acceptance by them. What is she cutting with? If it is the common razor blade then it's just a phase. But, if she's using scissors, sticks, twigs, pens, fingernails, etc., then it's a problem. She will eventually get over it. Just leave her alone until she finds herself. ↑ |
| Name: s.k.d | Date: Mar 8th, 2008 12:59 AM |
i went thur this before i use to cut alot .my parent tryed to help me but really they made me feel worsem my mom would get so sad i would see her cry then i felt wrost so id cut .cutting doesnt make much sence .the 3 things that helped me were 1. i saw it was hurting the ppl around me ,my boy friend cut evertime he saw a new scar and that killed me. 2. i ened up in the hospital i almost lost my left arm i missed my nerve my just 3 layers of skin. and 3 i got in to theater .cutting is something to controll get her something only she can controll like a new pet or a new after school club.it helped me alot last sunday i hit my one year mark and it feels great.
hope i helped
~s.k.d. ↑ |
| Name: sammiantha | Date: Mar 10th, 2008 3:34 PM |
no it is not a phase, and even though it is just small cuts it dosent matter thats how more serious cuts happen, i know this because i used to cut my self and its a struggle not to every day. put her in a hospital thats what my mom did. even though there dosent seem like she had any thing to be depressed about dosrnt mean shes not, the showing the cuts off is not for attention its like a cry for help, she is saying mom help me i dont want to hurt any more. if she needs someone to talk to giver her this email address, [email protected]. i am 15 and maybe i can help her. also giver her alternitives to cutting. tell her to snap her wrists with rubber bands, then slowly stop. cutting is an adiction and needs to be treated as one. the rubber bands give the dame pain but leaves no scars and she cant slip up and acidentally kill her self. and as far as her wareing black if thats her personality then you cant change it.
hope everything gets better.
samantha ↑ |
| Name: lil_foxx | Date: Mar 13th, 2008 11:21 PM |
| I'm 17 and I went through that stage of the wearing black and all that and thats good that shes not cuttin very deep I kno that sounds bad to say she obviously shouldnt b doing it at all but I woul just talk to her about it and ask her why.. it may be she needs more attention or shes upset about something although i\I'm not sure about the whole showing it off at school thing hope i helped a lil if you need any more help or answers to questions just let me kno ↑ |
| Name: twilightofmylife | Date: Mar 22nd, 2008 6:26 PM |
| as a cutter myself, i'm telling you that she doesn't cut as a result of depression. this may be harsh, but the only reason she cuts is because she is looking for attention. cutters don't show off their cuts, they hide it. she's only looking for attention. and also if she was a serious cutter she'd be cutting deep. she'd have scars. you need to talk with her and tell her that she's being unreasonable and she obviously doesn't understand what cutters go through. as for the emo styled stuff shes wearing, its just a style and she'll probably grow out of it. if not, who cares? she can be her own person. but what you need to do i think is talk to her about the attention stuff. good luck with her ~emily. ↑ |
| Name: melrose08 | Date: Mar 31st, 2008 10:53 PM |
| Hum coming from a 16 year old who has cutting issues it sounds to me like shes doing it for attention. I cut but i need the pain because its like letting the air out of a balloon thats too full. "cat scratches' dont cause pain and there fore serve no purpose other then to 'show off'. Anyways everyone i have met other than my self that cuts is ashamed of it. Its something to hide. Also when I was sent to therapy it just put more stress on me because they treat you like a suicidal freak ( even though i was but not at that time). ↑ |
| Name: musicrockrice77178 | Date: Apr 25th, 2008 2:26 AM |
| she's looking for attention, we should know, we are teenagers. Get her into something that gives her positive attention. Try to find out why she's cutting though, talk to her friends about it, tell them you are concerned and warn your daughter that this is deadly. It's so great that we stumbled upon your forum because we are working on a sermon about this very issue for our church. Talk to her and let her know how much you mean to her. ↑ |
| Name: 30mom24 | Date: Apr 28th, 2008 3:32 PM |
My daughter, 16, started cutting herself out of the clear blue when she was 14. She has just celebrated her one year anniversary of NO CUTTING. Why do they do it? Low self-esteem, the lack of belonging or being good enough. too high of expectations not being met, etc.
Prayers helped my daughter. We never had professional help - it was a long tough year but we made it and came out closer as a family. Hope this helped. ↑ |
| Name: emilyyyyy993 | Date: May 21st, 2008 7:42 PM |
| i agree wit melrose08. i am 14 and i know that in highschool, you dont really want to show off your cuts cuz people dont really get it. and like those cat scratch things are just show. if she was really into it they would be deeper and stuff. plus, maybe if you took a step out of her life she wouldnt feel you putting so much stress on her. my mom doesnt know that i cut and the reasons i do cut is school, boys, and her. if you take a couple steps back and let her breathe it'll help. cuz i know that i cut cuz like i feel like i have the weight of the world on top of me and i cant get out of it and when my mom tries to "talk about it" she just makes it worse cuz i feel like i have to please her now. And maybe she feels like she doesnt fit in so by dressing that way she is making herself outside of the crowd so it doesnt hurt so bad when they dont choose her cuz she is "controlling" it. idk, just try giving her some space. ↑ |
| Name: Kasey | Date: Jun 5th, 2008 12:46 AM |
| cutting is usually a sign of depression to "help" deal with pain or self hatred. But the fact that she is showing the cuts off doesnt fit the normal profile of a "cutter." usually cutters keep them hidden and are embarassed to show them. It sounds to me that she is reaching out for attention for whatever reason. maybe shes lashing out due to too much pressure. Maybe pressure from being in the older siblings shadow? It does sound like a cry for help ↑ |
| Name: abster | Date: Jul 12th, 2008 1:26 AM |
yeah no problem im glade i could help
sry i havent been on in soo long
how are you and your daughter doing now?
oh and i got a new email_feel free to e-mail me @ [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: blackangel1056 | Date: Jul 15th, 2008 12:25 AM |
| i started cutting myself when i was 12. a cutter that doesnt do it for attention does whatever they can to hide it and pretend that everything is ok. if someone proudly shows their work than they are crying out for some kind of attention. therapy and medication dont always work. actually some medications have been known to cause suicidal tendancies and ideations so be careful of that. in time the situation will get better, it jus takes a long time. im now 23 and i still struggle everyday with urges. jus never forget that there is always hope. ↑ |
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